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We Celebrate the way the night hides scars

This is gonna be hard...

~A couple hours later, in the evening. ~
I stood in the kitchen looking at Charlie’s mom’s contact in my phone; how the fuck am I suppose to break it to her over the phone? I took a deep breath and hit call. It rang a couple times and her mom answered cheerfully, “Hey, Emily! How are you dear?”
It broke my heart to think that in a matter of seconds her good mood is going to leave and be replaced with despair. “Mom, I’ve got to tell you something.”
“What is it dear?”
“I need you to sit down, and is Rylee with you?” Rylee is Charlie’s little sister. She’s still in high school so she still lived at home. I heard the phone shift so I knew mom was sitting down now, “Yes she’s sitting next to me right now.”
“Good, I need you to put it on speaker.” I heard a beep, “Hey, Emily.”
“Hey Rylee.”
“What’s going on Emily, you’re scaring Me.” her mom’s voice came through the phone again, making it harder for me to do this.
“It’s about Charlie.”
“What is it, is she okay?”
“No, mom. She’s not. Charlie was shot in a mass shooting at our apartment complex last night… she didn’t make it… I had just found out not too long ago when I was getting discharged earlier. They don’t know who it was and why they did it, but they’re working on it. I am so sorry, mom. I didn’t want to tell you like this, but I also couldn’t wait any longer. I am so sorry.” I started crying when I heard the phone drop, Charlie’s mom had started sobbing and Rylee was too. I took a deep breath hoping that it would help me talk, “Rylee, I need you to be strong right now, okay? I’ll be flying Charlie home and I’ll come home also to help with the funeral. Now I can’t do this on my own okay? I need you to call dad and tell him, I would but I have so much more to do here. I know that you can be strong; you’ve done it before. I just need you to be strong right now, for mom.” I started crying and Rylee agreed.
“I love you both so much, I’ll be home soon.” I couldn’t take it anymore, so I hung up. I dropped my phone on the counter and put my arms down leaning my head against them and sobbed.
I stood there for god knows how long; I stopped when I heard someone walk in the kitchen. I immediately stood up and faced the other way to wipe my eyes before turning around to face them. Mike stood in the doorway, “Are you okay?”
I nodded and gave him a fake smile, “Yep, I’m fine.”
“Well, Ma and Pop are here.” He gave me an unsure nod before leaving into the living room again. This is going to be hard; so freakin hard.
I took a deep breath and walked into the living room to join everyone. All the boys were up and giving Vivian and Victor hugs so I was just going to sneak past them so I could put on at least a little bit of make up before dinner. I got half way up the stars when I heard Vic yell from the front door, “Hey Emily, come meet Mike and I’s parents.”
I knew the thought of wearing makeup was too good to be true, silly me for even believing so. I turned around and smiled as best I could while walking over to them, “Hi!”
“Mom, dad, this is Emily. The girl I told you about that we met in salt lake a few years back.”
“Ah! It’s so great to meet you, darling!” Vivian instantly pulled me into a hug that I gratefully returned. It felt so weird; it’s been so long since I’d been hugged by a mother figure. I mean yeah I had a mom, but I never really liked her. She’s done her fair share of things to ‘make me happy’ and one of them just happened to affect my life so greatly that it’s still taking its toll three years later; but I was never close with my mom. I was always so close with my dad, that’s why I was so devastated when he left my family and me. Yes I did also have Charlie and Aliyah’s moms but they never hugged me, not like that anyways.
She pulled away and Victor immediately replaced her, after a couple seconds he pulled away, “I’m so happy to finally meet you, Vic and Mike have told us so much about you.”
I smiled and looked at Vic, “Yeah, I’ve heard.” I returned my look to them just as Mike had come up behind me and snaked his arms around my waist causing me to jump, squeal and slowly slide to the floor because of how ticklish I was. Everyone gave me confused looks and I turned bright red, “Sorry about that, guys. It just caught me off guard, that’s all.” I picked myself up off the floor and started walking up the stairs, punching Mike in the process. I walked into Vic’s room to get Aliyah’s makeup, I mean if they’ve already had sex she’s bound to leave her makeup here.
