Escape Route
That Kiss Tastes Like Summer
Last night I ended up falling asleep on the Fall Out Boy/Panic! At The Discos bus. Since it had been forever since me and Brendon Urie had hung out we ended up talking a lot of the night and falling asleep on the couch with Patrick. It was nice to catch up and get to know both of them as they've both grown up.
"Well I'll see you guys around. I best get back to my bus and get changed for the day" I laughed while standing up. I waved bye and walked off the bus.
I heard two voices clearly aruging. "Vic it's not your place to be concerned where she is" I assumed it must have been Lisa.
"I'm just curious, god she didn't reply to anyones texts last night so we are worried" Vic replied with a sigh.
"She told Jeremy she went to Fall Out Boys bus, that is where she probably is. God Vic, you care so much about a girl who walked away from you" Lisa muttered. "At first I felt sorry for you because she left you but you know what, maybe the reason why she could do it so easily is because you drag yourself into the past so much that you can't see what is right infront of you" Lisa said with venom in her voice.
"I'm sorry. I really am, god I'll make it up to you I swear okay" He begged.
"Fine, you get one chance then that's it" She mumbled.
A few minutes passed and I decided it was okay to walk out and to my bus but my luck was not with me today. "Hayley, where were you, everyone has been concerned" I looked to see Vic standing against a bus. Lisa must have left.
I turned to him and smiled. "Fall Out Boy bus" I shrugged.
"You're getting pretty friendly with them aren't ya" He said slyly.
"Hey, I was friends with them years ago. Just rekindling my friendship" I folded my arms across my chest and turned to leave.
"Wait, okay we gotta talk Hayley" Vic said walking up to me. I turned back around and nodded.
"Okay" I let him say what he had to say.
"I know that we said we're cool but I need answers. You just left a note and that is all. I tried to contact you but you ignored me. I don't get it because you still spoke to all my friends and brother but couldn't spare two minutes to let me know you were okay, what's up with that?" He asked shaking his head.
"I know my actions can't be dismissed. I fucked up but can you blame me Vic?" I scrunched my face up. "I was gonna end up addicted to drugs or something. I needed to get out and you were the main factor in why I got so bad" I whispered, tears began to well in my eyes but I wouldn't let them fall.
"Why, I thought you loved me" He said with sadness in his voice.
"I did, believe me I really did but you came into my life at a really bad time for me. We built a relationship ontop of my heartache and it got worse as things went on" I explained. "When I found out I was pregnant I thought it might get better but it didn't. I just felt scared and waiting for the real stuff to come and be tied down to a child and you forever" I said wrapping my arms around myself. "I guess I resented you because I didn't know why I felt like that and now I do. I blame you for what happened to our baby, once it was gone I realised it was all I ever wanted" A tear fell down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away.
"I'm sorry" He mumbled. I looked at him and his face was filled with hurt.
"No, it's not your fault and I get that now. For the last year I've been in therapy and it was hard but I got the help I really needed and I'm over it I guess. I have to be" I tried to smile but I couldn't. My heart was breaking.
He didn't say anything. He just wrapped his arms around me and let me cry. The tears began to flow freely and my heart felt like it was shattering into pieces. "Darling, you'll be okay" He whispered. I looked up at him and shoved him playfully.
"You're such a dork" I laughed through the tears.
"If it makes you laugh then I'll do it all day every day" He said with a serious face. I looked at him in the eyes and before I knew it he kissed me. Sparks from his lips ran through my body and set my soul on fire. It burned with passion and electricity. Something I haven't quite felt before.
It was short, mainly because after 10 seconds I realised what was happening and pushed him away. "Vic" I said with shock. His eyes flashed with guilt. He pulled his hat off and ran his hand through his hair.
"Shit" He mumbled. "I'm sorry I-"
"No, you have a fiancé, you can't do things like that" I shook my head, tears began to fall more now.
"No don't cry" He said soothingly and stepped forward. I stepped back.
"I think I should go. We're cool though" I mumbled quickly and ran away towards my bus. I went straight to the bathroom and got changed into my clothes for the day, I needed to stop feeling like this because it was going to drag me down again.
I put on some loose shorts and a cut off tank top. It was warm out today and I just wanted to be on my own for awhile. So I decided to go and sit on the grass near the backstage entrance.
