One Million Branches

Being on tour with Vic and the band had definitely reminded me of all the happy and good things in life. While the death of my mother was still very much on my mind every single day, being with my friends and traveling made me think of other things, too. Seeing new things and meeting new people reminded me of what I wanted to do in life. I didn't want to be stuck in one place, I wanted to explore new things.

The downside of touring was definitely the partying. The boys wanted to go out pretty much every night and get drunk and I didn't feel comfortable with that as I really didn't drink that much. I let Vic do whatever he wanted to do and he took full advantage of that. He went out with the guys and had fun while I pretty much just spent my time in the bus or at the venues meeting people. Sometimes I went out with them and had a drink or two but I never really got drunk which led to me being the one to take care of everybody else. I had become their mom, even though I was the youngest of them all.

Another night, another party, another bar – after spending some time in the bus and getting alcohol into their systems, the guys wanted to go out. We were in Manchester, our last night in Great Britain, so they had invited a bunch of friends from other bands to join them.

”What do you want to drink?” Vic shouted over the music and grabbed my hand to pull me closer to him. This time we were in a rather small bar – everywhere I looked, I only saw people I had already met, probably everyone knew everyone.

”Water,” I mumbled. Vic rolled his eyes.

”Come on,” he said, ”Beer? Something stronger? Drinks?”

”Uh... Beer is fine,” I shrugged as I didn't want to argue with him in front of everyone. He knew I didn't want to drink anything and yet he kept pushing it.

Vic disappeared to get us something to drink, and I made my way to a table where Mike was sitting with a bunch of people I had met but who I didn't really know. I sat down next to him and he put his phone away right away.

”Hey,” he said, ”You okay? You don't look too happy.”

”I'm alright,” I nodded and forced a smile on my lips, ”Are you okay? Having fun?”

”Sure,” he said, ”I'm just waiting for somebody to show up...”

”Some girl?” I asked and started grinning, ”Do you have a girl in every country waiting for you to come back?”

”Not really,” he laughed, ”There just are some girls who I tend to see whenever I come around...”

”Oh so it is true!” I exclaimed, ”You get the best of both worlds! As, eh, nice as it sounds for you, I'm glad Vic never did that.”

”Oh but he did do that,” Mike said. My face fell and he realized what he had said.

”Shit,” he muttered, ”But, Lucy, you know, it was a long time ago, you know, before you two were anything serious, you know...”

”No, no, it's okay,” I said and quickly shook my head.

”Please don't get mad at him,” Mike said, more quietly this time, ”He tries so hard to be the perfect guy for you. I've never seen him like that, Luce, you're his girl.”

Even though Mike was just trying to make me feel better and make me ignore the fact that my boyfriend – best friend of years and years – had had a different girl in every country he had ever been to, I couldn't just completely erase it from my mind. I knew Vic had a past of some sort – everybody did – but it wasn't the kind of past that I wanted him to have, as selfish as it sounded. I wanted him to be my sweet little angel who had helped me through the death of my mother and not some kind of a man-whore who collected girls like baseball cards.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Vic came to where Mike and I were. Mike started to look uncomfortable as Vic sat down and handed me a bottle of beer. I took the bottle and thanked him. I lifted the bottle up to my lips and drank some and then it hit me. A very childish thought found its way to my mind and I knew I had to act fast.

I wanted to get really, really drunk. I wanted to show Vic that maybe I could be different, too. I wanted him to know that maybe I had another side, too, one which he didn't know about. So, wanting to act in a very immature way, I stood up without saying another word and went to get some shots.

Long story short, getting really drunk wasn't a good idea at all. After having three or four shots of tequila, my head started spinning and I could barely focus my eyes on anything. I hadn't seen Vic since I'd left the table – which must've been about fifteen minutes earlier – and truth be told, I actually didn't even feel like seeing him because I was drunk and I felt like I was on top of the world. Obviously the feeling wasn't going to last long so I had to take advantage of it while it lasted. So I went, and danced, and made a fool out of myself in a bar where nobody really danced. I danced in the middle of the floor, I danced on tables, I danced on chairs and I even danced on my way out of the bar to get some fresh air and, well, throw up.

When I got to the street, there was a bunch of guys smoking cigarettes and god knows what else, but I ignored everybody and found my way around the corner and once I couldn't see anybody, I doubled over and emptied my stomach. I coughed and spat and felt awful for a long time. Tears kept bursting out of my eyes and I swore that I would never drink tequila again.

