The building was monstrous, it stood incredibly tall and if it were a person it'd be a body builder. I looked at Leda, uncertainty seeping deep into my skin, she smiled lightly, the building clearly intimidating her just as much as me. The ride over here was quiet, I was grateful Leda didn't ask any questions about why I wanted to see my mom in prison or why she was even here, but she was about to find out and that thought scared me. I looked at the huge building again and gulped shaking my head, a bombshell of emotions swarming through my body.

"No," I choked out "This was a bad idea, I shouldn't have come here." What was I thinking coming here? Stupid, stupid, stupid! Leda put her hand on my hunched shoulder and I looked at her from my peripherals.

"Come on, calm down. You obviously wanted to come here for a reason, you're here now, you shouldn't back out." Her voice was warm and I nodded in agreement, yeah, she was right, of course she was right. I didn't know if I could do it though, I hadn't seen her since I was twelve years old, she probably didn't want to see me after all these years I could have visited but I didn't. I ran my fingers through my hair looking around nervously still slightly undecided.

"It's okay, I got you. If it gets too tough, we'll leave. Deal?" She smiled and it made me feel a hundred times better. I nodded and pecked her lips briefly before grabbing her hand and letting my feet shuffle forward slightly. It felt good that she was by my side, although it was where Mike should be, not Leda, it felt good to have her support. My Leda.

Mike's face popped into my head, his head hung low, his shoulders slightly shaking, me standing there motionless unsure what to do. I looked down at our entwined hands and guilt choked me vigorously. I quickly let go of her hand, her head turned my way and she frowned, I tried to play it cool but failed, she was suspicious, I kept my eyes ahead as we entered the building. There was a long queue to get inside, the guards were doing a body search of everyone, just to check nobody was smuggling drugs in to the prisoners or anything, I felt nervous, even though I knew for certain I didn't posses any drugs, these authority types always intimidate me. Leda touched my arm and sighed.

"You got this." She encouraged. I really hoped so. This could go so many different ways and the thought of it made me want to jump in our rented car and drive all the way home. But I wouldn't do that. For once in my damned life I'd be brave. Leda and I slowly parted hands as it was our turns to be searched, the woman searched her and the man searched me. Honestly I hadn't even realized we'd been holding hands until we stopped, my mind was a whirlwind.

"Arms out." The man said sharply like I was the criminal here. I complied though and of course without complaining because that's just who I was. I stuck out both of my arms and stifled a sigh as he patted my arms individually and then my chest and waist and each keg. I won't lie - it was awkward but it was a procedure that had to be taken so I let my mind drift off to all of the things in my head I hadn't filed away into a box yet, a box I now called: to be forgotten. After Leda was done getting searched too she turned to me.

"You ready?" She raised her eyebrows, looking a little nervous herself. I nodded and swallowed hard. As ready as I'd ever be. Walking past the search team we headed inside, it was as dull and dismal on the inside as it was on the outside, metal benches sat in rows a good few meters away from one another, some prisoners were already at their benches, talking to their families and friends, I pointed to a vacant bench and Leda headed over there to occupy it before anyone else could. I followed slowly my plans beginning to sweat, I kept thinking about my mom's face when she got arrested, the sheer shock and confusion. I wondered if it'd mirror the same reaction she'd have when someone went to tell her she had visitors. I sat down, the metal cold against my butt, I put my arms on the table, waiting, scared.

Ten minutes passed. Surely it didn't take this long to bring her out? I absent-mindedly began to tap my fingers on the table top, both of my legs bounced up and down nervously. Jeez this was torture. A guard slowly approached our table and I was thrilled with dread, it flooded me from head to tor, ready to drown me completely.

"You the guy that wants to see Rebecca Fuentes?" He asked lowly, his hands on the table and his attitude like he couldn't care any less about his stupid job. I nodded with an awkward shrug, he intimidated me, hell everything did these days. Everything always had. "She doesn't want to see anybody." He replied his tone harsh. He must have seen some kind of disappointment written on my face because he added "Her words." And my heart sank further.

