All Again For You
We're Better Off Without You
I slipped on the maxi dress I’d be wearing today for Shannon’s baby shower. I quickly put on my shoes, and admired myself in the mirror before I took off. I grabbed my bag that Mike had bought me and my keys and went to the kitchen where my grandma and Celina were. “Alright grandma, I’m out. We’ll be back in a little bit.” I announced as Celina stood up from the couch, grabbing her purse.
“Okay mija, have fun. Win some baby shower games for me.”
“I never win those.” I furrowed my eyebrows, sadly.
“Get over it and win something.” She ignored my sadness and continued washing dishes. I walked out of her house and to my car, with my cousin following me. I was feeling sad once I noticed Mike left his hoodie in here last night. I moved it to the back seat and started up the car. After his show last night, he and I spent some time alone at Vic’s house. He was going to be gone for another six weeks and I wasn’t sure if I was going to have time to visit him in one of the other cities.
I began my journey to Shannon’s mother’s house, where the baby shower was being held. “Why are you so quiet?” Celina asked as she closed the visor, after checking her appearance. She looked over to me and I frowned.
“Nothing, I just miss Mike.” I answered honestly. I didn’t want to feel this way, but I did.
She smiled softly, “You know, I have to give it to you. I wouldn’t be able to handle Joseph being gone all the time. Especially with Abby here.”
I gave her a weak smile, “I just got so used to having him around the house. Saying bye never gets easier.” She furrowed her eyebrows, trying to imagine herself in my shoes. “But, I would never want him to do anything else, you know?”
“And that’s how I know that you’re in love with him.” She grinned, eyeing me. I chuckled softly, matching her grin.
We arrived at the baby shower, and said our hellos to everyone. Stephanie was sitting with us chatting when Shannon made her way over to us. She was so much bigger than the last time I had seen her. She sat down on the sofa besides Celina, and let out a sigh. “Jesus, my feet are tired.”
“How’ve you been feeling?” I asked even though the expression on her face read that she was exhausted.
“Okay. I’m just really tired. Eric’s been a saint, though.” She swooned over a man that I have yet to meet. She went on about how great Eric has been and how they have been talking about getting married. She said she loved him and was really excited about the future. Stephanie smiled as Shannon spoke about how in love she was with Eric. I was falling in and out of the conversation as I was texting Mike about how he had arrived at the next venue. “So Lucy, when are you and Mike going to get married or start trying for kids?” Shannon questioned me with a small smirk on her face.
By this point, I was more than done with everyone asking me those questions. I was sick of the pressure that was being put on Mike and I. I laughed it off, a hint of irritation in my tone. “We’re not ready for that right now.”
“Well, when are you gonna be ready? He’s already going to be 30 this year and you’re gonna be 28 in three months.”
“So?”
“So, you and him aren’t getting any younger.” She spat with an ounce of venom in her voice.
“Okay, but if him and I don’t want to do any of that right now, then we don’t. What do mine and Mike’s decisions have to do with you?” I didn’t want to get angry. Not with a hormonal pregnant women who so happens to be my best friend, but I was about to crack. Shannon was the last voice I wanted to hear regarding this topic.
“It has nothing to do with me. I’m just saying, Eric and I are in love and we are talking about getting married.”
“You and this guy Eric, that no one has ever met by the way, are talking about getting married because you are about to have a child from wedlock.” Celina and Steph’s eyes grew wide as they watched Shannon and I go back and forth. I knew that Celina knew I was getting tired of the pressure. She was the only one in my life who hadn’t said something about it.
She eyed me, “All you and Mike are, are selfish people. You two just care about yourselves and your jobs. Open your eyes honey, there’s a whole world out there that you two aren’t seeing.”
I was beyond confused at what she was saying. “What are you even talking about, Shan?”
She wasn’t done with her rant because she didn’t bother answering my question. “If you and Mike are so in love and so perfect like you two make it seem, why won’t you get married?”
“Perfect? Who the fuck said that him and I were perfect?”
“You don’t have to say it. Everyone knows. Sorry we can’t all be like you and Mike and be so perfectly in love and have the perfect lives together.”