I watched as people passed me by, mostly forgetting their faces but just watching their lives for the small seconds that I seen them. I didn't notice someone sit down next to me until they nudged me. I turned to look at who it was and was greeted by Josh Franceschi.
"Josh, hey" I planted a smile on my face.
"What's a girl like you being a loner for?" He smiled. His thick English accent engulfed me and brought back the familiar feeling of being relaxed.
"I just wanted some time to myself y'know" I shrugged. "Do you ever think things will become simple for me?" I asked.
"No, I honestly don't think so" He said. I looked at him funny and he smiled. "Only because it best things in life are the things that test you in order to see if you can handle it".
"It's becoming harder and harder to believe that" I mumbled.
"What's happened that has gotten you like this today?" He asked with concern. I looked at him and sighed.
"So Vic wanted to talk about my departure last year. I agreed and it went well until we began joking around and he kissed me" I seen his eyes widen.
"Well shit. Did you want him to?" He asked.
"I don't know. It felt... right" I whispered, almost scared of it. "It felt better than any other time he has ever kissed me Josh" I said with slight happiness.
"Well that tells you it all" He nudged me. "You needed to clear your head and you did... now it's time to get back to where you should be" He said standing up. He held his hand out for me.
I took it and we both began to walk back to the buses. "So how is Alice?" I asked.
"She's good, just sad she couldn't come ontour" He said with a slight pout.
"Next time eh? I can't wait to meet her though" I smiled. I'm happy Josh moved on and got a girlfriend. From what I've seen she is pretty awesome and beautiful.
"All we gotta do is fix your love life and Warped can be the best tour ever again" Josh said enthusiasticly. God I hope he was correct.
Once we got back to the bus area it was almost time for Paramore to play their set and I was getting excited. We walked towards the stage to get ready to go on when I seen Vic and Lisa. He was cuddling into her and she was talking away to him, he didn't even look like he was listening to her. Me and Vic locked eyes for a few seconds until Jeremy got my attention.
"Hayley, you ready?" He asked. I looked away from Vic and to Jeremy.
"Yeah... I am" I smiled. I looked back at Vic and Lisa kissed him quickly and walked away. Vic looked back over and smiled. It wasn't a sweet, innocent or friendly smile. It was sly, like he was trying to say he would get me somehow. It intrigued me but my job was calling me and I walked away to hit the stage.
"Well I'll see you guys around. I best get back to my bus and get changed for the day" I laughed while standing up. I waved bye and walked off the bus.
I heard two voices clearly aruging. "Vic it's not your place to be concerned where she is" I assumed it must have been Lisa.
"I'm just curious, god she didn't reply to anyones texts last night so we are worried" Vic replied with a sigh.
"She told Jeremy she went to Fall Out Boys bus, that is where she probably is. God Vic, you care so much about a girl who walked away from you" Lisa muttered. "At first I felt sorry for you because she left you but you know what, maybe the reason why she could do it so easily is because you drag yourself into the past so much that you can't see what is right infront of you" Lisa said with venom in her voice.
"I'm sorry. I really am, god I'll make it up to you I swear okay" He begged.
"Fine, you get one chance then that's it" She mumbled.
A few minutes passed and I decided it was okay to walk out and to my bus but my luck was not with me today. "Hayley, where were you, everyone has been concerned" I looked to see Vic standing against a bus. Lisa must have left.
I turned to him and smiled. "Fall Out Boy bus" I shrugged.
"You're getting pretty friendly with them aren't ya" He said slyly.
"Hey, I was friends with them years ago. Just rekindling my friendship" I folded my arms across my chest and turned to leave.
"Wait, okay we gotta talk Hayley" Vic said walking up to me. I turned back around and nodded.
"Okay" I let him say what he had to say.
"I know that we said we're cool but I need answers. You just left a note and that is all. I tried to contact you but you ignored me. I don't get it because you still spoke to all my friends and brother but couldn't spare two minutes to let me know you were okay, what's up with that?" He asked shaking his head.
"I know my actions can't be dismissed. I fucked up but can you blame me Vic?" I scrunched my face up. "I was gonna end up addicted to drugs or something. I needed to get out and you were the main factor in why I got so bad" I whispered, tears began to well in my eyes but I wouldn't let them fall.
"Why, I thought you loved me" He said with sadness in his voice.
