The bus made an exhaling sound and then the doors closed abruptly and it sped away. I watched it as it grew smaller in scale and disappear around the corner, along with all the happiness I previously felt. Now my mind was pregnant with fear. My hand slipped down Vic's arm and I held his hand in mine, he gave it a reassuring squeeze and I smiled weakly, trying to be brave. I didn't quite know if it was the knots in my stomach causing me to think that the street seemed a lot shorter than last time I walked down it but that's how it seemed, my heart thumped a little beat in my chest and I bit down on my tongue, hoping the pain would snap me out of this dream I felt like I was trapped in.

My feet moved at an unbearably slow pace and I know Vic noticed but he didn't mention it, which I appreciated a lot. I exhaled heavily, my chest feeling a little hollow, did this really have to happen?

The door stood in front if me, the same white as it always had been, I gulped. Do I walk straight in or knock for a while? It kind of felt like an unwritten law that if you left your home without any goodbye that you lose the right to call it home. I looked at Vic, he smiled a little and gave my hand another reassuring squeeze.

"It'll be okay," he said softly, "no matter what happens." I nodded, he was right, it would be okay because I'd have him. I reached for the door handle, feeling my heartbeat in my shaking fingertips. Breathe Leda, breathe.

I pushed the door open slowly, a lump in my throat appearing almost instantly, my hand grew sweaty and I pulled it out of Vic's grasp with a blush and wiped it on my pants.

"I can't believe she did that." Mike's voice travelled from the kitchen towards me and stopped me dead in my tracks, he sounded different, more strangled and I felt something sharp pierce my heart without hesitation. I looked at Vic like a small child awaiting their guardians permission and encouragement, he nodded his head, silently telling me to be brave and just go for it. I took a deep breath and stepped over the threshold, the house seemed colder than I remembered.

I didn't like that.

"Come on, we all know Leda, she's a slut. And I don't mean that in an offensive way, that's just who she is and she can't help it." I heard Lily's voice and anger bubbled from my toes to my face and I felt my hands curl into fists. She couldn't even defend me properly godammit.

"But my brother!" Mike yelled and I imagined him waving his hands in the air in exasperation, my stomach churned over and I didn't feel brave enough for this. I knew Vic was behind me though for moral support and that urged me to go on, after all he'd come and found me hadn't he? (Not that I'd wanted to be found) but I owed it to him to be brave. I closed my eyes and thought of happy things:

Coffee in the morning,

RockSound magazine,

Live shows,

Comedians,

Spending days in PJs,

Sleeping in,

Staying up late,

Good books,

Before I knew it a smile was painted on my face. I could do this!

I took a few more steps and I was in the doorway of the kitchen, the lights were brighter in here, almost blinding, nobody noticed me at first, Mike stood there, hands braced on the counter, his head hung low, his knuckles paper white. Lily stood biting her nails by the breakfast bar, her other hand gently tapping her naked thigh. And lastly my mom, stood there with a hateful expression, her eyes pierced the floor, almost burning a hole into it. She opened her mouth to reply to Mike but spotted me from her peripheral vision. I gulped.

"You." She choked out a little stunned, no scratch that, a lot stunned. I bit down on my tongue in anticipation as Mike and Lily's heads looked in my direction too. I shrunk under their gaze, my hands behind my back to disguise the way they shook.

"Hi," I replied as even as I could (which wasn't even at all) maybe hi wasn't the right thing to say but my head was a blur.

"Leda, fuck, thank god you're back." Lily exhaled and came over to me quickly, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pulling my head into the crook of her neck. I was still pretty mad at her, but I let her, I attempted to hug back but my arms were jell-O. She turned her head and whispered in my ear.

"I'm so sorry for everything," I nodded, letting her know it was okay, after all she was my best friend once upon a time. "I just want you to know, I had nothing to do with Mike finding out." I nodded again, I didn't really care whether it was the truth or not, I had bigger problems. She released me and I gave her a weak smile and she retreated back to where she was before.

I couldn't force myself to look at Mike, I didn't want to see his expression, his pained featured turned down into a frown, so instead I looked at my mother, and regretted it straight away. As soon as I made eye contact with her she shook her head, she was ready to pounce and I knew it.

"How could you do this, Leda?" She shot at me, her eyes threatening and my mouth ran dry as I caved and caught a glimpse of Mike's expression. He looked distraught.

"I-" I started.

"You. I told you not to come back!" My mom cut me off and I furrowed my eyebrows wondering what the hell she was talking about. Then I realized she was looking past me - she was looking at Vic.

"Mom-"

"No! Leda I told him not to come back!" Then she directed her attention at Vic, "I told you, I made it very clear that you aren't wanted here."

"Shut the fuck up!" I yelled and then gasped as I looked at Mike. We'd both said that at the exact same time. He cocked an eyebrow at me, a smirk behind his grim expression and I smiled a little. My mom, wide-eyed and surprised glanced from Mike to me and back again, shocked at our audacity to tell her to shut up.

"He's my brother. He's wanted by me," Mike spat, "and as much as it boils my blood to know, he's wanted by Leda too." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Vic stood silently in the doorways, as always, eyes on the floor in submission.

"Michael, I wasn't trying to offend you, I'm on your side." My mother told him, her hand on her heart as if she's a saint. He pretended she hadn't even spoken, he kept his eyes on me.

"Leda, I need to talk to you, in private." His voice was low and his eyes burned hatred in them, I swallowed hard and nodded, following him out of the room, the silence killing me.

We reached the living room and I closed the door behind me, knowing that Lily and my mom would eavesdrop regardless.

"Mike..." I started but he cut me off by pressing his lips to mine, bruising me with his passion, I pushed on his chest knowing who it was I wanted, as soon as I pushed on him he backed off, his breathing ragged and his eyes wild.

"Do you have any fucking idea of what you've put me through?" He spat angrily and I had whiplash from his sudden change of mood. Before I could say anything at all he went on. "First you leave, you go, just like that...and then, and then," he repeated his last words pulling at his hair in frustration as if it was too hard to go on, "I find out you've been dating my brother this whole time - behind my back!" He yelled, his words cut me like the sharpest knife to my gut and I responded in the only way how. - I yelled back.

"You think that this was planned? You think I wanted to hurt you?" I shouted just as loud.

"Honestly? I don't think you cared. I think the only person you really thought about was your fucking self."

"Oh charming! It's nice to know you think so highly of me, Mike!" I snarled, my heart feeling heavy and unorthodox in my stupid chest.

"Now why would I need to think highly of you?" His voice was a whisper, I thought I saw tears in his eyes but now I'm not so sure, "you're already your own biggest fan." his laugh was a small blast of air, bitter and short. I bit my lip to stop the tears forming in my eyes, my throat burned from the huge lump lodged in it.

"I never meant to mess everything up, I never wanted this..." I whispered, too scared to talk any louder in case my voice broke.

"The world isn't a mirror, Lee. I can't be around you until you realize this." His voice did break and he hung his head low, quickly swiping at his eyes and then as he cast one last glance at me, he left the room.

I should have stopped him, I should have gotten down on my knees and begged him to forgive me, begged him to stay, but I didn't. I don't know why I didn't, I just didn't. Instead I watched him walk out of the room and listened to his lethargic footsteps go up the stairs and not come back down.

What now? Do I go back into the kitchen and face the others or just wait here and wish for it to all disappear? Before I could make a decision my phone rang - who the hell would be calling me right now? Whoever it was had the worst timing ever. I dug the phone from my pocket and was about to press answer without acknowledging the caller ID until I saw his name.

Taylor.