“What are you even saying?” I asked again, becoming more than frustrated with her. “Mike and I aren’t perfect! We get into arguments just like everyone else does, we annoy the shit out of each other just like every couple feels; but we don’t fucking display our issues out to the world like you do. We work things out on our own, like couples should do.”
She rolled her eyes, “Whatever, dude. You and him are so fucked.”
I looked at her, feeling more disappointed and defeated than ever. How could my best friend say this to me about me and Mike? I stood up and got my purse, trying to keep my calm about how hurt I felt. “Your gift for you and your baby is on the table. Mike picked it out.” I eyed her, looking at Celina so we could leave. I wasn’t going to make a scene here at her mother’s house. I was just going to leave. Steph stood up along with Celina, grabbing her purse. I walked out of the two-story brick house with my cousin and best friend’s fiancée in tow, and we piled in my car and went to Double Shots.
Cristian and Justin were there, and we told Brandon to meet us there. I sat at the bar, staring at the bottom of the glass that I had just emptied. “I can’t believe she said that to you.” Justin said, his hazel eyes wide.
I sat there, cocking an eyebrow as everyone commented. “She’s been different since Eric came into her life.” Stephanie added, whom was sitting to the right of me.
I nodded slowly, “She has. She’s been so not her. Her attitude is different. That spunky Shannon hasn’t been there since he’s been around. And that’s that no one has even met him! Her cousin told me today that even she hasn’t met him.”
“And how she was going on and on about how in love she was, made me think she wasn’t in love.” Celina said, drinking a glass of water. Brandon walked in soon after, twirling his keys on his finger. He went up and hugged, Celina, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and kissed Stephanie on the lips.
Cristian looked at me, “Didn’t she meet him here?”
I looked at him, “When?”
“That night that we were all here, except Celina and Steph, but remember you had come down after work and then you ran into Mike here?”
Brandon’s eyes went wide, “Oh yeah. That was the third time she ran into him.” He smirked.
“She met him that night? I don’t remember seeing him.” I ingnored Brandon's comment.
“You and Mike had left. He took you back to your grandma’s. She left the bar after you left and then went back to dance and then I saw her with this guy, then she left. And after that, she said she had a boyfriend.”
“So, what happened?” Brandon asked as he sipped on a beer.
Stephanie explained everything that happened at the baby shower to him and he gave me a weird look. “You should have seen how she was looking at me when she told me all of that, though.” I couldn’t shake her facial expression. She was burning her glare into me and it stayed there in my mind.
“How’d she look at you?”
“She looked like she hated me.” I said blankly, frowning.
“She just seemed so angry the second she sat down with us.” Celina added, causing a nod to come from Brandon and him to furrow his eyebrows.
"What happened to her?" Justin questioned to us, that question lingering in the air as no one had the answer.
"Hey baby!" Mike's face lit up as he answered his video chat call.
Seeing his face made me happy, "Hey buggie! How'd the show go?"
"Fucking awesome. I had forgot that this show was sold out." He grinned, adjusting the laptop so I could see him better. "How'd the baby shower go?"
I half-smiled, playng with Ludo as we sat on my bed. "It was interesting I'd say."
He raised an eyebrow, "Why?"
"Shannon like hates me. Well, it seemed like she did anyway."
"Why would she hate you?" He was so confused.
I sighed then explained the conversation that happened between Shannon and I. When I was done, he seemed really mad. "Wow, fuck her."
"Don't say that."
"No, fuck her. She's been such a bitch since she met that dude and I never said anything. I don't care if she is hormonal, she doesn't need to be a fucking cunt to you. Especially about our relationship. That's none of her business. We've never said anything to her about her relationship with this dude that no one knows."
"I know, baby. I know. I tried not to get mad because she's extra sensitive plus all of her family was there so I just got myself out of the situation and left."
His eyebrows were furrowed, "I can't believe she said that to you. I'm really sick of everyone trying to tell us what to do."
I nodded, "I hear ya on that one. I don't see why everyone has to have an opinion on it."
"It's gonna happen. But, they'll have to wait for that." He winked, laughing.
I rolled my eyes, "You're stupid."
