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Escape Route

Scream At The Drunken Moon

I was supposed to be warming my voice up for the show today but hiding is much more fitting to my attitude right now. Vic was disappointed in me. Tony blabbed my secret, I'm not angry at him just feeling a little insecure about what everyone will think of me now. As much as hiding in this closet inside the main building is keeping me sane, I have a show to play.

I creeped out of the room and tried to act as normal as anyone can that has just slipped out of a janitors closet. Which surprisingly gets you less bad looks than you'd think. I swiftly moved through the building and got to the backstage area where Jeremy and Taylor were tuning their guitar/bass.

Taylor looked up and smiled. A smile that said he knew something was up. "Hey" He said softly as I approached him.

"Hey guys" I said planting a smile on my face. Jeremy pulled me in for a hug and I felt safe. These guys were my home. My real home, the people I grew up into the person I am now with.

"Where have you been?" Jeremy asked placing his bass tuner down. I looked away for a second then back at them.

"Look guys I gotta tell you guys something before it ends up all over the internet. When I was away for the year I went through a really tough time..."

Later on stage at the Paramore show.

The set was nearly coming to an end, the guys were shocked by my admission but were supportive. It made us stronger and ready for the show. Although it was a secret, I decided the more honest I am with this, the easier it will be to over come this.

"So you guys all know we took a year out of the band. Personal reason and such" I said into the microphone. I looked to Jeremy and Taylor. They both smiled at me, knowing where this was going. "I just wanna take a minute to talk to you guys for a minute okay" I said with a beaming smile. I sat down on the the famous Paramore box and took a deep breath. "Suicide is a problem I know a lot of you guys have dealt with in your life. It's difficult to talk about but I heard it's best to tell people about this stuff with someone you trust, you guys are my friends and I trust you. About a year ago my life began to take a difficult, hard turn for the worst. I got into a lot of things I'm not proud of. I ripped apart friendships and relationships in order to feel something. The thing that I'm least proud of was giving up. I got so low that I didn't think I could honestly make it anymore, suicide felt like my only option at the time. It could have been all over, no more me and it almost was like that. Luckily, I have a great family who found me in time to save my life" I explained. I could see some kids who were crying, some were shocked and some looked like they knew exactly what I was talking about. I stood up and walked over to the side of the stage and grabbed the man I was looking for. I dragged him onstage and the crowd cheered.

"What's up lads?" He said into his microphone. I looked at Oli and smiled. We made amends and he sorted his life out too, for the better. "So I know you guys just heard something big, Hayley wanted me to come and sing this song with her because it means a lot to me and it will probably mean a lot to all of you guys to in some way". Lee Malia walked onstage with an acoustic guitar and sat down where I previously sat. "Yeah and he is gonna play guitar for us so yeah, give it up for Lee Malia" Oli finished. Taylor and Jeremy sat down on either side of Lee.

I walked over to Oli and smiled. "Thanks" I whispered.

"No problem. You ready?" He whispered back. I nodded and he looked at Lee who began to strum. "Can you hear the silence? Can you see the dark? Can you fix the broken? Can you feel... can you feel my heart?" He sung out to the crowd. They cheered and he looked at me.

I looked at Oli and smiled. "Can you help the hopeless? Well, I'm begging on my knees, Can you save my bastard soul? Will you wait for me?" I sung as best as I could. My voice was shaky but it really helped the emotion in the song come to life.

"I'm sorry brothers, so sorry lover, forgive me father, I love you mother" He sung, holding his hand out for me. I took it, with the biggest smile I have wore in months.

"Can you hear the silence? Can you see the dark? Can you fix the broken?" I sung loudly.

"Can you feel my heart? Can you feel my heart? Can you feel my heart?" We both sung

"I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone" Oli sung out.

"I long for that feeling to not feel at all. The higher I get, the lower I'll sink" I sung with so much passion.

"I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim" Oli put his arm around my waist and smiled at me.

"Can you feel my heart?" I sung.

"Can you hear the silence? Can you see the dark? Can you fix the broken? Can you feel..." Oli sung with so much heart.

"Can you feel my heart?" We both sung the last line together. Lee finished playing guitar. Jeremy and Taylor stood up and helped Lee up. They hugged and Lee bowed for the crowd.

Oli hugged me tightly and whispered in my ear. "You're beautiful for doing what you have done to survive. Keep it up and you can always count on me" He kissed my cheek and bowed to the crowd.

"Give it up for Oli Sykes and Lee Malia guys, thank you" I said into the mic. "So we got a few songs left, we ready to end this on a good note?" I asked. The crowd screamed. "Let's go".

After the show I met up with Jenna who asked me to come see the Pierce The Veil show. Which I was hesitant about but I guess I can't be a baby forever. So here I am, standing side stage. Jenna was getting ready to go onstage for Hold On Till May when I realised that Tony was going to propose to her. "Wish me luck" She grinned.

