Little Lady

It was becoming ridiculous at how many times I had come home now with dread in the pit of my stomach. I sighed and stepped out of the car, Vic waiting for me so he could lock the car.

"You okay?" He whispered before planting a kiss on my lips. I smiled slightly, trying to forget who was inside of my house right now - I'd never been any good at 'living in the moment.'

"Yeah." I lied kissing him back briefly. He grabbed my hand and we headed towards the house, my stomach in knots, and my heart in overdrive. I swung the door open, sick of being afraid, sick of everything. I heard my Mike and Lily' s voices but I didn't hear Taylor's. Was that disappointment I felt? I turned to Vic quickly, not meeting his eyes.

"Listen Vic, there is, um, something you need to know..." before I could explain he spoke up.

"Taylor is here." I glanced up and tilted my head to the side, a question mark expression plastered on my face, how on earth did he know? I was about to ask when the yelling started getting louder in the kitchen and I thought it'd be best if we interrupted it now rather than later.

"Just tell me where the hell she went!" Taylor snarled.

"It's got nothing to do with you, you're not even wanted here!" Mike growled back, it looked like there was going to be some kind of WWE tribute right here in the middle of my kitchen, but quickly Lily stepped between them, the testosterone levels getting too high, even for her.

"Guys!" She held her hands up to silence the protests she knew she'd get, they stared each other down, their eyes burning holes into each other's skin, Mike looked ready to pounce and Taylor looked ready to kill, my heart was in my mouth. Taylor wore dark jeans that were ripped at the knees and a white shirt that clung to every ripple of his chest and abdomen, he was all round sexy and my mouth went dry, Mike wore a tank and for some odd reason was in his boxers and Lily...Lily was actually fully clothed. From head to toe. I felt like pinching myself to see if it was real, this was so odd.

"Leda." Someone breathed and I was pulled from my thoughts to see Taylor rushing towards me, my heart pounded in my chest, thundering away with each step he took closer to me. Once he reached me he bent down to my level and seized my upper arms in each of his hands and I felt Vic let go of my hand.

"Leda," he spoke lowly, his green eyes holding something my small mind couldn't decipher, "my gun. Where's my gun?" I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out, the weight of the situation slammed down onto my shoulders, Taylor was here, really here, not because he'd wanted to see me but because I'd stolen from him and now he was standing in my kitchen all dressed down and ridiculously handsome, his eyes silently pleading with me to co-operate while my boyfriend, his brother (who also used to be my boyfriend,) and my ex-best friend watched in silence. I felt the room around me sway from left to right for a few seconds and I wondered if Taylor wasn't holding me steady would I fall? I closed my eyes briefly and sucked in a breath, and somehow in that moment I'd decided I was going to be difficult and stubborn.

"Why do you need to know?" It was supposed to come out strong but my voice shook and I sounded like I was trying too hard. Taylor's jaw line tightened and his eyes flared for a second but he remained calm.

"It's my gun," he spoke calmly and I wished I had as much control over my emotions as he did his, "it wasn't yours to take." I shook his hands off of my upper arms and he straightened back up to his normal height, I pursed my lips at him, I hated myself for being in this situation, I hated what I'd done and the monsters I'd created out of the people I loved, but I didn't know how to release that hate, and so instead I took it out on Taylor.

"Finders keepers." I shrugged and this time it sounded as ice cool as I hoped it would. There was that flare in his eyes again, he ran his hand through his hair, exasperated at my childish attitude.

"Jeez Leda, don't be a child." I threw my hand across his face and I saw Mike smile from behind Taylor at the fact I'd just slapped him, Taylor however wasn't amused, his head barely moved to the side, the slap wasn't forceful enough but his eyes widened and then I heard him grit his teeth, his eyes becoming hooded and his whole posture stiff.

"Leda." He said and it was like some kind of warning, I swallowed hard, his tone snapping me out of my own pure hatred for a second.

"I think it's time for you to leave." Mike spoke up, his eyes sparkling with authority, Taylor turned around to face Mike and stepped a little closer to him.

