Escape Route
I Hate What It Tastes Like
Tony stopped talking to me completely. I don't fully understand why that's the thing. He'd always find an excuse to leave whenever I'd enter a room.
"So what time have we got go be there at?" Jenna asked pulling me back into reality.
"12" I mumbled. Jenna nodded and began writing down in her notepad again. "Hey, where's Tony?" I asked.
"All Time Low bus as far as I'm aware" She said looking up. I nodded and thought for a moment.
"Can you have a second look at everything incase I've missed anything please. I'm gonna go ask Tony something real quick" I said. She looked up and smiled.
"Sure thing girl. Speak later" She grinned then began looking through the book more. I stood up and left the Tonight Alive bus and walked slowly over to the All Time Low bus. I knocked on the door and Jack answered.
"HAYLEY" He squealed.
"Jack!" I grinned. He stood aside to let me in. I walked into the lounge and seen Tony and Alex playing xbox. "Tony can I talk to you?" I asked. Alex paused the game and Tony gave him a funny look.
He then looked over to me and sighed. "Okay Hayley" He placed his controller down on the couch then followed me off the bus.
We began walking through the buses silently until I got the courage to speak. "Why are you ignoring me?" I asked.
"I'm not ignoring you, I just don't know how to be around you anymore. You've changed" He said softly.
My heart felt heavy when he said that. "How?" I asked, my voice shaky.
"You seem... careless" He stopped and faced me. I did the same and looked up at his face. "It's like you've given up on every moral you have".
I looked at my feet. "I do care" I whispered.
"Hey, don't get upset Hayley" He said lifting my chin up. "You're a great person okay" He said with a weak smile.
"What makes you think I've lost my morals?" I asked.
He looked at his feet and sighed. "Whatever you feel for Patrick is great okay but you know he is married. Unless he and his wife are split up then you know it's wrong to be fooling around with him" He explained. I nodded in agreement.
"I know" I whispered.
"Remember how you felt when Vic cheated on you?" He asked.
My heart felt like it was breaking all over again. "Yeah" I said with tears forming in my eyes.
"Imagine how that girl is going to feel?" He asked and wiped away the tear that slipped down my face.
"You're right... as long as he is still with her I can't be with him" I said trying to ignore the lump that was in my throat.
"Can I ask you one thing Hayley?" I looked at him and nodded. "Do you still love Vic?"
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Why was he asking that?. "Um, what?" I asked.
"What you guys went through was difficult... and hard. Do you still love him?" He asked softly.
"I... I don't know" I whispered. I thought for a few seconds then I decided to tell Tony the thing I've been hiding all year. "Tony can I tell you a secret?" I asked.
"You can tell me anything, you know that" He smiled.
"I went into therapy this year" I said. He didn't look shocked.
"That's not a surprise Hayley you went through a-"
"Because I tried to commit suicide" I mumbled.
"Lot" He finished. His eyes widened and he looked at me with fear in his eyes. "No... no no no why would you do that Hayley?" He asked with his hands gripping my arms.
More tears began to fill my eyes up and I tried not to let them fall. "I got so low that I couldn't handle things anymore. Once I left Vic my heart felt empty and I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I loved him so much so I took a bunch of pills. Luckily my mom stopped by my house that day and she saved me" I explained.
His eyes were filled with sadness and tears. He blinked the tears away and pulled me in for a hug. "Please don't do that ever again okay?" He whispered. I nodded into his chest and then he pulled back to look at me. "Come on Hayley, I gotta show you something" He smiled.
We walked back to the Pierce The Veil bus and went inside. Jaime and Mike were in an intense game of Fifa. Vic and Lisa were on the other couch together just talking.
"Sup Hayley" Jaime said without even looking away from the screen.
"Not much Jaime, you beating Mikes ass?" I asked.
"You know it" He said with a grin.
Lisa stood up and walked over to me. "Hayley, do you wanna hang out?" She asked excitedly.
"Um sorry Tony and me have to talk about something but maybe later" I said as nicely as I could. She just turned and went back to Vic. I smiled at him and got a smile back.
Tony led me into the bunk area and closed the door. He went to his bunk and pulled out a box from under the mattress. It was a tiny box then the realisation hit me. "Open it" He said and handed me the box.
I opened it and seen a beautiful ring inside. "Holy shit, that's beautiful Tony" I said then hugged him tightly. "She will definitely say yes" I reassured him.
"So yeah, no one else knows apart from you so I need your advice on how I should do it" He asked hopeful.