Once I found it I went into the bathroom and quickly applied the usual liner and mascara. Once I was done I made my way back downstairs to see everyone huddled around the table, my brother included. The only empty seat was in between, of course, Mike and Jaime; this should be interesting. I took my seat and eased into the conversation, Dakota was talking to papa about cars, Aliyah was talking to Vivian about planning a shopping day together and the rest of the boys were talking about their next tour that they had to leave on in a couple weeks. Apparently it was a four and a half almost five month tour; this should work out very nicely with the pregnant thing. By the time they get back I should be able to have done the test and have results.
~-~-~
Tonight was pretty enjoyable, considering what happened in the kitchen earlier and that stuff. Vivian and I had talked about shopping, going to some of the boys’ shows, and stuff like that. I did the dinner dishes and she helped me with them. And not to long after, her and papa left. I’m not sure why I call him papa; it just fits him better I guess?
Everyone was calming down for the night; Dakota, Vic and Aliyah all went to bed. Tony decided that he’d better get home; Jaxin and Natalie are home with ruby now so he’s not going to be alone and Austin had left, just before dinner. Last but not least, that left Me, Mike and Jaime. “Well you could just share a bed with me, Em. I don’t bite, well sort of.” He laughed as both Jaime and I made a disgusted face at him, “No Mike, I’ll pass. Jaime has a spare bedroom, I’ll just use that.”
“Fine, whatever you say. You’re missin out.” He sighed and walked up to his room, his curtain door flailing with the draft of wind as he walked in. I looked at Jaime, “Is that okay?”
“Is what okay?”
“That I use your guest room. I mean I don’t have to, I can probably just bunk with Mike or my brother.”
“No, it’s fine. Do you need to grab anything from the apartment?”
I sighed, “I don’t think that they’d let me even if I wanted to.”
“Okay, lets go then.” He gave me a half smiled and then walked out the front door and to his truck. I locked the door handle and quickly followed him. We both jumped in and took off down the street and to his house; when we got there I just went straight for my room and crawled in bed, boy was I ready to sleep. That bed felt so much better than the hospital bed that I was in for two weeks. I heard Jaime knock on the doorframe, “Are you going to sleep in that?”
I looked down at my tank top and shorts then back to him, “Yeah, why not?”
“Hold on.” He laughed and went to his room, returning momentarily with a shirt and boxers in his hand. He threw them at me; “You can wear these tonight.”
“Thanks.” I smiled and stood up; I changed my shorts and then took off my tank top to put the shirt on, which was until I realized what shirt it was. “Jaime, can you get me a different shirt?” I looked up to see him spacing out and staring at me, “Jaime!”
“Huh? What? Wait, what’s wrong with that one?”
I gave him a sarcastic look; “I kind of don’t want to wear the shirt that I saw Jessica in the day that I got in my crash.”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.” he nervously laughed and took the shirt from my hands and went to his room, returning with a different one and tossing it to me. “Thanks, babe.” I laughed and slipped it over my body but not putting my arms through so I could take off my bra. Once ready for bed, I quickly climbed underneath the covers, “Night Jaime.”
“Night Emily.” He laughed softly and walked away.
I spent a couple of hours tossing and turning not being able to sleep. Now that I thought about it, I haven’t slept by myself in a while. Well at the hospital when I was in a coma I kind of did, but not really cause someone was staying the night every night. But it was bugging me so bad; I can’t stand having a half empty bed anymore. It would be easier if Sebring were here, but I really didn’t want to have to transport her back and forth, especially when she got carsick very easily.
Maybe I could sleep by Jaime, just this once. We wont do anything, we’ll just sleep.
Nah, we better not.