He smiled, looking straight at me, "I'm sorry that you had a bad day, princess."
I shook my head, "It wasn't a bad day. Even if it was, you just made it better."
"Don't I always?"
"You always do, buggie. And that's why I love you."
A couple of days passed, and I was sitting around the house with Ludo. I had just cleaned the house and was now looking at the next band that Alt. Press wanted to interview and at the same time, looking at houses that were available. I had a mug of steaming hot coffee sitting beside me on the table, and Ludo was sleeping soundly beside me on his blanket.
The doorbell rang and I got up, not paying much attention to my surroundings and hit my leg on the corner of a table. "Ow! Fuck, man. That always happens." I rubbed my thigh as I walked up to my front door, opening it. My eyes went wide when I was who was standing at my doorstep. "Austin? What are you doing here?"
He cleared his throat then looked at me with sunken eyes, "Can we talk?"
I nodded, almost shaken as if I had seen a ghost. He walked in slowly and walked to the living room, sitting on the love seat couch. I closed the door and went to sit on the long couch that I was previously sitting on. He sat there nervously, his leg shaking. "Are you okay?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"I've just been thinking. A lot actually. I know that you probably hate me, and I get that. I hate me, too. I'm sure Mike hates me. And, I don't blame him." He paused momentarily then began again after taking a breath. "I'm really sorry. I'm the last person to judge on relationships. I haven't even had a good track record, I mean fuck. I'm gonna be 27 and I've already been married and divorced. I think I just got protective because you're my best friend. Believe me, it had nothing to do with what happened last year. He took my best friend away from me and I got mad, I guess." He looked over to me, and I couldn't help but be silent as I looked at him.
He continued talking, "I want Mike to like me as your friend. I never even took the time to ask you how happy he makes you. I mean, I know he does, I can see it on your face. Look Lucy, I'm just really sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me. Hell, I wouldn't forgive me. But, I just need someone like you in my life. I miss my best friend."
I took in a deep breath, wondering what I would do. I forgave Austin a first time for being rude to Mike, and then he did it again. Should I let someone in who doesn't even believe in my happiness?
“Okay mija, have fun. Win some baby shower games for me.”
“I never win those.” I furrowed my eyebrows, sadly.
“Get over it and win something.” She ignored my sadness and continued washing dishes. I walked out of her house and to my car, with my cousin following me. I was feeling sad once I noticed Mike left his hoodie in here last night. I moved it to the back seat and started up the car. After his show last night, he and I spent some time alone at Vic’s house. He was going to be gone for another six weeks and I wasn’t sure if I was going to have time to visit him in one of the other cities.
I began my journey to Shannon’s mother’s house, where the baby shower was being held. “Why are you so quiet?” Celina asked as she closed the visor, after checking her appearance. She looked over to me and I frowned.
“Nothing, I just miss Mike.” I answered honestly. I didn’t want to feel this way, but I did.
She smiled softly, “You know, I have to give it to you. I wouldn’t be able to handle Joseph being gone all the time. Especially with Abby here.”
I gave her a weak smile, “I just got so used to having him around the house. Saying bye never gets easier.” She furrowed her eyebrows, trying to imagine herself in my shoes. “But, I would never want him to do anything else, you know?”
“And that’s how I know that you’re in love with him.” She grinned, eyeing me. I chuckled softly, matching her grin.
We arrived at the baby shower, and said our hellos to everyone. Stephanie was sitting with us chatting when Shannon made her way over to us. She was so much bigger than the last time I had seen her. She sat down on the sofa besides Celina, and let out a sigh. “Jesus, my feet are tired.”
“How’ve you been feeling?” I asked even though the expression on her face read that she was exhausted.
“Okay. I’m just really tired. Eric’s been a saint, though.” She swooned over a man that I have yet to meet. She went on about how great Eric has been and how they have been talking about getting married. She said she loved him and was really excited about the future. Stephanie smiled as Shannon spoke about how in love she was with Eric. I was falling in and out of the conversation as I was texting Mike about how he had arrived at the next venue. “So Lucy, when are you and Mike going to get married or start trying for kids?” Shannon questioned me with a small smirk on her face.