"We don't throw it down on her lap and say 'here you go'. Doesn't make anyone excited to marry the guy" I laughed. He sniggered too. "I think you should do it onstage.
His eyes lit up. "Tonight Alive show or mines?" He asked.
"Yours, when she sings Hold On Till May after her part and the solo starts just whip out the ring and ask her. She'll love it and because you don't talk much onstage it'll impress her more" I smiled.
He nodded happily. "You're the best". He took the ring back then put it under his mattress again. "I'm gonna go take a piss. Be back in a minute" He said then left. I walked over to the door but stopped when I heard my name.
"I think Hayley is fooling around with Tony" Lisa stated.
"What makes you think that?" Vic asked.
"Well when I was out on my walk like ten minutes ago I seen them having like a serious conversation then they hugged for way to long" Lisa explained.
"So because they hugged it means they are fooling around together, okay Mike. We're having an affair now" Jaime said sarcastically.
"Get off me" Mike laughed.
"No you guys I'm serious" She whined.
"Why are you so two faced towards Hayley?" Mike spoke up. "Two minutes ago you wanted to hang out with her now you're talking shit about her which you shouldn't she is our friend" Mike said angrily.
"Let's drop this okay guys" Vic said sternly.
"Okay but I bet you guys $20 dollars they are hooking up through there" Lisa said obnoxiously.
"I'll hold ya to that" Mike said. There were footsteps and then the door suddenly opened. Mikes eyes widened when he realised I was standing there and heard everything.
All eyes were on me and they were shocked. Mikes eyes flicked above my head and I realised Tony was behind me.
He pushed past me and Mike. "What the fuck is your problem?" He said to Lisa.
She just looked at him with an angry look on her face. "Nothing" She said quietly.
"No seriously. You're a pain in my ass Lisa, no one fucking wants you here. All you do all day is bitch about everyone on this tour and you know what these people are our friends, no one shares your opinons whatsoever. Not even Vic" He spat at her.
She looked at Vic for help. He just shrugged. "You're not gonna back me up?"
"No Lisa he isn't he doesn't want to. Do you wanna know why?" Tony said was amusement in his voice. She nodded slowly. Tony walked over to me and pulled me to his side. "This girl has unbeknownly been the subject of your dislike for over a week now. You're number one listener is Vic. Want to know the shocking truth? He doesn't love you. He loves her. Get. That. Through. Your. Stupid. Fucking. Head" Tony spat out.
Lisa began crying. "Stop being so mean Tony" She cried out.
"Stop being a fucking bitch. Hayley has went through hell the last two years and you don't give a shit about that. All you care about is bringing her down and trying to rub in her face that you have Vic. Well to that you're an idiot. She could easily take him from you at any moment but she doesn't because she's a better person than you" Tony was getting angrier than I've ever seen him.
"Tony I think you should cal-" Mike spoke up.
"No man, we've all held back for so fucking long okay. Let's be fucking honest here" Tony said shaking his head. "If she can freely talk shit about one of our best friends then let's all give her a piece of our minds yeah?".
"Stop acting so highly about her Tony. She left Vic heartbroken. She doesn't even care about him, I'm glad he cheated on her and lost her baby" Lisa said through tears. After the words left her lips the realisation hit her and she looked shocked with herself.
The tears began to fall down my cheeks, I choked on my tears as this was blown way out of control. Vic stood up and pulled me into his arms.
"GET OUT OF HERE" Tony screamed at Lisa. She shook her head no.
"I didn't me-" She began to say but I looked her dead in the eyes.
"You're worth nothing, just a cheap little whore. Go fuck yourself" I mumbled.
"You have the cheek to call me a whore since you've been having an affair with Patrick Stump" She said standing up with a grin on her face.
Everyone looked at me shocked and I closed my eyes. Vic looked down at me with sadness in his eyes. He let me go and shook his head. "I thought maybe you learned from my mistakes that cheating was wrong, even if you're not the one who is doing the cheating Hayley. Maybe you should go and don't come back until you learn some real morals" He said walking away.
My heart began to break and the tears slipped out my eyes freely. "Vic get the fuck back here" Tony said with venom in his voice. Vic looked at him and shook his head. Tony walked up to him and grabbed Vic by the collar and threw him against the wall. "You're the goddamn reason Hayley tried to kill herself so watch your fucking mouth" Tony spat.
"TONY!" I screamed. He looked at me and his eyes widened as he realised what he said. I backed away and turned. I ran off the bus, ignoring the calls to come back. My heart was breaking.