"Please, just tell her that her son is here and its urgent." I pleaded unsure of if he'd actually say that word for word or not but I hoped and prayed he convinced her to see me. He gave a curt nod as if he'd rather not help me out but like he was obligated to so would anyway. I watched him walk away, taking all of my hope with him, I wanted to yell, slam my head on the table in frustration and just go home. But instead I sat there eyes glazed over, looking calm and collected. Leda touched my hand but I didn't even acknowledge her, my mind everywhere but this current situation. Everything seemed to slow down in my mind - agonizingly slow. I saw a guard, maybe it was the same one I'd just spoken to, I couldn't concentrate enough to know, I saw a woman, I felt dizzy, everything was caving in, I couldn't breathe.

"I can't do this." My voice sounded hoarse and distant, even to me. I felt way too far away. Was I on drugs?

"Vic, Vic, it's okay, stay with me. Listen to my voice, you're fine, you're fine." Her voice soothed me but I still felt like I was slipping. "Stop panicking, it's okay, I'm here." I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath, my chest aching. I was okay, I had to be, what other choice did I have?

My vision cleared as I took deep even breaths, my heart slowly returning to its regular beat, I rubbed my face and then my temples. I could do this right? I could do this. I looked up slowly, the woman stood just before the other side of the bench folded her arms over her chest, her eyes were chocolate brown just like mine. I expected her to look a lot older than she did, her skin wasn't too creased with age, her eyes crinkled naturally at the corners but other than that her skin was smooth.

"Hi." I swallowed hard, she sat down cautiously and her eyes flicked to Leda, taking her in, I swore I saw her grimace but I wasn't completely certain. Leda looked confident, a small but sure smile attached to her pink lips and her blue eyes as bright as ever. It was cute how confident she was. Maybe a little too confident at times.

"What do you want?" My mom snapped as if we were wasting her time, as if she had a million better things to do than see me. Honestly that hurt, I didn't want to feel like I was wasting her time at all.

"Um...I just wanted to talk to you..." my voice was small, she rolled her eyes at my pathetic demeanour and it made me notice a scar that ran right through her left eyebrow. I wondered how it'd gotten there. She cautiously sat down across from us, resting her forearms on the table, her hands interlocked together.

"Make it quick." She retorted sharply and I nodded like an idiot in reply.

"Yeah um, you know who I am right?" I asked just to double check, surely she didn't know I was her son otherwise she wouldn't be being so cold towards me. Then again, I did get her put in here.

"Er, no. But I do know what you are," she folded her arms with a bored expression and I furrowed my brows, then she went on, "a time waster." I looked at Leda unsure of what to do, was this woman even my mom? She looked like her but she sure didn't act like her.

"I-I'm Vic, y-your son." I replied a little confused. It wasn't like we hadn't met before, I'd lived with her for twelve years before she was dragged off to this place. Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked from Leda to me and then to Leda again.

"I don't know what shit you two are trying to pull but it's not funny." She snapped and stood up abruptly, I found myself standing up too.

"I-I don't understand..." I frowned with a question mark expression painted sloppily on my face. She was confusing me, more so than I already was.

"There's no way you can be my son. You're lying." She shook her head as if that was her final answer and nothing in the world could sway her or persuade her into thinking differently.

"Look, we travelled all this way from Baltimore so he could see you, why would we lie about this? We'd have nothing to gain from it." Leda butted in, I didn't mind, it was nice that she stood up for me, although my mom didn't seem to think so - that was evident as she scoffed.

"I don't even know you so feel free to pipe down." She spat coldly and Leda's eyes widened and then her expression set into a deep frown. I could tell she wanted to retort with something twice as sharp but was biting her tongue for my sake. I found her hand and gave it a squeeze, just to make sure she was okay. I noticed my mom eyeing up our entwined hands, curiosity painted on her face.

"You don't understand," my mom went on, talking to me only, "you can't be my son."

"Why?" I questioned because clearly I was. I was standing right here wasn't I?

"Because my sons' are dead."

Notes

I have no energy to write anymore.

but I'm doing my best.