"What?" Taylor snapped, "are you going to make me?" He smirked like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world and Mike took several steps forwards so he was invading Taylor's personal space.

"Yeah, I just might." Mike bit out like he was trying to be calm before the storm, Taylor laughed again and took one tiny final step forward, although Mike was taller than Taylor by three or four inches Taylor was built, really built, and Mike's skinny frame wouldn't be a match for him. I realized too late that I couldn't stand here and watch either of them get beaten to a pulp, Taylor threw the first punch and Mike rugby tackled him to the floor, I stepped back a few paces, frightened, they struggled for a few seconds before Taylor twisted around and punched Mike right in the nose. Blood everywhere. Mike was stunned and grabbed his nose quickly, giving Taylor the perfect opportunity to get out from underneath him, Taylor got to his feet awkwardly, like he'd twisted his ankle. One kick, two kick, three kicks with his good foot to Mike's stomach, my own stomach rolled at the sight, I took a few more steps back and stood on something, I glanced behind me to see what it was and gasped, Vic was sat on the floor, his knees in his chest, shaking violently, I crashed to my knees and untucked his arms from around his knees, holding his head in my hands, he wouldn't look at me, his eyes were closed and kept mumbling the word 'sorry.'

"Vic, Vic, it's okay." I figured he was having a flashback or something, he was severely uncomfortable with any kind of conflict, and who could blame him considering where he'd lived most of his life, his shaking didn't stop and my heart ached for him. "You're safe Vic, he can't hurt you, he's not here," I whispered over and over but his eyes remained shut, tears slowly rolling down his tan cheeks, "guys!" I screamed wishing they'd knock it off, they didn't even hear me though, Mike had somehow gotten up and was now crushing Taylor's hand under his foot, and although his eyes watered ever so slightly, Taylor didn't squeal at the pain, I clenched my own eyes closed, I couldn't see this, Vic couldn't see this.

"Vic, we're going to go into the other room now, okay? Can you do that? Can you stand up for me?" I hated talking to him like a child but desperation clogged my brain, making it hard to think of a better approach, he nodded his head and I breathed out a relieved breath, helping him slowly to his feet. I wrapped his arm around my shoulder and wrapped my arm around his waist and guided him towards the living room, he stopped abruptly and got sick on the floor in front of us, I felt my stomach roll at the sight but I brushed his hair back and told him it didn't matter and I'd clean it up soon, avoiding the vomit I guided him into the living room and towards the couch.

"Just sit here, okay?" He nodded, "I'll be back in one second." My voice shook portraying every single emotion I was trying my absolute best to keep inside. I brushed my lips over his forehead and then rushed into the kitchen again. Both men were equally covered in blood and Lily was off in the corner, eyes wide, unmoving, terrified by the scene in front of her, it looked like I had to take matters into my own hands. I ran over to Lily and shook her gently, she blinked a couple of times and then looked at me blankly.

"Lily, Vic is in the living room, I think he's having a panic attack or something, you need to go make sure he's okay, I'm going to break up the fight." She nodded like she understood but stayed planted to the floor where she stood, I waited a few second, thinking she'd move any second now but she didn't. Why was everyone being so defective?

"Go!" I snapped and she nodded again before sprinting off to go rescue Vic from his own mind. I ran over to Taylor and Mike, fear spreading through me, but I had to split this up before one of them killed the other, Taylor swung for Mike and everything slowed down, I saw Mike go down like a ton of bricks and my vision was momentarily blurry from the build up of tears, this time Mike didn't get up, I waited for him to get up, I waited for him to move but he didn't, dread made my knees weak and I rushed over and I pushed on Taylor's chest, he didn't move, I beat on his chest with my fists and screamed at him.

"You fucking dick! What is wrong with you? I hate you!" Taylor just stood there and took it, it's not like he had to flinch or anything, I was anything but strong, but I continued to hit him, my anger taking over. After a while I think he got bored, my face felt hot and it was wet with tears, he grabbed my wrists and looked down at me, his green eyes a sea of sadness and guilt.