By this point, I was more than done with everyone asking me those questions. I was sick of the pressure that was being put on Mike and I. I laughed it off, a hint of irritation in my tone. “We’re not ready for that right now.”
“Well, when are you gonna be ready? He’s already going to be 30 this year and you’re gonna be 28 in three months.”
“So?”
“So, you and him aren’t getting any younger.” She spat with an ounce of venom in her voice.
“Okay, but if him and I don’t want to do any of that right now, then we don’t. What do mine and Mike’s decisions have to do with you?” I didn’t want to get angry. Not with a hormonal pregnant women who so happens to be my best friend, but I was about to crack. Shannon was the last voice I wanted to hear regarding this topic.
“It has nothing to do with me. I’m just saying, Eric and I are in love and we are talking about getting married.”
“You and this guy Eric, that no one has ever met by the way, are talking about getting married because you are about to have a child from wedlock.” Celina and Steph’s eyes grew wide as they watched Shannon and I go back and forth. I knew that Celina knew I was getting tired of the pressure. She was the only one in my life who hadn’t said something about it.
She eyed me, “All you and Mike are, are selfish people. You two just care about yourselves and your jobs. Open your eyes honey, there’s a whole world out there that you two aren’t seeing.”
I was beyond confused at what she was saying. “What are you even talking about, Shan?”
She wasn’t done with her rant because she didn’t bother answering my question. “If you and Mike are so in love and so perfect like you two make it seem, why won’t you get married?”
“Perfect? Who the fuck said that him and I were perfect?”
“You don’t have to say it. Everyone knows. Sorry we can’t all be like you and Mike and be so perfectly in love and have the perfect lives together.”
“What are you even saying?” I asked again, becoming more than frustrated with her. “Mike and I aren’t perfect! We get into arguments just like everyone else does, we annoy the shit out of each other just like every couple feels; but we don’t fucking display our issues out to the world like you do. We work things out on our own, like couples should do.”
She rolled her eyes, “Whatever, dude. You and him are so fucked.”
I looked at her, feeling more disappointed and defeated than ever. How could my best friend say this to me about me and Mike? I stood up and got my purse, trying to keep my calm about how hurt I felt. “Your gift for you and your baby is on the table. Mike picked it out.” I eyed her, looking at Celina so we could leave. I wasn’t going to make a scene here at her mother’s house. I was just going to leave. Steph stood up along with Celina, grabbing her purse. I walked out of the two-story brick house with my cousin and best friend’s fiancée in tow, and we piled in my car and went to Double Shots.
Cristian and Justin were there, and we told Brandon to meet us there. I sat at the bar, staring at the bottom of the glass that I had just emptied. “I can’t believe she said that to you.” Justin said, his hazel eyes wide.
I sat there, cocking an eyebrow as everyone commented. “She’s been different since Eric came into her life.” Stephanie added, whom was sitting to the right of me.
I nodded slowly, “She has. She’s been so not her. Her attitude is different. That spunky Shannon hasn’t been there since he’s been around. And that’s that no one has even met him! Her cousin told me today that even she hasn’t met him.”
“And how she was going on and on about how in love she was, made me think she wasn’t in love.” Celina said, drinking a glass of water. Brandon walked in soon after, twirling his keys on his finger. He went up and hugged, Celina, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and kissed Stephanie on the lips.
Cristian looked at me, “Didn’t she meet him here?”
I looked at him, “When?”
“That night that we were all here, except Celina and Steph, but remember you had come down after work and then you ran into Mike here?”
Brandon’s eyes went wide, “Oh yeah. That was the third time she ran into him.” He smirked.
“She met him that night? I don’t remember seeing him.” I ingnored Brandon's comment.
“You and Mike had left. He took you back to your grandma’s. She left the bar after you left and then went back to dance and then I saw her with this guy, then she left. And after that, she said she had a boyfriend.”
“So, what happened?” Brandon asked as he sipped on a beer.
Stephanie explained everything that happened at the baby shower to him and he gave me a weird look. “You should have seen how she was looking at me when she told me all of that, though.” I couldn’t shake her facial expression. She was burning her glare into me and it stayed there in my mind.