I mentally slapped myself for even having the idea. I got up to get a glass of water, when I was passing Jaime’s room I looked in through the door. It looked like he was having trouble sleeping too. I continued and got half way down the stairs when I got the sudden urge to go back so I stopped and started mentally fighting with myself, Emily just go and sleep by him. You won’t die if you do; you saw that he’s having trouble sleeping also. Maybe he can’t sleep for the same reason; you’d be helping him out.
Yeah, but then he’ll think we’re getting back together which we aren’t. The only way that I’ll get back with him is if the baby is his.
Let him think what he wants, if he asks what you two are getting back together, just say you're friends that’s it.
I stood in place thinking for a moment, “This better be worth it.” I whispered to myself. I turned around and walked up the stairs and into Jaime’s room. He was laying down on the right side of the bed, facing the middle with his eyes closed. I quickly but quietly walked over to the empty side and crawled under the covers, facing away from him. I could feel that he was staring at me, so I just ignored it. It got awkward after a few minutes so I just pulled his arm over my waist and didn’t make a sound. Jaime was stiff, he had no idea what to do, and I think he was more shocked than anything. After about ten minutes he started loosening up, it wasn’t long after that that we both fell asleep.
~-~-~
“Here's a story, just bare with me,
Met a drug that changed my life.
Something like a classic movie,
Just one look, all stopped with time.
Let her in through these very veins,
Coursing through these tired bones.
Numb my body, healed my heart,
Soothes my mind, and eased my soul.”
I woke up to hear my phone going off in the guest bedroom, when I went to get up I was stopped abruptly while realizing that I still had Jaime’s arm around my waist. I slowly slid it off of me, careful not to wake him up. Once I got it off of me, I quietly ran to the guest room where my phone was repeating my brother’s ringtone, over and over again “Hello?”
“Hey, where are you?”
“There wasn’t much room at Vic's so I stayed in Jaime’s guestroom. What’s up?”
“Not much, I was just wondering if you wanted to grab some lunch or something today.”
I thought for a minute, “Well that sounds great, there’s just one thing.”
“What’s that?” he chuckled
“I need to stop by my work to talk to my boss. Oh! Oh! Oh! I know what we can do!”
“Okay, that’s fine. And what can we do?” his tone stayed sarcastic, probably knowing what I was going to say.
“We should get our matching tattoos today! Jensen, my boss can do them for free. And since they’re small they wont take long.”
“I don’t know, Em. I don’t think you should be getting a tattoo so soon after being released from the hospital.”
“Oh come on, Koda! I was in there because of a car wreck and a broken arm, there’s nothing wrong with my skin!” I whined, knowing that if I kept it up he would give in.
“No, Emily.” His ‘older brother’ tone was definitely showing through.
“PLEASE!” I whined even more
“Emily, I said no and that’s final.”
“Cowardy custard.” I mumbled in my English accent.
“What was that?”
“I said you, Dakota Vogel, are a Cowardy Custard!” I yelled with my accent into the phone, I didn’t realize how loud I was until I heard a small scream and a thud come from Jaime’s room; Did he really just get scared and fall out of bed? I silently laughed.
“You, Emily Vogel are a liar and you will spend an eternity on this ship!” if you were around my brother and I long enough, you’d realize that we talk in movie quotes all the time.
“Then I shall simply deny you the crown, and live… forever.” Dakota couldn’t think of another quote to say so we both just ended up laughing.
“Okay, I guess we can get the tattoos since you won. Do you want me to come and pick you up, or are you and Jaime gonna drive back here?”
“Umm, Jaime and I will come back to Vic’s.”
“Okay, bye Em. I’ll see ya later. Love you.”
“Bye, Koda. Love you too.” I hung up and put my phone on my bed and walked towards Jaime’s room. When I looked in I couldn’t help but laugh, Jaime was lying on the floor wrapped up in blankets. “Jaime, what are you doing?”
He looked up at me and smiled, “I’m a burrito!”
“Yes you are, now lets get up and get dressed, I’ve got a big day planned and I can’t drive myself back to Vic’s.” I walked towards him, reaching out my hand for him to take, he did and I tried pulling him up. We both ended up on the floor laughing, “Why is it that every time you’re laying down on the floor I always end up laying next to you?” I smiled at him; he did the same to me, “Because you always end up falling for me.”
“Yeah, sure.” I laughed and looked at the ceiling. We were both devoured in a silence for a few moments, “Jaime?”
“Hmm?”
“What’s your opinion on kids?”
He gave me a questioning look, “Why do you ask?”
“Oh, I’m just wondering.” I smiled and looked at him.
“Oh, well I like kids. They’re fun to be around and play with. You can be yourself around them and not worry about being judged because as long as you’re playing with them you’ll be the best person in the world, in their eyes.”
“Yeah, that’s true. Have you ever thought about having them?”
“Emily, men can’t have babies, you know this.” We both laughed and he nudged my shoulder with his. I rolled my eyes, “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
“No, I know. And to be completely honest, I have thought about starting a family. It’s one of my biggest goals in life; I want to find that perfect girl for me and marry her. Once we’re married we’re going to have 50 kids and all of their names are going to be Andy, well all the boys anyways and all the girls names are going to be Jessie.” He nodded triumphantly and flashed me a cheeky grin, causing me to laugh and then to go silent.
“What about you? Have you ever thought about it?” he propped himself on his elbow to look at me and I sighed, “Yeah, kind of.”
“Well, what’s ‘kind of’?”
“Well, I was talking to my doctor at the hospital and he said I couldn’t so the CT scan because I had that permanent birth control thing and I just really need that scan done to make sure everything in my skull is working. And he said in order to get that scan I need to get it removed, so I scheduled a day to get it taken out. And that’s what got me thinking about babies, like what if I forget that I don’t have it any more and I end up getting pregnant with someone who doesn’t want a family. What if they don’t want to settle down or have permanent tie downs, ya know? It terrifies me that I’m going to be left alone to raise a baby that I didn’t even plan to have. I am so terrified of being alone.”
Jaime cupped my cheek with his free hand, “Emily, you will never be alone. You have all of us, you have the gang.”
I smiled, “Thanks for trying to comfort me, Jaime. But that’s not what I meant; I wouldn’t want my child to grow up without a dad. I know how it feels to only have one parent; I would want my child to have both. Let them see a stable and functional relationship; I don’t want my children to end up like me.”
“Emily, I promise you that your future children will have a father, whether they like it or not.” Both Jaime and I sat up so we could face each other, “How can you promise that?”
“ I promise you, Emily Vogel, that if you ever find out that your pregnant and the father of your child doesn’t want to stay, I will marry you and adopt them so we can raise that child together.”
I laughed not believing a word he said, my dad said the same thing to my mom, and look what that got her, he didn’t even stick around long enough to see me pass the fourth grade. “That’s a great thought, Jaime. But I know you won’t do it, it’s okay.”
“How do you know that I wont?”
“ What happens if you have a girlfriend at that time? Or better yet, a fiancé?”
“I will tell them that I made a promise, and anyone who knows me well enough, knows that I never break my promises.”
I let out a nervous laugh, “Okay. Whatever you say Preciado.”
“It is whatever I say, Cutie Pie.” He pinched my cheek and smiled, making me pull away and laugh, rubbing my cheek. “Don’t ever do that again.”
“Oh I’m sorry.” Jaime leaned in and kissed it, “Better?”
I caught myself starting to smile, I quickly put my hand over my mouth and coughed to cover it up, “Yeah, sure.” I gave him a quick nod and smile before I pushed myself off the floor. “Well, I’ve got a busy day, so I better get ready.”
Jaime had a slight frown when he stood up, “Yeah, me too.”
I smiled at him and quickly left to get dressed. It took longer that I thought it would, lets just say that it’s really hard to do up your bra and shorts with one hand.
Once I was finally dressed, I found some socks that I had left here the night I stayed and slipped them on before putting on my TOMS. I then started walking down the hall and when I passed Jaime’s room the door was cracked and he was changing. Even if we never got back together for the rest of our lives, I will never hate seeing his body.
After a few minutes of the creeper status, I smiled and walked downstairs to the kitchen and started looking around. “Hmm, what should I make to eat?”
“Well, eggs and bacon sounds pretty good.” Jaime smiled and came in to join me. I smiled and looked at him, “Are you gonna cook it? I can’t cook that with one arm, I mean what will hold the pan still?”
“But I don’t wanna cook.” He pouted
I sighed and closed the cupboard I was looking in, “Okay, well I’m grabbing lunch with my brother and I’m not that hungry anyways. Ready to go?”
“Uh, sure I guess.” I walked out the front door and to the truck while Jaime grabbed his keys and quickly joined me. It was a short and awkward drive to Vic’s. Once we got there I didn’t waste any time; I ran inside and started yelling, “Koda! Where are you, Koda! Come on, let’s go! We’ve got a long day ahead of us!”
“In here, you lazy butt!” he yelled from the living room, I ran in there just as Jaime came in and shut the door. Aliyah and Dakota were playing a video game while Vic watched. I walked over and plopped on the couch, sitting half on Vic’s lap and half on Koda’s. “Where’s Mike?”
“He’s just out and about today, I’m not sure where he went off to.”
I gave them an unsure nod, “Oh, okay. That’s cool.”
“Yep.” Vic looked jut as into the game as Koda and Aliyah were. I laughed, “You ready to go, kodabear? We’ve got a day ahead of us.”
“Uh, yeah. Gimme a minute, I’m winning.” Dakota had his eyes locked on the screen and his tongue sticking out, just a little bit from concentrating. I smiled and started thinking; this is when you can tell we’re related, we do and like many of the same things. We like the same music, we play video games the same way, we are very competitive, we have the same hair color (well, our natural hair color anyways; he would look like a clown if he dyed his hair multi-colored like mine.), We cook just as well as the other, we love making people laugh, we hate seeing people cry, we’re nice to everyone until they give us a reason not to, and we love very deeply. When we start loving someone, we never really stop. We were always raised to put our heart and soul into everything that we’ve had a passion for; when we were in relationships we put our whole heart into it, just to get it broken. “How much longer?”
“I’m not sure, just Gimme a minute, I’m beating Aly.”
“You are not! I am totally winning!” Aliyah stood up on the couch and had her tongue out as well, hitting buttons like a mad man. Aliyah was never one to be good at video games; it was always Charlie and I’s thing. Aliyah just hits random buttons and hopes for the best; which for some odd reason usually works for her, lucky bastard.
I wanted to go already, so I was just gonna talk and distract them until someone lost, “Aliyah, you’re getting behind.”
“No I’m not, shut up!”
“Yeah, you are! Look! Right there! Look, a Zombie!”
“What where? Hey! This is Mortal Combat, there is no zombies!” she whined getting distracted while koda beat on her character, making her lose points and get way behind, to the point she couldn’t possibly win. After a couple more hits, Dakota won and Aliyah started throwing a fit. “Emily, you cheated! You distracted me, I demand a rematch!”
Dakota shoved me over so I was almost fully lying on Vic so he could get up, so I looked up at Vic and smiled, “Hey there, how you doin?” I winked causing him to laugh; once koda had gotten up, I rolled off of Vic and waited for the signal that we were leaving. Koda looked at me with confusion, “What car are we going to use?”
“I don’t know…” I slowly looked over at Vic and smiled, “Can we use your car please, Vicky.”
He gave me a glare, “No, you keep calling me Vicky.”
Dakota laughed, “Vic, can I please use your car?”
Vic smiled and threw the keys to him, “Yes you certainly can. See Emily, that’s how you ask to use my car. You’d be surprise on what I will do for you if you don’t call me Vicky.” He slowly looked back at me as he was talking, when he finished I leaned in close, “Vic, I wouldn’t want you to do that stuff for me anyways, you’re dating Aliyah, I’m not the kind of girl that sleeping with anything with a heartbeat.”
He gave me a confused look and after a minute it clicked, “Emily, I didn’t mean it like that and you know it.” I got up and joined koda by the front door, “Yeah, sure you didn’t. Bye Aly, Bye Vicky!” Neither aliyah nor Vic answered me, they were both pouting.
~-~-~
Dakota and I drove around talking for a bit, not knowing where we were going and not really caring. We stopped by blockbuster and got a couple movies to watch later, had lunch at an amazing Mexican restaurant, went and talked to Jensen, we got our matching tattoos of Thor’s hammer (The actual Nordic one), he got his on the top of his left hand and I got mine right underneath my boobs in the middle (It was kind of an awkward place to get a tattoo while you’re with your brother, but I couldn’t think of any other place I would want it.), after we left the shop we drove around a bit more. We ended up at my apartments; they took the tape down and were letting people go back in, so Dakota suggested I go in and get some new clothes to wear. But if they’re letting people in now, why don’t Aliyah and I just stay there from now on? But to be completely honest, I don’t think I can go in there alone right now and by alone I mean without Aliyah.
Dakota and I sat in Vic’s car looking up at the apartments, “I really need to go up there, but I’m not sure I’m ready for it. I just don’t want to have to look at Charlie’s things.” I gave koda a sad look and he gave me a encouraging smile, “how about this, when we go in I’ll cover your eyes and walk you to your room and shut the door. Once you get your stuff together, I’ll do the same thing on the way out and lock up for you, so you don’t have to see anything outside of your room. Does that work?”
I thought for a minute, “Well, yeah. I have to get in there like right now, so I guess that’ll work.” He nodded and we got out and made our way up to the apartment. Dakota did as he said he would both in and out of the apartment, I got what I needed and I didn’t burst out in tears, I’d say that was a score. We were in and out of there in about 10 minutes, flat. After we left there we had no other plans so we went back to Vic’s, just in time too.
Right when we walked through the door and into the living room Vic came up to us, “Emily, Charlie’s mom called Aliyah.”
My eyes grew wide, “What? What for?”
“Rylee tried to kill herself last night; her mom found her this morning and rushed to the hospital, they made it just in time.”

Notes

Emily's pajama's and outfit she wore coming from the hospital :http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=107225444
(Her and koda's new tattoo)

i thought since it was a holiday, i would give you guys two updates. i really hope you guys like this! gimme feedback, lovelies! i very much like feedback! plus, the more feedback i get the more it helps me decide if i want to continue with this story. or i'll probably end it soon and you guys can help me decide if there will be a sequel? haha don't forget that i love you guys and i look forward to yawls feedback(:
<3/Emilio

Comments

Yay Sequel!! I Love This Story Im Very Happy There's A Sequel! AND YOU JUST USED A STAR WARS QUOTE! You Are Officially My Favorite Now <3

this-this so many feels cant

ishaluvsu ishaluvsu
2/4/14

@turtle-wars-babe
yay okay, just message me when you want help my dear :3

taylorlovesptv taylorlovesptv
1/19/14

@taylorlovesptv
It's okay, I would've made a more lame joke. Haha and I will definitely come to you for help. :p

@turtle-wars-babe
I MISSED YOU TOO, and dude, my comments are just too damn awesome ;)
yeah, i will totally help you, and if you need help writing them also i could give you hand BECAUSE I HAVE TWO, okay yeah i just had the urge to make that really lame jokeee -_- <3

taylorlovesptv taylorlovesptv
1/19/14