Daughter of Kellin Quinn
In The End, I Lost It All
*Copeland’s POV*
Prom was honestly so amazing and I wouldn’t change it for anything.
I was passed out in bed for about 2 hours until my dad came in my room, flipping the light switch on and pulling the covers off me.
“Baby? You need to wake up.” He nudged my arm a little hard and he was breathing heavily. “Copeland, please. You have to get out of bed!” I turned over on my side and rubbed circles around my tired eyes.
“Hmm? It’s 3 in morning.” I sat up and leaned against the headboard. “What could possibly be so important that you had to wake me up at this hour?” He stared at me with sad eyes. He sat on the bed next to me and leaned closer.
“I don’t want you to freak out if I tell you. Please just try to stay calm.”
I‘m not gonna be calm if he doesn’t tell me what‘s going on! “Ok…what is it?” I said, completely not caring at the moment because I was so tired. He took a deep breath and let it all out.
“Cope,” dad started, “It’s Tony. He uh…something happened to him. He’s….he’s…in the hospital.”
My stomach just dropped. My heart just sank. What is he talking about? How could Tony be in the hospital? All of us were just at a pie celebration and now he’s in the hospital? What the hell happened?! “T-Tony? Wh-what happened to Tony?! What’s wrong with him? Why is he there?! What am I missing?! Oh my god, dad what happened!” I was frantically urging him to spill the details.
“Get dressed. I’ll explain everything in the car.”
---
“HE WHAT? HE WAS HIT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A BASEBALL BAT?!?!?!??! WHO THE FUCK WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?! WHAT CRAZY PERSON WOULD DO THAT TO SWEET TONY?!” I screamed at my dad, not trying to frighten him with me jumping out of my seat. I was pacing back and forth in my head, not knowing how to handle seeing him in the hospital. But it’s true. Who the hell would do something like this? And to Tony?! Not Tony! Who could ever hurt him? All he ever is to people is sweet and loving.
We arrived at the hospital and I immediately sprang out of my seat.
I pushed through the hospital doors and ran my way to the desk.
“Can I please see-” I began but what cut off.
“Tony Perry?” the lady said. I nodded my head. “I just had a couple of guys rushing to me asking for him. Down that hall, last room to your right.” I forced my way past everyone, not caring if I smacked someone in the face or tripped over something. I didn’t even bother checking on my dad to see if he was catching up behind me. All I could think about was if Tony was ok. I kept asking myself…who would do such a thing? I can’t think of anyone in particular.
My heart raced and my head was full of different emotions. My stomach began to churn. My hands were all sweaty and I was desperate for answers. I stopped at the room to the right labeled "Tony Perry." I saw Mike, Vic, and Jaime standing helplessly over his bed. I walked in and they all stared at me. I gave each and every one of them the tightest hug I could release out of my body.
I stood over Tony’s bed. I had no clue what to do but get in bed next to him and hold him tightly. He had an oxygen tank thing hooked up to him. He obviously couldn’t breath on his own because of what happened.
A pool of tears filled my peripherals. I tried to blink them away but blinking only made it worse. The tears fell from my eyes like Niagara Falls. I couldn’t hold them back.
I felt extra weight surround my body in all different directions. Vic, Jaime, and Mike all huddled up around Tony and I and slipped their arms under my waist. They held me tightly. The doctor came in the room. We all freaked from the sound of her voice.
“Ok guys,” she stared, “I have news.” We all sat up straight and stared at her. “Unfortunately, it isn’t good. Usually no patient wakes up from getting hit in the back of the head with a baseball bat. But for him, he has a 50-50% percent chance of waking up.”
“So what are you gonna do about it? He’s our friend!” Mike was very angry with what she was saying. I was also upset. I wanted to her to say yes, he will definitely wake up. He can get through this because we have the best doctors for the job. But no, she said 50-50% chance. I was just as mad as Mike about someone hurting Tony.
“Please doctor, we need him,” Vic said calmly. I could sense he was holding back tears.
“We’re gonna do everything we can to help your friend,” she said, searching through her list. I wonder what was so valuable on her sheet? If it has nothing to do with Tony, then I recommend she shouldn’t be staring at it. She needs to concentrate on him right now, not her stupid papers.
“What’s gonna happen to him?” Jaime asked, not breaking contact with the doctor.
“We’ll put him through surgery. The operation should work. But we’ve never had a patient with internal bleeding to the head from getting hit with a bat.”
“Well someone did it! And if I ever find who did this to him, I’m going to fucking rip their head off!” I wailed. She nodded at me and left the room. Vic and everyone else left the room too. I stayed beside Tony, not wanting to leave. I whispered in his ear.