“How’d she look at you?”
“She looked like she hated me.” I said blankly, frowning.
“She just seemed so angry the second she sat down with us.” Celina added, causing a nod to come from Brandon and him to furrow his eyebrows.
"What happened to her?" Justin questioned to us, that question lingering in the air as no one had the answer.
"Hey baby!" Mike's face lit up as he answered his video chat call.
Seeing his face made me happy, "Hey buggie! How'd the show go?"
"Fucking awesome. I had forgot that this show was sold out." He grinned, adjusting the laptop so I could see him better. "How'd the baby shower go?"
I half-smiled, playng with Ludo as we sat on my bed. "It was interesting I'd say."
He raised an eyebrow, "Why?"
"Shannon like hates me. Well, it seemed like she did anyway."
"Why would she hate you?" He was so confused.
I sighed then explained the conversation that happened between Shannon and I. When I was done, he seemed really mad. "Wow, fuck her."
"Don't say that."
"No, fuck her. She's been such a bitch since she met that dude and I never said anything. I don't care if she is hormonal, she doesn't need to be a fucking cunt to you. Especially about our relationship. That's none of her business. We've never said anything to her about her relationship with this dude that no one knows."
"I know, baby. I know. I tried not to get mad because she's extra sensitive plus all of her family was there so I just got myself out of the situation and left."
His eyebrows were furrowed, "I can't believe she said that to you. I'm really sick of everyone trying to tell us what to do."
I nodded, "I hear ya on that one. I don't see why everyone has to have an opinion on it."
"It's gonna happen. But, they'll have to wait for that." He winked, laughing.
I rolled my eyes, "You're stupid."
He smiled, looking straight at me, "I'm sorry that you had a bad day, princess."
I shook my head, "It wasn't a bad day. Even if it was, you just made it better."
"Don't I always?"
"You always do, buggie. And that's why I love you."
A couple of days passed, and I was sitting around the house with Ludo. I had just cleaned the house and was now looking at the next band that Alt. Press wanted to interview and at the same time, looking at houses that were available. I had a mug of steaming hot coffee sitting beside me on the table, and Ludo was sleeping soundly beside me on his blanket.
The doorbell rang and I got up, not paying much attention to my surroundings and hit my leg on the corner of a table. "Ow! Fuck, man. That always happens." I rubbed my thigh as I walked up to my front door, opening it. My eyes went wide when I was who was standing at my doorstep. "Austin? What are you doing here?"
He cleared his throat then looked at me with sunken eyes, "Can we talk?"
I nodded, almost shaken as if I had seen a ghost. He walked in slowly and walked to the living room, sitting on the love seat couch. I closed the door and went to sit on the long couch that I was previously sitting on. He sat there nervously, his leg shaking. "Are you okay?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"I've just been thinking. A lot actually. I know that you probably hate me, and I get that. I hate me, too. I'm sure Mike hates me. And, I don't blame him." He paused momentarily then began again after taking a breath. "I'm really sorry. I'm the last person to judge on relationships. I haven't even had a good track record, I mean fuck. I'm gonna be 27 and I've already been married and divorced. I think I just got protective because you're my best friend. Believe me, it had nothing to do with what happened last year. He took my best friend away from me and I got mad, I guess." He looked over to me, and I couldn't help but be silent as I looked at him.
He continued talking, "I want Mike to like me as your friend. I never even took the time to ask you how happy he makes you. I mean, I know he does, I can see it on your face. Look Lucy, I'm just really sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me. Hell, I wouldn't forgive me. But, I just need someone like you in my life. I miss my best friend."
I took in a deep breath, wondering what I would do. I forgave Austin a first time for being rude to Mike, and then he did it again. Should I let someone in who doesn't even believe in my happiness?
Notes
Tell me what you think, guys! I'd love to know your thoughts on Shannon's rant on Lucy and Mike, Mike's reaction, and Austin's return :)I hope you enjoy this chapter. I love you guys!
xoxo,
Amber
And also, check out my Jaime story!
@kelseyyy_lee: You're welcome! Thank you for reading xx
12/5/14