"No!" I gasped "don't give me those stupidly beautifully sad green eyes! Do you have any idea what he's been through?!" I screamed, and the fight between the ogre and Mike flashed through my head, I shivered, he'd fought his dad for his brother's honor and now I'd broken them two apart. A smile spread across his features and I wondered what on earth could possibly be so amusing to him right now. For the second time I brought my hand up and just before it crashed against his face he grasped my wrist, I tried to wriggle my wrist out of his grip but he held on tighter.

"Don't be stupid." He whispered and his eyes challenged me in a way that made me squirm, finally he let my wrist go and I rushed to Mike's side, his face was mainly bloody, a deep cut running through his eyebrow, his nose crooked and his lip was bust, I brushed the hair out of his face and kissed his swollen cheek, hating myself, this wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for me. - It's not always about you, Leda. My subconscious snarled at me and she was right, I was such a selfish machine.

---- Everything was silent, uncomfortably so, I bit down on my nails, I felt blood rush to the surface and my fingers ached but I kept biting anyway. The three seater couch was occupied by Taylor on one end, Lily on the other and me in the middle, Vic sat in the armchair, his shoulders slumped and his eyes on the floor and Mike was passed out on the floor, we'd brought him in here once I'd made Taylor promise to not lay another finger on him, even if he provoked him and Taylor complied so now we were waiting for him to wake up.

"Leda," Lily turned to me, I looked to my right and raised an eyebrow, too tired to speak, "I'm sorry...for everything." Her eyes looked sad and it sounded genuine but either way I didn't care, she was the last thing on my mind right now, so I nodded.

"It's no big deal." I smiled and she returned it. We wouldn't go back to being best friends, the damage was done and I think we were both aware of that and that was okay, but I guess it isn't exactly a negative thing to make up with her. The silence dragged on, it felt like nails on a chalk board to me, I hated it, but I had nothing to say, to anyone. I wondered where the heck my mother was, now of all times she isn't here, before I could ask anyone where she'd got to Mike groaned, it was a suffering, muffled kind of sound but it broke my heart regardless. I rushed over to him, my heart hammering away, his leg twitched and he groaned again. Kneeling down by his side, I grasped his hand in mine.

"Mike! Are you okay?" I exclaimed as he opened his swollen eyes, he blinked a couple of times, and then smiled.

"Like you care." And I realized his smile was sad, I dropped his hand and my head too, I'd hurt him, I couldn't escape that, couldn't forget, no matter how hard I'd tried. I stood back up as he picked himself up off of the floor, Lily had disappeared somewhere and I sat back down, this time a little further away from Taylor, feeling guilty and hateful.

Lily reappeared moments later, a bowl of warm water and a sponge in her hands, she grabbed Mike's hand and sat him in the spare armchair, he smiled at her kindness and I thought I felt a little bit of jealousy wash over me. She knelt in front of him, setting the bowl down next to her, she dipped the sponge into the water and rung it out, then carefully she dabbed at all the blood that had dried and crusted on his face, he gritted his teeth as she accidentally nudged his broken nose and she stroked his hand with hers as a silent apology. I felt like I was intruding by watching them, like I was watching something I shouldn't be or that they were having a private moment and I shouldn't be here.

Someone stood up out of the corner of my eye and I snapped my head in that direction, it was Vic, he kept his head down as he made his way past everyone, I frowned, wondering what was wrong with him. His footsteps were soft as he walked up the stairs but I still heard them, his bedroom door closed quietly and I looked at Taylor, he smiled a little.

"Go on," he gestured towards the door, "go to him." And I smiled at how understanding he was. I pushed off the couch and stood up, figuring Lily and Mike were far too busy with each other to realize I'd even left, I headed up the stairs and knocked on Vic's bedroom door, at first he didn't answer but I knocked again and I swore I heard him mumble 'come in' so I did. When I walked in I saw the duffel bag that held all of his stuff the day he came here sat on the bed, there were a few items of clothing sat at the bottom of it and I wondered if he'd just never taken them or if he'd just put them in.