"I did, believe me I really did but you came into my life at a really bad time for me. We built a relationship ontop of my heartache and it got worse as things went on" I explained. "When I found out I was pregnant I thought it might get better but it didn't. I just felt scared and waiting for the real stuff to come and be tied down to a child and you forever" I said wrapping my arms around myself. "I guess I resented you because I didn't know why I felt like that and now I do. I blame you for what happened to our baby, once it was gone I realised it was all I ever wanted" A tear fell down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away.
"I'm sorry" He mumbled. I looked at him and his face was filled with hurt.
"No, it's not your fault and I get that now. For the last year I've been in therapy and it was hard but I got the help I really needed and I'm over it I guess. I have to be" I tried to smile but I couldn't. My heart was breaking.
He didn't say anything. He just wrapped his arms around me and let me cry. The tears began to flow freely and my heart felt like it was shattering into pieces. "Darling, you'll be okay" He whispered. I looked up at him and shoved him playfully.
"You're such a dork" I laughed through the tears.
"If it makes you laugh then I'll do it all day every day" He said with a serious face. I looked at him in the eyes and before I knew it he kissed me. Sparks from his lips ran through my body and set my soul on fire. It burned with passion and electricity. Something I haven't quite felt before.
It was short, mainly because after 10 seconds I realised what was happening and pushed him away. "Vic" I said with shock. His eyes flashed with guilt. He pulled his hat off and ran his hand through his hair.
"Shit" He mumbled. "I'm sorry I-"
"No, you have a fiancé, you can't do things like that" I shook my head, tears began to fall more now.
"No don't cry" He said soothingly and stepped forward. I stepped back.
"I think I should go. We're cool though" I mumbled quickly and ran away towards my bus. I went straight to the bathroom and got changed into my clothes for the day, I needed to stop feeling like this because it was going to drag me down again.
I put on some loose shorts and a cut off tank top. It was warm out today and I just wanted to be on my own for awhile. So I decided to go and sit on the grass near the backstage entrance.
I watched as people passed me by, mostly forgetting their faces but just watching their lives for the small seconds that I seen them. I didn't notice someone sit down next to me until they nudged me. I turned to look at who it was and was greeted by Josh Franceschi.
"Josh, hey" I planted a smile on my face.
"What's a girl like you being a loner for?" He smiled. His thick English accent engulfed me and brought back the familiar feeling of being relaxed.
"I just wanted some time to myself y'know" I shrugged. "Do you ever think things will become simple for me?" I asked.
"No, I honestly don't think so" He said. I looked at him funny and he smiled. "Only because it best things in life are the things that test you in order to see if you can handle it".
"It's becoming harder and harder to believe that" I mumbled.
"What's happened that has gotten you like this today?" He asked with concern. I looked at him and sighed.
"So Vic wanted to talk about my departure last year. I agreed and it went well until we began joking around and he kissed me" I seen his eyes widen.
"Well shit. Did you want him to?" He asked.
"I don't know. It felt... right" I whispered, almost scared of it. "It felt better than any other time he has ever kissed me Josh" I said with slight happiness.
"Well that tells you it all" He nudged me. "You needed to clear your head and you did... now it's time to get back to where you should be" He said standing up. He held his hand out for me.
I took it and we both began to walk back to the buses. "So how is Alice?" I asked.
"She's good, just sad she couldn't come ontour" He said with a slight pout.
"Next time eh? I can't wait to meet her though" I smiled. I'm happy Josh moved on and got a girlfriend. From what I've seen she is pretty awesome and beautiful.
"All we gotta do is fix your love life and Warped can be the best tour ever again" Josh said enthusiasticly. God I hope he was correct.
Once we got back to the bus area it was almost time for Paramore to play their set and I was getting excited. We walked towards the stage to get ready to go on when I seen Vic and Lisa. He was cuddling into her and she was talking away to him, he didn't even look like he was listening to her. Me and Vic locked eyes for a few seconds until Jeremy got my attention.
"Hayley, you ready?" He asked. I looked away from Vic and to Jeremy.
"Yeah... I am" I smiled. I looked back at Vic and Lisa kissed him quickly and walked away. Vic looked back over and smiled. It wasn't a sweet, innocent or friendly smile. It was sly, like he was trying to say he would get me somehow. It intrigued me but my job was calling me and I walked away to hit the stage.
10/22/13