"So what time have we got go be there at?" Jenna asked pulling me back into reality.
"12" I mumbled. Jenna nodded and began writing down in her notepad again. "Hey, where's Tony?" I asked.
"All Time Low bus as far as I'm aware" She said looking up. I nodded and thought for a moment.
"Can you have a second look at everything incase I've missed anything please. I'm gonna go ask Tony something real quick" I said. She looked up and smiled.
"Sure thing girl. Speak later" She grinned then began looking through the book more. I stood up and left the Tonight Alive bus and walked slowly over to the All Time Low bus. I knocked on the door and Jack answered.
"HAYLEY" He squealed.
"Jack!" I grinned. He stood aside to let me in. I walked into the lounge and seen Tony and Alex playing xbox. "Tony can I talk to you?" I asked. Alex paused the game and Tony gave him a funny look.
He then looked over to me and sighed. "Okay Hayley" He placed his controller down on the couch then followed me off the bus.
We began walking through the buses silently until I got the courage to speak. "Why are you ignoring me?" I asked.
"I'm not ignoring you, I just don't know how to be around you anymore. You've changed" He said softly.
My heart felt heavy when he said that. "How?" I asked, my voice shaky.
"You seem... careless" He stopped and faced me. I did the same and looked up at his face. "It's like you've given up on every moral you have".
I looked at my feet. "I do care" I whispered.
"Hey, don't get upset Hayley" He said lifting my chin up. "You're a great person okay" He said with a weak smile.
"What makes you think I've lost my morals?" I asked.
He looked at his feet and sighed. "Whatever you feel for Patrick is great okay but you know he is married. Unless he and his wife are split up then you know it's wrong to be fooling around with him" He explained. I nodded in agreement.
"I know" I whispered.
"Remember how you felt when Vic cheated on you?" He asked.
My heart felt like it was breaking all over again. "Yeah" I said with tears forming in my eyes.
"Imagine how that girl is going to feel?" He asked and wiped away the tear that slipped down my face.
"You're right... as long as he is still with her I can't be with him" I said trying to ignore the lump that was in my throat.
"Can I ask you one thing Hayley?" I looked at him and nodded. "Do you still love Vic?"
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Why was he asking that?. "Um, what?" I asked.
"What you guys went through was difficult... and hard. Do you still love him?" He asked softly.
"I... I don't know" I whispered. I thought for a few seconds then I decided to tell Tony the thing I've been hiding all year. "Tony can I tell you a secret?" I asked.
"You can tell me anything, you know that" He smiled.
"I went into therapy this year" I said. He didn't look shocked.
"That's not a surprise Hayley you went through a-"
"Because I tried to commit suicide" I mumbled.
"Lot" He finished. His eyes widened and he looked at me with fear in his eyes. "No... no no no why would you do that Hayley?" He asked with his hands gripping my arms.
More tears began to fill my eyes up and I tried not to let them fall. "I got so low that I couldn't handle things anymore. Once I left Vic my heart felt empty and I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I loved him so much so I took a bunch of pills. Luckily my mom stopped by my house that day and she saved me" I explained.
His eyes were filled with sadness and tears. He blinked the tears away and pulled me in for a hug. "Please don't do that ever again okay?" He whispered. I nodded into his chest and then he pulled back to look at me. "Come on Hayley, I gotta show you something" He smiled.
We walked back to the Pierce The Veil bus and went inside. Jaime and Mike were in an intense game of Fifa. Vic and Lisa were on the other couch together just talking.
"Sup Hayley" Jaime said without even looking away from the screen.
"Not much Jaime, you beating Mikes ass?" I asked.
"You know it" He said with a grin.
Lisa stood up and walked over to me. "Hayley, do you wanna hang out?" She asked excitedly.
"Um sorry Tony and me have to talk about something but maybe later" I said as nicely as I could. She just turned and went back to Vic. I smiled at him and got a smile back.
Tony led me into the bunk area and closed the door. He went to his bunk and pulled out a box from under the mattress. It was a tiny box then the realisation hit me. "Open it" He said and handed me the box.
I opened it and seen a beautiful ring inside. "Holy shit, that's beautiful Tony" I said then hugged him tightly. "She will definitely say yes" I reassured him.
"So yeah, no one else knows apart from you so I need your advice on how I should do it" He asked hopeful.
