Maybe I Could Love You Again
Chapter 10: Don't Blame This On Me
Refusing to go back to my hospital room, I stayed with Jaime and Mike. I had to know, I had to know if Vic was okay. I looked around, watching the doctors and nurses run around looking after people. “Victor Fuentes?” My head snapped to in front of me, Mike and Jaime stood up quickly.
“How is he?” Mike asked, I could tell by his voice that he was ready to cry again.
“He's out of surgery but he's not out the danger zone, the next 24 hours are touch and go.” he stated. My head span as he spoke even more. I couldn't hear him, the buzzing in my ears made it difficult. I felt someone beginning to push the wheelchair, I didn't even look. I couldn't focus. I couldn't lose my brother, not the person who's helped me so much. Not Vic. “In you go Claire.” Mike was stood at the side of me.
“This is your fault.” I said as anger began to fuel me as I saw Vic through the window.
“Claire!” Jaime practically shouted at me. I looked up at Mike who was now staring at me, with disbelief smothering his face.
“You couldn't just let me die could you?” My voice got louder.
“Cla-- I...I'm sorry.” His head bowed. Jaime was shaking his head at me.
“If he doesn't wake up, you'll be dead to me.” I spat. “Hime, take me in baby.” He took me inside and went back out. I looked back, Mike was in his arms, I couldn't tell by the way he was moving that he was sobbing. I turned my attention to the boy in the bed. I slowly got myself out the wheelchair. There was just enough room on the bed for me to sit, so I climbed up, sitting myself on it.
I didn't say anything; I just held his hand. I didn't know what to say. He looked lifeless, helpless and there was nothing I could do to save him. The tears silently fell as I found the voice to speak. “You don't need to change the world you idiot, you're not invincible Vic. This is a dangerous game, don't play it. Just wake yourself up, come back home then we can go on tour. We're already late so hurry up.”
I held onto his hand tighter as I tried to keep the sobs down. “Please I need you. Think of the family, your friends and your fans who are still around even after all this time.”
Mike had now entered the room. Yes I was blaming him, if he'd of just let me die then this wouldn't of happened. He couldn't just let me leave. They both just had to be super heroes. Trying to save the world, this is something I can't be saved from. “I want Hime.” I muttered.
“He's not fam--”
“Don't you dare Mike, he's practically family now get him in here now!” I half shouted at him. Jaime came in, looking at something in his hands. I took it from him, looking at it.
Laying on the grass, I looked to my left too see Tony smiling at me. “You're so beautiful.” he whispered. I shook my head, smiling at him. Our perfect moment was ruined by my brothers and my best friend jumping on us all.
“So summer is almost over, you know what that means?” We all nodded, while Vic took the camera out the bag he had with him. He set it up. “30 second timer, so get ready.” We all led on our front's, Jaime to my right, Tony to my left. Mike led down beside Jaime and Vic ran and led down by Tony I heard a high five taking place, two sets of lips on my cheeks, a big grin on my face as the camera flashed.
“Perfect end to the summer.” I whispered. A small smile playing on my lips as I remembered the day as if it happened yesterday. Months before everything went wrong. What really made him change? It wasn't a build up, it was a sudden change. I leant the picture up against something next to Vic's bed. Taking hold of his hand once again, giving it a squeeze.
I sat there in silence, Mike and Jaime soon leaving but I couldn't. I couldn't just leave him alone here. He needed someone, he needed help right now and I was going to do it. Even if it meant doing it alone. A small knock on the door startled me, I saw a nurse stood there with Tony who was also in a wheelchair. I told the nurse to leave, and my attention returned back to my brother.
“I didn't do that to him.” Tony's voice spoke up, cracking ever so slightly.
“Don't lie to me. Alex was left for dead.” I said, only loud enough for him to just about hear me.
“Claire, please believe me when I say I didn't. I told him to run, Alex pulled the trigger. Vic shot me first, stupid idiot apologised to me.” He was nearly sobbing his heart out as he spoke. I really wanted to believe him but I couldn't. He's put me through hell and now he's saying he tried to help Vic. No I don't believe a word of it.
“What did I ever do wrong?” I turned to face him, my hand not leaving Vic's.
“Nothing. You never did anything wrong beautiful. I promise.”
“Don't make promises you can't keep.” I snapped, making him flinch. I told him to leave, I couldn't do it. I couldn't talk to him now he has awake. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now. The nurse came back and removed him from the room. I gently took my hand from my brothers and reached for the sharpest object I could find.
I needed a fix. Something to make it all go away.
“What are you looking for?” I slammed the drawer shut.
“N-nothing.” I turned to see my twin stood there.
Please leave. He came over to me, wrapping his arms round me. I didn't hug back, I just stood there. Frozen. He stroked my hair, gently rocking us. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.” he kept whispering.
I know, but you let me live. I can't forgive you for that.
My arms slowly made their way round my brother. I held onto him for dear life, wanting nothing more than things to go back the way they were. The days when we were all friends, the days when everything went perfectly wrong but so right at the same time.
I want my old life back. I was taken back to my room, despite all my protests. I didn't want to be left alone. I wanted to be in there with Vic making sure he was going to wake up. “If there's any changes we'll let you know.” The nurse stated before walking out and leaving me alone. I glanced to room to my right, in it was Tony. He offered a small smile, which I ignored and faced the other way.
“Claire can we talk?” Jaime's voice startling me. I nodded and he sat beside me. “Look, don't be blaming Mike. Non of this is any of your faul--”
“Stop. Just stop. If he would of let me die this would of been alright!” I shouted. I felt bad but it was the truth. He pulled me closer and into a hug as another set of tears started. His hand rubbing my back, my body began to shake as the tears cascaded down my face.
“Come on baby, don't cry.” He pulled away, looking at my tear stained face. “You know I love you right?” I nodded. He led down beside me, one arm draped over me. I let the tears slip out silently. I soon heard faint snores coming from beside me. I decided I'd let myself sleep.
***
Waking up, I soon realised I was alone once again. I sat myself up a bit, hoping that I'd have some good news today. Unfortunately, no such luck as yet. I looked down at the food that was placed on the beside table. My stomach turned as I looked at it. I didn't feel much like eating, I didn't feel much like doing anything right now.
“Coffee?” I heard my twin say. I shook my head and continued to stare out the window. “Things are tough, but we'll get through it.”
“I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. This isn't your fault.” I felt the lump in my throat return. How many tears can someone possibly use? I felt him sit on the edge of the bed. “Any news?”
“Not yet, he's still the same.” His hand went on mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze. I didn't need reassurance. I just needed him to wake up and be normal again. Was that really just a bit too much to ask? He helped me off the bed, into a wheelchair. He took me for a walk, then outside. The breeze felt nice.
“Have you got any smokes?” I asked, loving the feeling of the breeze rushing around me. He handed me one, without a second thought I lit it, inhaling deep and throwing my head back at the pleasure of being able to smoke again. The smoke burning my throat as I took another deep drag. My thoughts wandered off to Tony. What would happen to him? He's going back to prison, without a doubt.
What did he mean by his message?
“How is he?” Mike asked, I could tell by his voice that he was ready to cry again.
“He's out of surgery but he's not out the danger zone, the next 24 hours are touch and go.” he stated. My head span as he spoke even more. I couldn't hear him, the buzzing in my ears made it difficult. I felt someone beginning to push the wheelchair, I didn't even look. I couldn't focus. I couldn't lose my brother, not the person who's helped me so much. Not Vic. “In you go Claire.” Mike was stood at the side of me.
“This is your fault.” I said as anger began to fuel me as I saw Vic through the window.
“Claire!” Jaime practically shouted at me. I looked up at Mike who was now staring at me, with disbelief smothering his face.
“You couldn't just let me die could you?” My voice got louder.
“Cla-- I...I'm sorry.” His head bowed. Jaime was shaking his head at me.
“If he doesn't wake up, you'll be dead to me.” I spat. “Hime, take me in baby.” He took me inside and went back out. I looked back, Mike was in his arms, I couldn't tell by the way he was moving that he was sobbing. I turned my attention to the boy in the bed. I slowly got myself out the wheelchair. There was just enough room on the bed for me to sit, so I climbed up, sitting myself on it.
I didn't say anything; I just held his hand. I didn't know what to say. He looked lifeless, helpless and there was nothing I could do to save him. The tears silently fell as I found the voice to speak. “You don't need to change the world you idiot, you're not invincible Vic. This is a dangerous game, don't play it. Just wake yourself up, come back home then we can go on tour. We're already late so hurry up.”