”Lucy? Is that you?” A familiar voice came from around the corner. I stood up straight and saw Mike standing about ten feet away from me.

”Yeah,” I shrieked and tried to clear my throat. I wiped my mouth with my hand and quickly stepped away from the vomit.

”Jesus,” he muttered, ”Did you just throw up? Shit.”

”Uh...”

”Come on,” he said and grabbed me by the shoulders, ”Let's get you back to the bus.”

I wasn't feeling any better when we got to the bus. When I got in, I saw Vic sitting on one of the couches, talking on the phone with somebody, looking very frustrated and annoyed. When he noticed Mike and then me, his face softened.

”She's here,” he mumbled into the phone and then put it away. He stood up and walked to me.

”Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to call you! Where's your phone?” he exclaimed. Shit, he was angry. I started to check my pockets and tried to find my phone.

”My phone? Uh... I... I don't know,” I mumbled and shrugged.

”Are you drunk?” he asked and narrowed his eyes.

”Don't you want me to be?”

”Where did you find her?” Vic turned to look at Mike.

”She was, uh, throwing up on the street,” Mike said quietly.

”Jesus fucking christ,” Vic muttered and sighed deeply, ”Do you have any idea how worried I've been?”

He ran a hand through his hair and glared at me like I had done something wrong. But I hadn't. I was a grown up who had a right to get drunk. I was capable of taking care of myself and nothing had even happened. I wasn't going to apologize.

”I think I'm going to find myself something to drink,” I mumbled and was about to walk past Vic when he grabbed my hand.

”It better be something non-alcoholic,” he demanded sternly.

”You know, I don't really get you,” I muttered, ”First you want me to get drunk and when I do, you get mad at me. There's absolutely no logic in that.”

”I didn't think you'd get absolutely fucking shitfaced and would throw up on the street!” he exclaimed.

”Stop shouting at me,” I exclaimed, ”I don't want to talk to you. Mike, can you come help me with something?” I turned to look at Mike who nodded and quickly followed me to the back of the bus, to the second lounge. I closed the door and turned to look at him.

”I don't want to be around him tonight,” I whispered, ”He gets on my nerves. Can you tell him to back off? He won't listen to me.”
”Lucy, just go to bed, I'll deal with him,” Mike said and nodded.

”Really? Thank you, Mike,” I said and pulled him into a big hug.

Apparently Vic thought it was any of his business and decided to barge into the room.

”Lucy, what the hell are you doing?” he muttered, ”Is this what you needed him to help you with? Hugging?”

”Hey, man, just go to bed already,” Mike said to his brother.

”I'd very much like to get some privacy with my girlfriend and talk to her,” Vic muttered.

”Not tonight. You're both drunk.”

”Mike, just, fuck off,” Vic said, ”Please.”

Mike was about to give up and leave when I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. This caught Vic's attention and he let out a dramatic groan.

”For fucks sake,” he exclaimed, ”What, are you two BFF's now or what?”

”Vic, go away,” I muttered, ”You're being very immature.”

”Oh, I'm being immature? How about you, huh?”

”Why don't you go and find your little fuck buddy from England and spend a little time with her so maybe you'd calm down?” I exclaimed. Vic's eyes flew wide open and he opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

”What?” he finally asked.

”You heard me.”

”You're unbelievable,” he muttered and shook his head, ”How the hell do you even know anything about that?”

”That has nothing to do with this.”

”That has everything to do with this! Lucy, you know I'm not that person anymore so why would you even bring that up?” he shouted and ran a hand through his hair.

”Shut your mouth, you're waking the whole bus up,” I hissed at him.

”I don't care,” he said, ”I cannot believe you even brought that up.”

”Yeah, well, I cannot even believe you ever did that,” I muttered in disgust, ”You know what, I've had enough of this. Are you sleeping in our bunk or am I? Because I sure as hell won't share it with you tonight.”

”You can have it,” he muttered.

”Thank you,” I spat back and tried to push him out of my way as I started walking to the bunks.

”What, no kiss, no hug, nothing?” he shouted after me.

”I'm sure you can find both of those elsewhere!” I exclaimed, turned to look at him one last time and lifted my middle finger up.

Notes