“Tony…please…don’t leave me. You said that you’d always be there for me when I need you. And I need you now. Don’t give up on me. It’s not your time. Tony, please wake up. I need you. Don‘t leave. I love you so much turtle. I love you, Tony. Please…you can‘t go now. What will I do without you? What if I can‘t forget you if you go? Think how miserable I would be. Fuck this! You can‘t go, Tony. You can‘t. Fucking. Go.”
I stared at his helpless body. I felt just as helpless as him because I couldn’t do anything about it. I wish I knew who the hell did this to him. If only I knew. I could set them straight! I want so badly to ask why they did it. What made them come to the conclusion hurting someone was going to help them in any way? And why Tony? Out of all the people in this world? Not that Tony was the best target but why him? Seriously.
He was breathing very slowly. I laid my head down on his chest. It rose up not to high. His heart beat was super slow and his face was turning pale. This kind of pale wasn’t the same kind of pale that Vic had when he was in the hospital. It was way worse.
As I lay next to him, I thought of earlier in the night. Prom. It was so amazing. How could someone just do this to him? Who the fuck has a rotten heart? I know I keep duplicating my question but I just have to know. This is honestly ridiculous.
I stared at his lifeless body once more. I was so tired and I couldn’t bare to keep my eyes open any longer. So with that being said, I reached for his hand and braided our fingers together. His hands were just as cold as mine. Yeah, there was no way I was going to be able to stay awake. I had such a fun and crazy night at Prom and then after a pie celebration. How could it all come down to this? I feel like I’m about to just give up on life if he doesn’t wake up. The lady said they’ll put him through surgery and he should come out just fine. I wish this was all a dream. I wish everything that was happening and everything I was feeling was a complete joke. I don’t want this to happen. If he comes out ok, then all my fears will be dropped and I won’t have to worry anymore.
I just hope this whole thing was a dream.
---
I woke laying on Vic’s lap in the waiting room. Damn, it wasn’t a dream. Wait what? Why am I laying on his lap? Wasn’t I laying with Tony in his bed? And wasn’t I holding his hand? Why am I right here? Why is my dad pacing around the room veiling his eyes? Why is Vic sobbing? Why is Mike crying? And why the hell was Jaime weeping too?! What’s going on? I thought we established all the crying and breaking down earlier when Tony appeared in the hospital.
Oh shit.
I sat up and stared at Vic until he looked back at me. He pulled my shirt and yanked me into his arms. He cried louder.
I’m so confused right now. People were awkwardly staring but I didn’t let it bother me. But the thing that was bothering me was Vic, Jaime, Mike, and my dad. Why were they all beginning to cry again?
And what happened to Tony? How was his surgery?
I heard Vic and Jaime whisper to each other. I think one of them said who‘s gonna be the one to tell her? And then I heard Vic say I can‘t do it. I can‘t tell her. I just…I can‘t even… And he walked away from everybody. My dad followed behind him because they couldn’t take it.
Jaime slowly advanced over to me. He fidgeted his fingers and locked eyes with me.
“Copeland…” Jaime said. I stared deeply in his eyes, breathing callously. He didn’t speak verbally and he didn’t have to. I saw the way he looked at me and the expression on his face was dreary and heartbreaking. With one tear emptying from his eye, I knew it was bad news. He nodded his head in a left to right motion. More tears escaped his eyes and he pulled me in for a tightly gripped hug.
“Wh-wh-what happened t-to Tony? Did he not want to do his surgery? Did he wake up? Tell me!” The only thing that left his mouth was, “Fuck. I’m r-really gonna miss that s-son of a bitch.” He tried cracking a smile but it faded into teardrops crawling down the sides of his face. He weeped in my arms and I just couldn’t force a tear out of my eye. This can’t be real. I stared in his eyes until he responded.
“He…he didn’t even make it into s-surgery. His heart just gave up. I-It stopped. They said they weren’t sure if he just…I don’t know. They had to remove you from the b-bed and they d-didn’t want to wake you up. The monitor stopped and so did…his…heart. I’m sorry, it’s really h-hard it explain. I need a minute.” He walked away from me and he went into the bathroom.
Why wasn’t I crying? Why do I find it so hard to believe that he’s dead? Why I can’t I trust Jaime telling me that he’s just gone now and that he’s never coming back?
I need to see Tony to actually believe that he’s gone. I just don’t understand. He can’t be gone. Everything that happened earlier today at Prom was just gone? Dead? Nothing at all? This doesn’t make any fucking sense and I need answers! I wasn’t getting anything straight at the moment and I’m so damn confused.
I asked for a certain doctor and she came running to me.
“Is Tony ok? How did his surgery go?” I asked getting up in her face.