"Vic..." I spoke quietly, my voice small, I know he heard me but he didn't turn around or say anything, he just stood at the drawers and pulled them open one at a time, pulling their contents out of them. I watched intently wondering what he was doing, even though I had a good idea, I didn't want to believe it. I opened my mouth to say something but then clamped it shut.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice is a little raw and broken, he turned around but didn't look at me, the clothes bundled in his arms were thrown on the bed and then he began folding them one by one and putting them into the bag, my throat got tight, my airways feeling like they were shutting down. No. This couldn't happen. I wouldn't let it. He continued to pack his bag and I almost dropped to my knees.

"Vic! For god sakes, will you answer me?" I didn't mean to be mean but I was losing my mind, he couldn't leave me, not now. He turned around, his expression exhausted, his eyes still red, he shrugged and then choked out.

"What do you want me to say?" It sounded as if he was going to cry, "I have to go, Leda." And he turned around again, zipping up his bag and throwing it on his shoulder, the weight of his words slammed me in the chest, knocking the wind out of me, I felt everything around me dissolve, everything felt like it fell from beneath my feet, I was losing everything at such a rapid pace.

"No...you...y-you can't." I gasped my eyes brimming with tears, ready to spill and fall, his shoulders slumped and I saw him run his hands through his hair before he turned around.

"What choice do I have? It's always been somebody else..." his voice was a whisper, "even when we were little, I've always loved you and there's always been somebody better," his words were cracking my heart, "first Sam, then Mike, and now Taylor. I have to go, I have to." I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath until the sobs broke out of me, causing me to release it, his face was contorted in pain, like this was the hardest thing he would ever do, but if that was so, why was he going at all? I took a step forward, attempting to close the space between us but he shook his head and stopped me in my tracks, he was done with me and my difficult ways, he was done being perfect for me.

"Please." I whispered after quickly grasping hold of his hand, he looked down at the tangled body parts and smiled sadly and the he himself closed the space between us, we stood toe to toe and I watched his sad eyes roam over my face, he lifted his other hand and tucked some lose tendrils of hair behind my ear, still with my other hand in his other one.

"This will never be enough for you." He whispered back and then closed his eyes, shutting me off from their beautiful brown, I shook my head in disbelief, he couldn't, he can't, I couldn't go on without him. Seconds later he crashed his lips onto mine, it was a needy kiss, full of desperation and loathing and I saw a tear roll down his cheek as he pulled away, taking his hand with him and now it was me clenching my eyes shut. His footsteps sounded softly on the floor as he moved away from me, and that summed up Vic completely, he was always soft - his footsteps became further and further away and as I heard the door close I dropped to my knees, they slammed hard against the ground but that pain didn't matter, all I felt was a big, black, bottomless abyss taking over the cavity in my chest where my heart should be. I wanted to scream, I wanted to hurt somebody, I wanted to hate everybody else and blame them for this.

But I knew that the only person I could blame, was me. ---
After twenty minutes my throat was hoarse, my body was weak and I'd lost all the fight in me to get off of the floor. I couldn't even breathe without feeling like I was losing a part of myself. I wiped my face and uncurled my body from the floor, everything around me swayed but I tried my hardest to stand up, my head hurt from the pressure of crying, my eyes felt like they no longer belonged to me. And my heart, well...what heart? I heaved a sigh as I dragged myself to the door, everything hurting inside, I rubbed my face, I needed to sleep all of this off, I needed to wake up when it was over. Or not at all. I forced myself to move down the stairs, I heard Mike and Lily's voice from the living room and I wondered what they were whispering about, probably about Vic leaving. I squeezed my eyes shut, that thought made my heart wrench. I got to the bottom of the stairs and picked up my backpack, I desperately unzipped it, knowing exactly what I was looking for and exactly what I was going to do with it. I pulled the metal object out of my backpack, dropping it on the floor and turning it in my hands, it was cold and appealing and my breath caught at the sight of it. I put my finger on the trigger, my finger itching to press it in. My vision blurred and I held my breath.

I had to do this.

Notes

DRAMA LLAMA.

Second to last chapter guys.

Feedback is muchly appreciated (: