Maybe I Could Love You Again
Chapter 6; Old Habits Never Die
Placing three plates on the table, I called upstairs to get my brothers up. I've been attempting to get them up for nearly an hour. I was glad of the peace and quiet but they really needed to get up now. “Alright, I'll just eat your food.” I wandered back into the kitchen, pulling their plates towards me. I heard footsteps running downstairs and through the house.
“You do not touch a man's food.” Mike shouted at me in a joking way. He grabbed his plate heading back towards the stairs.
“Where do you think you're going?” I asked, as Vic joined me at the table. He looked rubbish but then again, if you go out and get drunk, what do you expect?
“I've got food, so back to bed?” I shook my head. He rolled his eyes, plonking himself at the table with me and Vic. I'd love to be able to stay in bed myself but we had work to do. For example, cleaning this god forsaken house up. They've looked after me for far too long, it was my turn to look after them. After breakfast, I got cleaned up while they went to get themselves ready.
The doorbell echoed through the downstairs. Drying my hands I went to answer it. Swinging it open, I was greeted by my best friend. “Morning sunshine, how's my favourite girl doing?”
“I feel like I've been shot still.” I laughed, which hurt. “How's my favourite guy?”
“I thought I was your favourite guy?! Traitor!” called my twin brother. I looked at Jaime who was in stitches.
“Get ready Mikey. Hime, come in. Excuse the mess though.” I smiled, I closed the door behind him. As usual, he flung himself on the couch, making himself at home. I don't understand why he knocked, Jaime Preciado never knocks on my door. He just usually walks in, calling us and makes himself at home.
I finished up in the kitchen. I didn't much like cleaning now. I just wanted to go out and have a bit of fun without needing to worry. But no matter what, I'd be worrying. He was still out there and he was torturing me without even doing anything.
“I say we go out, get some lunch, go to the beach and just be crazy shits again.”
“That sounds like a plan Preciado.” I ruffled his hair, he quickly swatted my hand away. Giving me a look that said 'touch my hair, lose your hands'. After a little longer of getting ready, we set off. I felt uneasy being out, but I couldn't let myself ruin today. The others looked so happy, whereas I looked like I was about to have a physical breakdown.
Every single part of me wanted to go run back home, but that'd mean I was letting him win and I couldn't allow that. I was stronger than that. I know he's around here, lurking, watching my every move. On arrival to the beach, I sat with the stuff while the boys messed around. I didn't feel very comfortable in undressing in front of people. To be out in the open was enough for me.
I felt someone watching me, I kept looking around but couldn't see anyone physically watching me. Maybe I was being too paranoid. Look at me, sat here watching people have fun while I ruin things by feeling sorry for myself. Sighing I decided to take a walk along the beach. The breeze felt good, it seemed to blow away all my problems as I walked.
♠ ♠ ♠
After spending a couple of hours at the beach, we were now sat outside some cafe type place. I've lived here all my life and never knew this place existed. I couldn't stop myself from looking all around me. By we, I mean me and Jaime. My brothers had gone off somewhere. “You seem distracted...” Jaime snapped me from my thoughts.
“Just nerves I guess. I don't know....”
“What's really bothering you?” he asked, taking a sip from his drink.
“I feel lonely Hime, I'm with people but I feel alone.” I sighed, leaning back in my chair. He pulled me into a tight hug, kissing the top of my head.
“I'm here pumpkin.” I couldn't help but smile when he called me that. He hadn't called me that since we finished high school. I gently pulled away from him, staring directly into his eyes. I don't know what made me do it, but I leant forward kissing him. Straight away he kissed me back.
After a few minutes we pulled away from each other. I quickly went to stand up, but he stopped me. “Hey, don't leave.”
“I've just messed things up, I'm sorry.”
“You want the truth? Since you and Tony broke up, I've wanted you. Hell I wanted you in high school.” He quickly said, I only just caught the words because he was talking so fast. I gave him a questioning look. “You may be broken, but it never changed the way I felt you know?”
I gave him a smile, a wide set smile. Something I hadn't done since he came back. We talked a while longer, we decided to live while we both have a chance, but we also had to keep it under wraps. With the tour coming up we couldn't risk anything getting in the way. But something at the back of mind was screaming at me.
♠ ♠ ♠
After dropping Jaime at home, me and my brothers headed back. I was worn out and needed my bed. “Congrats on you and Hime sweetheart.” Vic spoke, looking at me through the mirror. What? How did he know?
“We were watching you the whole time. You two are just too cute!” exclaimed Mike. I rolled my eyes at them. How typical of them. Inside I was grinning, I knew they'd have no problem accepting it because well, Jaime's been around for as long as I can remember.
There was just one thing; if they knew, he'd know. If he knew, he'd make me suffer for it. I was his, or so he thought. He wouldn't let anyone else have me. He made that one clear when he visited me in hospital. Yes he came to see me, I have no idea how he got pass the police.
At home, I led down on the sofa, flicking through the channels I was beginning to get restless. Too many thoughts were swimming in my mind. But I couldn't shake them, I was beginning to get scared. My legs were shifted, my twin brother sat down, placing two glasses on the table. Pouring some alcohol he passed me one, drinking his in one go.
“Thanks Mikey...” I mumbled, drinking mine. The burning sensation it gave me felt good. He poured another, then another and another. He just kept pouring them as we drank and watched crap television. Nothing ever needed to be said between us, he was down and so was I and we both knew it. This is how we dealt with it, sit in silence and drink.
I heard Vic say a night. I could tell he wasn't happy with us but I also know he knew better than to argue with us. He knows that we both have our bad days. Hell you don't go through torture and abuse without having any effects from it. I sat up, swinging my legs from my brothers lap. “Spill...” I muttered, grabbing the bottle and drinking from it before passing it him.
“That night is haunting me again. You?” he replied, doing exactly what I did.
“Everything. Questions and no answers.” He nodded slightly. He stood up and got something from the cupboard. I knew what it was straight away, I was shocked to say the least that the one person who tried to prevent me from ruining my life with drugs was using them himself. Okay, I know he smokes a lot of pot, but that's different.
Without even thinking I took a line as did he. Instantly drowning it with a mouthful of whiskey each. Flopping back on the couch, everything seemed to fade. My head slowly moved to the side as I looked at my younger brother, shifting over I wrapped my arms around him hugging him tight.
What did he do to deserve to have his life ruined? At that thought, I set up two more lines and two more shots. We repeated this about 4 more times before darkness consumed us both.
Only we didn't know just how much trouble we were both in for.
“You do not touch a man's food.” Mike shouted at me in a joking way. He grabbed his plate heading back towards the stairs.
“Where do you think you're going?” I asked, as Vic joined me at the table. He looked rubbish but then again, if you go out and get drunk, what do you expect?
“I've got food, so back to bed?” I shook my head. He rolled his eyes, plonking himself at the table with me and Vic. I'd love to be able to stay in bed myself but we had work to do. For example, cleaning this god forsaken house up. They've looked after me for far too long, it was my turn to look after them. After breakfast, I got cleaned up while they went to get themselves ready.
The doorbell echoed through the downstairs. Drying my hands I went to answer it. Swinging it open, I was greeted by my best friend. “Morning sunshine, how's my favourite girl doing?”
“I feel like I've been shot still.” I laughed, which hurt. “How's my favourite guy?”
“I thought I was your favourite guy?! Traitor!” called my twin brother. I looked at Jaime who was in stitches.
“Get ready Mikey. Hime, come in. Excuse the mess though.” I smiled, I closed the door behind him. As usual, he flung himself on the couch, making himself at home. I don't understand why he knocked, Jaime Preciado never knocks on my door. He just usually walks in, calling us and makes himself at home.
I finished up in the kitchen. I didn't much like cleaning now. I just wanted to go out and have a bit of fun without needing to worry. But no matter what, I'd be worrying. He was still out there and he was torturing me without even doing anything.
“I say we go out, get some lunch, go to the beach and just be crazy shits again.”
“That sounds like a plan Preciado.” I ruffled his hair, he quickly swatted my hand away. Giving me a look that said 'touch my hair, lose your hands'. After a little longer of getting ready, we set off. I felt uneasy being out, but I couldn't let myself ruin today. The others looked so happy, whereas I looked like I was about to have a physical breakdown.
Every single part of me wanted to go run back home, but that'd mean I was letting him win and I couldn't allow that. I was stronger than that. I know he's around here, lurking, watching my every move. On arrival to the beach, I sat with the stuff while the boys messed around. I didn't feel very comfortable in undressing in front of people. To be out in the open was enough for me.
I felt someone watching me, I kept looking around but couldn't see anyone physically watching me. Maybe I was being too paranoid. Look at me, sat here watching people have fun while I ruin things by feeling sorry for myself. Sighing I decided to take a walk along the beach. The breeze felt good, it seemed to blow away all my problems as I walked.
♠ ♠ ♠
After spending a couple of hours at the beach, we were now sat outside some cafe type place. I've lived here all my life and never knew this place existed. I couldn't stop myself from looking all around me. By we, I mean me and Jaime. My brothers had gone off somewhere. “You seem distracted...” Jaime snapped me from my thoughts.
“Just nerves I guess. I don't know....”
“What's really bothering you?” he asked, taking a sip from his drink.
“I feel lonely Hime, I'm with people but I feel alone.” I sighed, leaning back in my chair. He pulled me into a tight hug, kissing the top of my head.
“I'm here pumpkin.” I couldn't help but smile when he called me that. He hadn't called me that since we finished high school. I gently pulled away from him, staring directly into his eyes. I don't know what made me do it, but I leant forward kissing him. Straight away he kissed me back.
After a few minutes we pulled away from each other. I quickly went to stand up, but he stopped me. “Hey, don't leave.”
“I've just messed things up, I'm sorry.”
“You want the truth? Since you and Tony broke up, I've wanted you. Hell I wanted you in high school.” He quickly said, I only just caught the words because he was talking so fast. I gave him a questioning look. “You may be broken, but it never changed the way I felt you know?”
I gave him a smile, a wide set smile. Something I hadn't done since he came back. We talked a while longer, we decided to live while we both have a chance, but we also had to keep it under wraps. With the tour coming up we couldn't risk anything getting in the way. But something at the back of mind was screaming at me.
♠ ♠ ♠
After dropping Jaime at home, me and my brothers headed back. I was worn out and needed my bed. “Congrats on you and Hime sweetheart.” Vic spoke, looking at me through the mirror. What? How did he know?
“We were watching you the whole time. You two are just too cute!” exclaimed Mike. I rolled my eyes at them. How typical of them. Inside I was grinning, I knew they'd have no problem accepting it because well, Jaime's been around for as long as I can remember.
There was just one thing; if they knew, he'd know. If he knew, he'd make me suffer for it. I was his, or so he thought. He wouldn't let anyone else have me. He made that one clear when he visited me in hospital. Yes he came to see me, I have no idea how he got pass the police.
At home, I led down on the sofa, flicking through the channels I was beginning to get restless. Too many thoughts were swimming in my mind. But I couldn't shake them, I was beginning to get scared. My legs were shifted, my twin brother sat down, placing two glasses on the table. Pouring some alcohol he passed me one, drinking his in one go.
“Thanks Mikey...” I mumbled, drinking mine. The burning sensation it gave me felt good. He poured another, then another and another. He just kept pouring them as we drank and watched crap television. Nothing ever needed to be said between us, he was down and so was I and we both knew it. This is how we dealt with it, sit in silence and drink.
I heard Vic say a night. I could tell he wasn't happy with us but I also know he knew better than to argue with us. He knows that we both have our bad days. Hell you don't go through torture and abuse without having any effects from it. I sat up, swinging my legs from my brothers lap. “Spill...” I muttered, grabbing the bottle and drinking from it before passing it him.
“That night is haunting me again. You?” he replied, doing exactly what I did.
“Everything. Questions and no answers.” He nodded slightly. He stood up and got something from the cupboard. I knew what it was straight away, I was shocked to say the least that the one person who tried to prevent me from ruining my life with drugs was using them himself. Okay, I know he smokes a lot of pot, but that's different.
Without even thinking I took a line as did he. Instantly drowning it with a mouthful of whiskey each. Flopping back on the couch, everything seemed to fade. My head slowly moved to the side as I looked at my younger brother, shifting over I wrapped my arms around him hugging him tight.
What did he do to deserve to have his life ruined? At that thought, I set up two more lines and two more shots. We repeated this about 4 more times before darkness consumed us both.
Only we didn't know just how much trouble we were both in for.
1/11/14