“I’m gonna assume your friends didn’t tell you yet. Ok. I have no other way to say this so I hope you don’t freak out or yell at me…Tony didn’t make it. I’m so sorry. His heart cancelled before we could take him into surgery. The baseball bat must’ve not been plastic. We reckon it was steel. He suffered from internal bleeding in his brain and he couldn’t take it anymore. He just…gave up. I'm so sorry.”
He put himself out of misery. I can‘t believe what I‘m hearing. A tear finally dropped from my eye when she directed me to his room. He laid there with no oxygen hooked to him anymore. I stared at his eyes for inside fluttering but not a pinch of him moved. I glanced up and down his stomach for a breathing motion but he stood still. His face was the color of a sheet a paper. He was fading away before my eyes.
I have no one to turn to now. He was really dead. Just laying there almost made me want to throw up. I’ve never been up close to a dead body before. But this dead body was Tony Perry. I never thought I’d say those words. He was really gone.
The only thing I did was ask for a little bit of time with him. The lady gladly left the room. I slowly perched myself on the side of the bed and stared at him. Literally, that’s all I did was just stare. I felt like I was staring in his soul.
“Hey, Tony,” I breathed out. He didn’t answer me nor did he budge. “I miss you already and I just saw you earlier today. Remember how much fun we were having? The way we danced and the way you told me….the way you…said…if I ever need you, you’re just a phone call away?” I began to cry lightly but I wiped away the tears. “Who will I go to now? Who can I depend on when I’m stuck in a tough situation? You said you’d always be there for me. Now you can’t because you’re laying here, obviously not going to wake up and now I’m just gonna have to cry. Tony, I want to hold your hand so tight that I might break my wrist. You could make hell feel just like home. And my scars. What if I cut again? But I always need to think to myself…this is not what it is, only baby scars. A-And now when I think of you and I’m holding a blade in my hand, I’ll try to imagine you saying…if I were you, I’d put that away. Darling you’ll be ok.” I was interrupted by the lady holding a schedule in her hand.
“It’s time,” she said with a small smile on her face. I wanted to tear that smile right off her face. It's like she was enjoying the death of him and me crying over him. What a bitch.
“Wait, no! I need a little more time!”
“You got five minutes.” And with that, she left the room once more. I know now that I only have five minutes so I better make every damn second count.
“Tony, I only have five more minutes left with you and I’m honestly going to ball out crying when they take you away from me. I can’t live without. Please say forever with me. I hope all the thoughts and f-feelings you had for me don’t go away. The first time I started to feel for you, it was like an angel came by and took me to h-heaven. Cuz when I stare in your eyes, it couldn’t be better. I w-wish you would just wake up and make me believe that this whole thing is a dream. P-please, Tony! Just remember something, I‘ll never let you go.”
I saw the lady standing by the door. She actually gave me 2 extra minutes to stay with him. But my time was up and I had to leave. I had to kill the conversation and wrap it up. They were taking Tony away from me and there was nothing I could do about it.
---
2 days later
We were on our way to Tony’s funeral. I was sitting in the back by myself with no one to talk to. I actually didn’t want to talk to anyone. I was better off not speaking because if I did, then I might just burst into tears again. I was already crying earlier at the fact that it’s Tony who was dead. My love. Even if he was older than me, I still had a strong connection with him. I know it’s wrong to be in love with someone that’s in their 40’s but you can’t stop love. So many feels and emotions were given for this man and now it’s all gone. Well, I’ll always have him in my heart.
I got out of the car and proceeded to take my seat inside. I couldn’t bare to look at his body again.
Everyone was starting to gather in and I almost started crying when I saw Jaime and them walking over to his casket.
Jaime was the first to lean over his casket. He even started talking to him like he was going to answer back.
“Tony…” he whispered softly. He couldn’t continue on. Him and everyone else sat down and waited for the priest to speak. When he was done speaking, he said if anyone had a message or passage they wanted to read to everyone in dedication of Tony Perry.
Jaime was the first one to stand. He walked to the front of his casket and faced us. “Caesar, it’s complete shit that you had to leave now. Pardon my language. It was like yesterday when we became neighbors when we were kids. We used to play outside all the time and when we would get bored, we would always turn to our guitars and start playing rad notes. I wasn’t into it as much at the time. But when we met Vic and Mike as Freshmen’s in school, our lives changed and we formed a band. We were the best of friends and we still are no matter what. Pierce the Veil meant so much to us and I can’t believe that you had to leave us now. I wish you the best of luck, Tony. You‘re such a freaking turtle. Remember my last words, the dead are living.” He finished reading off his paper and let a tear roll down his face.
The next person to go up was Mike. “Tony, my amazing friend. The collaboration we had together was unbelievable. It sucks ass to know that you’re not going to return so we can make more wonderful music. Our audiences for every concert we had were definitely all for you. Trust me, I know this. I had random fans come up to me at each show on the Collide With The Sky Tour asking if they could get your autograph. I asked them why they were asking me and not you and they said well, I’m too shy and he’s probably gonna think I’m weird because I would just scream in his face.” A smile spread across Mike’s face from reading that line off his sheet. Then he lost his smile. “The audience loves you and so do I. You’re gone but not forgotten. I always loved calling you turtle. Now, I can’t. You're in a better place, my friend.” He started crying while he walked back to his seat.
Vic was last to go up and say his final thoughts to Tony. “Tony, my main man. My Ninja Turtle buddy. My…Star Wars loving bro……” Already Vic started balling out. “Heaven gained another angel today. I’ll never forget the time when you…when you…let me borrow your headphones that day I was in desperate need of them. I was so irritated and you saved me from…chucking glasses and flipping tables all around the room. I needed music and to be in my own little state of mind. I can’t believe your…you’re…gone. None of the colors…will ever light up anymore in this whole. What if I can‘t….forget…you. I‘ll burn your…your…” Mike got up and directed Vic back to his seat. He cried so hard that his eyes turned super red within only a minute. He was so shaky it wasn’t even funny. I swear to god I was acting the same exact way in my head. And expressing it wouldn’t be pleasant to look at.
“Is there anyone else who would like to say their final words to Tony?” the priest asked, stepping to the side.
I wasn’t going to say anything. I just couldn’t. My reaction would be worse the Vic’s. I won’t even be able to get a single word out. I’m surprised he said anything at all with the way his body was severely twitching.
“Alright, in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the whole spirit, amen,” the priest began. We said the Lord’s Prayer and Hail Marry. The priest said his final words. “Bless him, Lord. Receive this man into your kingdom. For he did nothing wrong and still paid the price. Except him into paradise with you. Caesar Antonio Soto Perry, Rest in Peace, my brother.” We did the sign of this cross and stood up. They carried out his casket and more sobs escaped from everyone.
I watched as they stood under his casket, carrying it out of the funeral home. This was the last time I’ll ever see, hear, or talk to Tony again. Someone wake me up from this nightmare! Too bad it wasn’t a nightmare and I wasn’t dreaming.
My experience with Tony was amazing and I don’t care what people have to say. Tony’s my best friend and now he’s gone. I lost him. I lost it all. Everything. He was my everything and he’s the reason why I kept going everyday.
And all the times when Tony cared for me. Like a little after Prom when we went back to the bus and he talked about my scars with me. Or the time he saved me from when Brayn slapped me across the face.
Wait…Bryan…………………….Bryan. I thought to myself for a second. At Prom, Bryan looked really pissed that I was dancing with Tony and he was already mad that I didn’t wanna talk to him. It was his own fault. I figured him out too so what the hell could he be upset about? He hit me so what did he expect? I didn’t wanna talk to him so he…….he…….
No. Oh my god. No.
He was drunk. And pissed. And he had no date for Prom because his girl left him. He’s a complete wreck. And the night Tony beat the shit out of him…oh no. IT HAS TO BE BRYAN WHO HIT TONY IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! No one else would plan revenge on Tony because he’s sweet and innocent. But Bryan isn’t innocent at all! IT HAS TO BE HIM. THERE IS NO OTHER ANSWER SO IT HAS TO BE HIM! I’m going to fucking kill him!
But I’ll have to wait another day to plan my revenge on him. I’m going to make sure of it that he goes to hell for this. Even if it means I go to jail for murder, I don’t give rat’s ass. I’m going to gather up Jaime, Mike, and Vic and tell them everything that happened that night.
So what did I learn from this?
Don’t be friends with someone named Bryan. Except Bryan Stars because he’s boss. Try not to have a close relationship with someone if they are older than you by like 25 years because it could get weird. Don’t be partially famous. Don’t go to school with people if you’re famous either. Don’t trust anyone with your secrets. Trust no one, even if they’re you’re best friend. Just keep everything to yourself. Don’t give out personal shit. Don’t live with anyone named Kellin Quinn.
I guess that’s it. There’s no escaping....because...I am the daughter of Kellin Quinn.
Prom was honestly so amazing and I wouldn’t change it for anything.
I was passed out in bed for about 2 hours until my dad came in my room, flipping the light switch on and pulling the covers off me.
“Baby? You need to wake up.” He nudged my arm a little hard and he was breathing heavily. “Copeland, please. You have to get out of bed!” I turned over on my side and rubbed circles around my tired eyes.
“Hmm? It’s 3 in morning.” I sat up and leaned against the headboard. “What could possibly be so important that you had to wake me up at this hour?” He stared at me with sad eyes. He sat on the bed next to me and leaned closer.
“I don’t want you to freak out if I tell you. Please just try to stay calm.”
I‘m not gonna be calm if he doesn’t tell me what‘s going on! “Ok…what is it?” I said, completely not caring at the moment because I was so tired. He took a deep breath and let it all out.
“Cope,” dad started, “It’s Tony. He uh…something happened to him. He’s….he’s…in the hospital.”
My stomach just dropped. My heart just sank. What is he talking about? How could Tony be in the hospital? All of us were just at a pie celebration and now he’s in the hospital? What the hell happened?! “T-Tony? Wh-what happened to Tony?! What’s wrong with him? Why is he there?! What am I missing?! Oh my god, dad what happened!” I was frantically urging him to spill the details.
“Get dressed. I’ll explain everything in the car.”
---
“HE WHAT? HE WAS HIT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A BASEBALL BAT?!?!?!??! WHO THE FUCK WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?! WHAT CRAZY PERSON WOULD DO THAT TO SWEET TONY?!” I screamed at my dad, not trying to frighten him with me jumping out of my seat. I was pacing back and forth in my head, not knowing how to handle seeing him in the hospital. But it’s true. Who the hell would do something like this? And to Tony?! Not Tony! Who could ever hurt him? All he ever is to people is sweet and loving.
We arrived at the hospital and I immediately sprang out of my seat.
I pushed through the hospital doors and ran my way to the desk.
“Can I please see-” I began but what cut off.
“Tony Perry?” the lady said. I nodded my head. “I just had a couple of guys rushing to me asking for him. Down that hall, last room to your right.” I forced my way past everyone, not caring if I smacked someone in the face or tripped over something. I didn’t even bother checking on my dad to see if he was catching up behind me. All I could think about was if Tony was ok. I kept asking myself…who would do such a thing? I can’t think of anyone in particular.
My heart raced and my head was full of different emotions. My stomach began to churn. My hands were all sweaty and I was desperate for answers. I stopped at the room to the right labeled "Tony Perry." I saw Mike, Vic, and Jaime standing helplessly over his bed. I walked in and they all stared at me. I gave each and every one of them the tightest hug I could release out of my body.
I stood over Tony’s bed. I had no clue what to do but get in bed next to him and hold him tightly. He had an oxygen tank thing hooked up to him. He obviously couldn’t breath on his own because of what happened.
A pool of tears filled my peripherals. I tried to blink them away but blinking only made it worse. The tears fell from my eyes like Niagara Falls. I couldn’t hold them back.
I felt extra weight surround my body in all different directions. Vic, Jaime, and Mike all huddled up around Tony and I and slipped their arms under my waist. They held me tightly. The doctor came in the room. We all freaked from the sound of her voice.
“Ok guys,” she stared, “I have news.” We all sat up straight and stared at her. “Unfortunately, it isn’t good. Usually no patient wakes up from getting hit in the back of the head with a baseball bat. But for him, he has a 50-50% percent chance of waking up.”
“So what are you gonna do about it? He’s our friend!” Mike was very angry with what she was saying. I was also upset. I wanted to her to say yes, he will definitely wake up. He can get through this because we have the best doctors for the job. But no, she said 50-50% chance. I was just as mad as Mike about someone hurting Tony.
“Please doctor, we need him,” Vic said calmly. I could sense he was holding back tears.
“We’re gonna do everything we can to help your friend,” she said, searching through her list. I wonder what was so valuable on her sheet? If it has nothing to do with Tony, then I recommend she shouldn’t be staring at it. She needs to concentrate on him right now, not her stupid papers.
“What’s gonna happen to him?” Jaime asked, not breaking contact with the doctor.
“We’ll put him through surgery. The operation should work. But we’ve never had a patient with internal bleeding to the head from getting hit with a bat.”
“Well someone did it! And if I ever find who did this to him, I’m going to fucking rip their head off!” I wailed. She nodded at me and left the room. Vic and everyone else left the room too. I stayed beside Tony, not wanting to leave. I whispered in his ear.
“Tony…please…don’t leave me. You said that you’d always be there for me when I need you. And I need you now. Don’t give up on me. It’s not your time. Tony, please wake up. I need you. Don‘t leave. I love you so much turtle. I love you, Tony. Please…you can‘t go now. What will I do without you? What if I can‘t forget you if you go? Think how miserable I would be. Fuck this! You can‘t go, Tony. You can‘t. Fucking. Go.”
I stared at his helpless body. I felt just as helpless as him because I couldn’t do anything about it. I wish I knew who the hell did this to him. If only I knew. I could set them straight! I want so badly to ask why they did it. What made them come to the conclusion hurting someone was going to help them in any way? And why Tony? Out of all the people in this world? Not that Tony was the best target but why him? Seriously.
He was breathing very slowly. I laid my head down on his chest. It rose up not to high. His heart beat was super slow and his face was turning pale. This kind of pale wasn’t the same kind of pale that Vic had when he was in the hospital. It was way worse.
As I lay next to him, I thought of earlier in the night. Prom. It was so amazing. How could someone just do this to him? Who the fuck has a rotten heart? I know I keep duplicating my question but I just have to know. This is honestly ridiculous.
I stared at his lifeless body once more. I was so tired and I couldn’t bare to keep my eyes open any longer. So with that being said, I reached for his hand and braided our fingers together. His hands were just as cold as mine. Yeah, there was no way I was going to be able to stay awake. I had such a fun and crazy night at Prom and then after a pie celebration. How could it all come down to this? I feel like I’m about to just give up on life if he doesn’t wake up. The lady said they’ll put him through surgery and he should come out just fine. I wish this was all a dream. I wish everything that was happening and everything I was feeling was a complete joke. I don’t want this to happen. If he comes out ok, then all my fears will be dropped and I won’t have to worry anymore.
I just hope this whole thing was a dream.
---
I woke laying on Vic’s lap in the waiting room. Damn, it wasn’t a dream. Wait what? Why am I laying on his lap? Wasn’t I laying with Tony in his bed? And wasn’t I holding his hand? Why am I right here? Why is my dad pacing around the room veiling his eyes? Why is Vic sobbing? Why is Mike crying? And why the hell was Jaime weeping too?! What’s going on? I thought we established all the crying and breaking down earlier when Tony appeared in the hospital.
Oh shit.
I sat up and stared at Vic until he looked back at me. He pulled my shirt and yanked me into his arms. He cried louder.
I’m so confused right now. People were awkwardly staring but I didn’t let it bother me. But the thing that was bothering me was Vic, Jaime, Mike, and my dad. Why were they all beginning to cry again?
And what happened to Tony? How was his surgery?
I heard Vic and Jaime whisper to each other. I think one of them said who‘s gonna be the one to tell her? And then I heard Vic say I can‘t do it. I can‘t tell her. I just…I can‘t even… And he walked away from everybody. My dad followed behind him because they couldn’t take it.
Jaime slowly advanced over to me. He fidgeted his fingers and locked eyes with me.
“Copeland…” Jaime said. I stared deeply in his eyes, breathing callously. He didn’t speak verbally and he didn’t have to. I saw the way he looked at me and the expression on his face was dreary and heartbreaking. With one tear emptying from his eye, I knew it was bad news. He nodded his head in a left to right motion. More tears escaped his eyes and he pulled me in for a tightly gripped hug.
“Wh-wh-what happened t-to Tony? Did he not want to do his surgery? Did he wake up? Tell me!” The only thing that left his mouth was, “Fuck. I’m r-really gonna miss that s-son of a bitch.” He tried cracking a smile but it faded into teardrops crawling down the sides of his face. He weeped in my arms and I just couldn’t force a tear out of my eye. This can’t be real. I stared in his eyes until he responded.
“He…he didn’t even make it into s-surgery. His heart just gave up. I-It stopped. They said they weren’t sure if he just…I don’t know. They had to remove you from the b-bed and they d-didn’t want to wake you up. The monitor stopped and so did…his…heart. I’m sorry, it’s really h-hard it explain. I need a minute.” He walked away from me and he went into the bathroom.
Why wasn’t I crying? Why do I find it so hard to believe that he’s dead? Why I can’t I trust Jaime telling me that he’s just gone now and that he’s never coming back?
I need to see Tony to actually believe that he’s gone. I just don’t understand. He can’t be gone. Everything that happened earlier today at Prom was just gone? Dead? Nothing at all? This doesn’t make any fucking sense and I need answers! I wasn’t getting anything straight at the moment and I’m so damn confused.
I asked for a certain doctor and she came running to me.
“Is Tony ok? How did his surgery go?” I asked getting up in her face.
“I’m gonna assume your friends didn’t tell you yet. Ok. I have no other way to say this so I hope you don’t freak out or yell at me…Tony didn’t make it. I’m so sorry. His heart cancelled before we could take him into surgery. The baseball bat must’ve not been plastic. We reckon it was steel. He suffered from internal bleeding in his brain and he couldn’t take it anymore. He just…gave up. I'm so sorry.”
He put himself out of misery. I can‘t believe what I‘m hearing. A tear finally dropped from my eye when she directed me to his room. He laid there with no oxygen hooked to him anymore. I stared at his eyes for inside fluttering but not a pinch of him moved. I glanced up and down his stomach for a breathing motion but he stood still. His face was the color of a sheet a paper. He was fading away before my eyes.