She ran out and sang her heart out. After she was done she turned to walk away but Tony stopped her. She looked at him with confusion. Vic handed Tony his microphone and they shared a smile. Tony placed his guitar on his stand and Jenna looked around for help. "Jenna" He started, he grabbed her hand and smiled at her. "We have been together for two years now. It has been the best two years of my life, believe me" He grinned. "So please do me the honour of becoming my wife" He smiled, pulled the box out of his pocket and got down on one knee. Jenna looked beyond shocked. She began crying and nodded. He put the ring on her finger and stood up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

"I love you Tony" She said, the microphone caught her saying it perfectly. He pulled away and kissed her softly. Everyone began clapping and cheering. I smiled happily, it was nice to see someone happy. I looked behind Jenna and seen Vic looking my way. We locked eyes for a few minutes but he broke it.

Jenna eventually had to come offstage. She approached me with the biggest smile I have ever seen in my life. "Hayley, oh my god" She squealed.

"I'm happy for you guys" I said happily.

"Did you know?" She asked. "Is that why you had to go talk to Tony earlier?" She was insanely curious.

"I did know" I said with a knowing smile.

"Oh, this will be a great wedding" She beamed. I nodded and then she attacked me with hugs.

"Okay, let's go celebrate this with a few drinks?" I suggested.

"What a great idea" She jumped up and down.

We decided to go back to my bus and get some drinks. They were flowing nicely and the alcohol was working through our bodies, making the euphoric feeling build. After an hour we were truly smashed. Jenna was looking on her phone through Twitter to see the reaction to her and Tony getting engaged. Her face suddenly turned into a frown.

"Hayley... why does it say all over Twitter that you confessed to a suicide attempt onstage?" She asked. Her eyes filled with confusion and hurt.

"Um, I did" I said looking away. She got up and sat next to me.

"What happened?" She said with tears filling her eyes.

"I got really sad, really depressed.and it felt like my only escape but my mom found me in time. I'm okay now though" I smiled. A few tears fell from her eyes. I wiped them away and giggled.

"You're such a dork" She finally smiled. "Hayley, will you be my maid of honour?" She asked randomly.

"Of course, thank you" I said pulling her in for a hug.

She suddenly got a text telling her there was a bus party on All Time Lows bus. We decided to head over since we were drunk already, more alcohol and celebrations were in order.

We got to the bus within minutes, before you even got to the bus you could hear the music blasting. Right now it was I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At The Disco. It seemed sorta weird since they were on this tour but it's a great song. Jenna knocked on the bus door and a drunken Rian answered. "Hello ladies" He grinned and let us in.

"Hi Rian, you seem drunk" I laughed.

"Only a little" He smiled. We walked on through and the bus was packed. Suddenly everyones eyes were on me. The talking, the laughter it all stopped. All you could hear was the music booming throughout the bus.

Jenna rolled her eyes and pulled me through the bus. We passed all of Pierce The Veil, half of You Me At Six, All Time Low and Bring Me The Horizon. Once we got to the kitchen everyone began talking again. Tony suddenly appeared in the kitchen after us. "Hayley I'm so sorry" He pleaded.

I shrugged at his apology. "Don't be, you done me a favour okay. I'm not mad" I explained. He hugged me tightly then pulled Jenna in for a hug.

"Hayley is going to be my maid of honour" She beamed into his chest.

"We've been engaged for about two hours and you've got a maid of honour already?" He asked stepping back. She nodded enthusiasticly. "This is why I love you" He smiled.

I decided to leave them alone together and go out to try and talk to some people. This time no one stopped what they were doing to gape at me. I noticed Vic look over to me as I walked over to Oli.

"Hey girl, sorry everyone decided to be douchebags just there. They were just shocked by the news" He said softly.

"It's okay man. I guess it's to be expected" I shrugged. "Anyways, how are you doing?" I asked curiously.

"Good, keeping it clean for sure" He smiled that contagious Oli Sykes smile.

"I'm glad to hear it y'know" I smiled.

"Can I talk to you?" I heard from behind me. I turned to see Vic standing with a sad look on his face. I looked at Oli and he smiled.

"Sure" I nodded. He led me off the bus and we walked over to the grass area. I decided to lie down and look at the stars. He followed suit and we laid together in silence.

Comments

whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Vic and Hayley are a no go?! Hayley has a child?! What. The. Hell. Is. Going. On?!!?!
Hahahahahahaha mOREESE
Skullqueen23 Skullqueen23
10/2/13
@Colourfultears
Oh...ok....^_^
@SmileWhileYouCan

Just keep an eye on my profile in the next day or two...
Colourfultears Colourfultears
9/30/13
@Colourfultears
DAFUDGESTICKS!!!! I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU LIKE SRSLY!!! C=