A timid knock on the door later that night interrupted my thoughts. I waited for it to go away.
"Charley? I know you're in there." Mike's voice called softly. "Please let me in. You shouldn't, I know, but I'm begging you."
I slowly stood up and broke the silence by unlocking the door and looking at Mike. "What on earth could you possibly need right now?"
"Things aren't adding up and it's bothering me. Also, I want the truth." He said, coming in without an invitation and sitting down at the table where I had previously been.
I gaped at him. "The truth? Are you crazy? The truth is that you left and I still have no fucking idea why."
"You and I both know why." He said, fighting to keep his tone even.
"Then please enlighten me!" I said, raising my voice.
He glared at me. "Because you were sleeping with Luke!"
I gawked at him, obviously not the reaction he expected. "What?"
"That night after we fought, I felt like a dick and I went back to that store to get you the lipstick and also mint chocolate chip ice cream because it's your favourite and Luke was there and he told me you guys had been together. He acted like he didn't knew we were dating. . " Mike thought for a second. "Oh my god."
"I wasn't with him. Ever." I said, giving in to the tears that wanted to fall. "You should probably know about him."
"Tell me." Mike said softly.
"It's really hard to talk about." I said slowly, trying not to let my voice shake or sound thick. "We started dating when I was maybe nineteen. He was twenty. It was really great for the first year or so."
"Then what?" Mike asked softly.
I took a deep breath. "He started telling me he was going to leave and- and find someone thinner because I was fat and ugly and stupid. Then a little while later he would say he loved me and didn't mean it. So I stayed. He, um. . . hit me a few times. Finally I knew I needed to leave and I did. He still likes to fuck with my life. Mike, I wouldn't never do that to you because I know how shitty it feels, and I would never want anyone else to go through that."
"Oh my god. Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.
"I was afraid. I didn't want you to think I was stupid." I said softly.
"I don't. I'm so sorry, Charley. I shouldn't have just believed him, and I sure as hell shouldn't have brought Charlotte around you. God, I've been an ass."
"I'm really sorry." I blinked.
"You don't have anything to apologize for. There's something else we need to talk about." He said carefully. I didn't meet his eyes. "Charley, please."
"I was so alone. One minute I had everything and the next. . . For a really long time I numbed everything. I didn't feel. So many emotions came crashing down and I reacted the only way I knew how." I said, ashamed.
"You have to stop. Charley, listen to me." He said, lifting my head and forcing me to meet his eyes. "You're dying, and there's nothing beautiful about that."
I bit my lip. "You don't see things through my eyes."
"Remind me how much you weigh." He said gently.
"Too much. Not enough. I don't know the difference anymore."
His eyes flickered to my lips and then back to my eyes. "What can I do to convince you that you're worth it?"
"Does this mean we're friends again?" I asked. "I'm only asking because I don't think I could bare it if you stopped speaking to me again."
"I'm not leaving." said Mike, and for the first time, I believed him.

Notes

only because I love you guys.