I have no one to turn to now. He was really dead. Just laying there almost made me want to throw up. I’ve never been up close to a dead body before. But this dead body was Tony Perry. I never thought I’d say those words. He was really gone.
The only thing I did was ask for a little bit of time with him. The lady gladly left the room. I slowly perched myself on the side of the bed and stared at him. Literally, that’s all I did was just stare. I felt like I was staring in his soul.
“Hey, Tony,” I breathed out. He didn’t answer me nor did he budge. “I miss you already and I just saw you earlier today. Remember how much fun we were having? The way we danced and the way you told me….the way you…said…if I ever need you, you’re just a phone call away?” I began to cry lightly but I wiped away the tears. “Who will I go to now? Who can I depend on when I’m stuck in a tough situation? You said you’d always be there for me. Now you can’t because you’re laying here, obviously not going to wake up and now I’m just gonna have to cry. Tony, I want to hold your hand so tight that I might break my wrist. You could make hell feel just like home. And my scars. What if I cut again? But I always need to think to myself…this is not what it is, only baby scars. A-And now when I think of you and I’m holding a blade in my hand, I’ll try to imagine you saying…if I were you, I’d put that away. Darling you’ll be ok.” I was interrupted by the lady holding a schedule in her hand.
“It’s time,” she said with a small smile on her face. I wanted to tear that smile right off her face. It's like she was enjoying the death of him and me crying over him. What a bitch.
“Wait, no! I need a little more time!”
“You got five minutes.” And with that, she left the room once more. I know now that I only have five minutes so I better make every damn second count.
“Tony, I only have five more minutes left with you and I’m honestly going to ball out crying when they take you away from me. I can’t live without. Please say forever with me. I hope all the thoughts and f-feelings you had for me don’t go away. The first time I started to feel for you, it was like an angel came by and took me to h-heaven. Cuz when I stare in your eyes, it couldn’t be better. I w-wish you would just wake up and make me believe that this whole thing is a dream. P-please, Tony! Just remember something, I‘ll never let you go.”
I saw the lady standing by the door. She actually gave me 2 extra minutes to stay with him. But my time was up and I had to leave. I had to kill the conversation and wrap it up. They were taking Tony away from me and there was nothing I could do about it.
---
2 days later
We were on our way to Tony’s funeral. I was sitting in the back by myself with no one to talk to. I actually didn’t want to talk to anyone. I was better off not speaking because if I did, then I might just burst into tears again. I was already crying earlier at the fact that it’s Tony who was dead. My love. Even if he was older than me, I still had a strong connection with him. I know it’s wrong to be in love with someone that’s in their 40’s but you can’t stop love. So many feels and emotions were given for this man and now it’s all gone. Well, I’ll always have him in my heart.
I got out of the car and proceeded to take my seat inside. I couldn’t bare to look at his body again.
Everyone was starting to gather in and I almost started crying when I saw Jaime and them walking over to his casket.
Jaime was the first to lean over his casket. He even started talking to him like he was going to answer back.
“Tony…” he whispered softly. He couldn’t continue on. Him and everyone else sat down and waited for the priest to speak. When he was done speaking, he said if anyone had a message or passage they wanted to read to everyone in dedication of Tony Perry.
Jaime was the first one to stand. He walked to the front of his casket and faced us. “Caesar, it’s complete shit that you had to leave now. Pardon my language. It was like yesterday when we became neighbors when we were kids. We used to play outside all the time and when we would get bored, we would always turn to our guitars and start playing rad notes. I wasn’t into it as much at the time. But when we met Vic and Mike as Freshmen’s in school, our lives changed and we formed a band. We were the best of friends and we still are no matter what. Pierce the Veil meant so much to us and I can’t believe that you had to leave us now. I wish you the best of luck, Tony. You‘re such a freaking turtle. Remember my last words, the dead are living.” He finished reading off his paper and let a tear roll down his face.
The next person to go up was Mike. “Tony, my amazing friend. The collaboration we had together was unbelievable. It sucks ass to know that you’re not going to return so we can make more wonderful music. Our audiences for every concert we had were definitely all for you. Trust me, I know this. I had random fans come up to me at each show on the Collide With The Sky Tour asking if they could get your autograph. I asked them why they were asking me and not you and they said well, I’m too shy and he’s probably gonna think I’m weird because I would just scream in his face.” A smile spread across Mike’s face from reading that line off his sheet. Then he lost his smile. “The audience loves you and so do I. You’re gone but not forgotten. I always loved calling you turtle. Now, I can’t. You're in a better place, my friend.” He started crying while he walked back to his seat.
Vic was last to go up and say his final thoughts to Tony. “Tony, my main man. My Ninja Turtle buddy. My…Star Wars loving bro……” Already Vic started balling out. “Heaven gained another angel today. I’ll never forget the time when you…when you…let me borrow your headphones that day I was in desperate need of them. I was so irritated and you saved me from…chucking glasses and flipping tables all around the room. I needed music and to be in my own little state of mind. I can’t believe your…you’re…gone. None of the colors…will ever light up anymore in this whole. What if I can‘t….forget…you. I‘ll burn your…your…” Mike got up and directed Vic back to his seat. He cried so hard that his eyes turned super red within only a minute. He was so shaky it wasn’t even funny. I swear to god I was acting the same exact way in my head. And expressing it wouldn’t be pleasant to look at.
“Is there anyone else who would like to say their final words to Tony?” the priest asked, stepping to the side.
I wasn’t going to say anything. I just couldn’t. My reaction would be worse the Vic’s. I won’t even be able to get a single word out. I’m surprised he said anything at all with the way his body was severely twitching.
“Alright, in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the whole spirit, amen,” the priest began. We said the Lord’s Prayer and Hail Marry. The priest said his final words. “Bless him, Lord. Receive this man into your kingdom. For he did nothing wrong and still paid the price. Except him into paradise with you. Caesar Antonio Soto Perry, Rest in Peace, my brother.” We did the sign of this cross and stood up. They carried out his casket and more sobs escaped from everyone.
I watched as they stood under his casket, carrying it out of the funeral home. This was the last time I’ll ever see, hear, or talk to Tony again. Someone wake me up from this nightmare! Too bad it wasn’t a nightmare and I wasn’t dreaming.
My experience with Tony was amazing and I don’t care what people have to say. Tony’s my best friend and now he’s gone. I lost him. I lost it all. Everything. He was my everything and he’s the reason why I kept going everyday.
And all the times when Tony cared for me. Like a little after Prom when we went back to the bus and he talked about my scars with me. Or the time he saved me from when Brayn slapped me across the face.
Wait…Bryan…………………….Bryan. I thought to myself for a second. At Prom, Bryan looked really pissed that I was dancing with Tony and he was already mad that I didn’t wanna talk to him. It was his own fault. I figured him out too so what the hell could he be upset about? He hit me so what did he expect? I didn’t wanna talk to him so he…….he…….
No. Oh my god. No.
He was drunk. And pissed. And he had no date for Prom because his girl left him. He’s a complete wreck. And the night Tony beat the shit out of him…oh no. IT HAS TO BE BRYAN WHO HIT TONY IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! No one else would plan revenge on Tony because he’s sweet and innocent. But Bryan isn’t innocent at all! IT HAS TO BE HIM. THERE IS NO OTHER ANSWER SO IT HAS TO BE HIM! I’m going to fucking kill him!
But I’ll have to wait another day to plan my revenge on him. I’m going to make sure of it that he goes to hell for this. Even if it means I go to jail for murder, I don’t give rat’s ass. I’m going to gather up Jaime, Mike, and Vic and tell them everything that happened that night.
So what did I learn from this?
Don’t be friends with someone named Bryan. Except Bryan Stars because he’s boss. Try not to have a close relationship with someone if they are older than you by like 25 years because it could get weird. Don’t be partially famous. Don’t go to school with people if you’re famous either. Don’t trust anyone with your secrets. Trust no one, even if they’re you’re best friend. Just keep everything to yourself. Don’t give out personal shit. Don’t live with anyone named Kellin Quinn.
I guess that’s it. There’s no escaping....because...I am the daughter of Kellin Quinn.
Notes
*double title credit: Black Veil Brides;) both those parts are song titles. even tho i think "double title credit" means two diff bands. it's fine.*Austin Carlile reference;) (heaven gained another angel today) RIP Katelyne Norman
*Caraphernelia reference;3
*Yeah Boy and Doll Face referecnce;P
*Bulletproof Love reference:)
*Second and Sebring reference!:)
*Hold On Till May reference;*
*Stomach Tied In Knots reference<3
*James Dean, Audrey Hepburn reference;)
*Jaime Preciado reference;P (you freaking turtle)
*Never Let You Go reference:)....JB...don't judge me.
*Mike Fuentes reference:P (you can't stop love)
*Mitch Lucker reference:) (THE DEAD ARE LIVING) RIP:(
I meant to put in all those references! For the last chapter, i think it deserved all of them
the "jaime talking to tony" part in the casket is actually true. Not those 2 ppl exactly but my uncle started tlking 2 his mom (grandma) in the casket when she passes.
epilogue will come tomorrow!
@Adileneee__cx
thank you love:)
6/19/14