"We don't throw it down on her lap and say 'here you go'. Doesn't make anyone excited to marry the guy" I laughed. He sniggered too. "I think you should do it onstage.
His eyes lit up. "Tonight Alive show or mines?" He asked.
"Yours, when she sings Hold On Till May after her part and the solo starts just whip out the ring and ask her. She'll love it and because you don't talk much onstage it'll impress her more" I smiled.
He nodded happily. "You're the best". He took the ring back then put it under his mattress again. "I'm gonna go take a piss. Be back in a minute" He said then left. I walked over to the door but stopped when I heard my name.
"I think Hayley is fooling around with Tony" Lisa stated.
"What makes you think that?" Vic asked.
"Well when I was out on my walk like ten minutes ago I seen them having like a serious conversation then they hugged for way to long" Lisa explained.
"So because they hugged it means they are fooling around together, okay Mike. We're having an affair now" Jaime said sarcastically.
"Get off me" Mike laughed.
"No you guys I'm serious" She whined.
"Why are you so two faced towards Hayley?" Mike spoke up. "Two minutes ago you wanted to hang out with her now you're talking shit about her which you shouldn't she is our friend" Mike said angrily.
"Let's drop this okay guys" Vic said sternly.
"Okay but I bet you guys $20 dollars they are hooking up through there" Lisa said obnoxiously.
"I'll hold ya to that" Mike said. There were footsteps and then the door suddenly opened. Mikes eyes widened when he realised I was standing there and heard everything.
All eyes were on me and they were shocked. Mikes eyes flicked above my head and I realised Tony was behind me.
He pushed past me and Mike. "What the fuck is your problem?" He said to Lisa.
She just looked at him with an angry look on her face. "Nothing" She said quietly.
"No seriously. You're a pain in my ass Lisa, no one fucking wants you here. All you do all day is bitch about everyone on this tour and you know what these people are our friends, no one shares your opinons whatsoever. Not even Vic" He spat at her.
She looked at Vic for help. He just shrugged. "You're not gonna back me up?"
"No Lisa he isn't he doesn't want to. Do you wanna know why?" Tony said was amusement in his voice. She nodded slowly. Tony walked over to me and pulled me to his side. "This girl has unbeknownly been the subject of your dislike for over a week now. You're number one listener is Vic. Want to know the shocking truth? He doesn't love you. He loves her. Get. That. Through. Your. Stupid. Fucking. Head" Tony spat out.
Lisa began crying. "Stop being so mean Tony" She cried out.
"Stop being a fucking bitch. Hayley has went through hell the last two years and you don't give a shit about that. All you care about is bringing her down and trying to rub in her face that you have Vic. Well to that you're an idiot. She could easily take him from you at any moment but she doesn't because she's a better person than you" Tony was getting angrier than I've ever seen him.
"Tony I think you should cal-" Mike spoke up.
"No man, we've all held back for so fucking long okay. Let's be fucking honest here" Tony said shaking his head. "If she can freely talk shit about one of our best friends then let's all give her a piece of our minds yeah?".
"Stop acting so highly about her Tony. She left Vic heartbroken. She doesn't even care about him, I'm glad he cheated on her and lost her baby" Lisa said through tears. After the words left her lips the realisation hit her and she looked shocked with herself.
The tears began to fall down my cheeks, I choked on my tears as this was blown way out of control. Vic stood up and pulled me into his arms.
"GET OUT OF HERE" Tony screamed at Lisa. She shook her head no.
"I didn't me-" She began to say but I looked her dead in the eyes.
"You're worth nothing, just a cheap little whore. Go fuck yourself" I mumbled.
"You have the cheek to call me a whore since you've been having an affair with Patrick Stump" She said standing up with a grin on her face.
Everyone looked at me shocked and I closed my eyes. Vic looked down at me with sadness in his eyes. He let me go and shook his head. "I thought maybe you learned from my mistakes that cheating was wrong, even if you're not the one who is doing the cheating Hayley. Maybe you should go and don't come back until you learn some real morals" He said walking away.
My heart began to break and the tears slipped out my eyes freely. "Vic get the fuck back here" Tony said with venom in his voice. Vic looked at him and shook his head. Tony walked up to him and grabbed Vic by the collar and threw him against the wall. "You're the goddamn reason Hayley tried to kill herself so watch your fucking mouth" Tony spat.
"TONY!" I screamed. He looked at me and his eyes widened as he realised what he said. I backed away and turned. I ran off the bus, ignoring the calls to come back. My heart was breaking.
10/22/13