I held onto his hand tighter as I tried to keep the sobs down. “Please I need you. Think of the family, your friends and your fans who are still around even after all this time.”
Mike had now entered the room. Yes I was blaming him, if he'd of just let me die then this wouldn't of happened. He couldn't just let me leave. They both just had to be super heroes. Trying to save the world, this is something I can't be saved from. “I want Hime.” I muttered.
“He's not fam--”
“Don't you dare Mike, he's practically family now get him in here now!” I half shouted at him. Jaime came in, looking at something in his hands. I took it from him, looking at it.
Laying on the grass, I looked to my left too see Tony smiling at me. “You're so beautiful.” he whispered. I shook my head, smiling at him. Our perfect moment was ruined by my brothers and my best friend jumping on us all.
“So summer is almost over, you know what that means?” We all nodded, while Vic took the camera out the bag he had with him. He set it up. “30 second timer, so get ready.” We all led on our front's, Jaime to my right, Tony to my left. Mike led down beside Jaime and Vic ran and led down by Tony I heard a high five taking place, two sets of lips on my cheeks, a big grin on my face as the camera flashed.
“Perfect end to the summer.” I whispered. A small smile playing on my lips as I remembered the day as if it happened yesterday. Months before everything went wrong. What really made him change? It wasn't a build up, it was a sudden change. I leant the picture up against something next to Vic's bed. Taking hold of his hand once again, giving it a squeeze.
I sat there in silence, Mike and Jaime soon leaving but I couldn't. I couldn't just leave him alone here. He needed someone, he needed help right now and I was going to do it. Even if it meant doing it alone. A small knock on the door startled me, I saw a nurse stood there with Tony who was also in a wheelchair. I told the nurse to leave, and my attention returned back to my brother.
“I didn't do that to him.” Tony's voice spoke up, cracking ever so slightly.
“Don't lie to me. Alex was left for dead.” I said, only loud enough for him to just about hear me.
“Claire, please believe me when I say I didn't. I told him to run, Alex pulled the trigger. Vic shot me first, stupid idiot apologised to me.” He was nearly sobbing his heart out as he spoke. I really wanted to believe him but I couldn't. He's put me through hell and now he's saying he tried to help Vic. No I don't believe a word of it.
“What did I ever do wrong?” I turned to face him, my hand not leaving Vic's.
“Nothing. You never did anything wrong beautiful. I promise.”
“Don't make promises you can't keep.” I snapped, making him flinch. I told him to leave, I couldn't do it. I couldn't talk to him now he has awake. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now. The nurse came back and removed him from the room. I gently took my hand from my brothers and reached for the sharpest object I could find.
I needed a fix. Something to make it all go away.
“What are you looking for?” I slammed the drawer shut.
“N-nothing.” I turned to see my twin stood there.
Please leave. He came over to me, wrapping his arms round me. I didn't hug back, I just stood there. Frozen. He stroked my hair, gently rocking us. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.” he kept whispering.
I know, but you let me live. I can't forgive you for that.
My arms slowly made their way round my brother. I held onto him for dear life, wanting nothing more than things to go back the way they were. The days when we were all friends, the days when everything went perfectly wrong but so right at the same time.
I want my old life back. I was taken back to my room, despite all my protests. I didn't want to be left alone. I wanted to be in there with Vic making sure he was going to wake up. “If there's any changes we'll let you know.” The nurse stated before walking out and leaving me alone. I glanced to room to my right, in it was Tony. He offered a small smile, which I ignored and faced the other way.
“Claire can we talk?” Jaime's voice startling me. I nodded and he sat beside me. “Look, don't be blaming Mike. Non of this is any of your faul--”
“Stop. Just stop. If he would of let me die this would of been alright!” I shouted. I felt bad but it was the truth. He pulled me closer and into a hug as another set of tears started. His hand rubbing my back, my body began to shake as the tears cascaded down my face.
“Come on baby, don't cry.” He pulled away, looking at my tear stained face. “You know I love you right?” I nodded. He led down beside me, one arm draped over me. I let the tears slip out silently. I soon heard faint snores coming from beside me. I decided I'd let myself sleep.
***
Waking up, I soon realised I was alone once again. I sat myself up a bit, hoping that I'd have some good news today. Unfortunately, no such luck as yet. I looked down at the food that was placed on the beside table. My stomach turned as I looked at it. I didn't feel much like eating, I didn't feel much like doing anything right now.
“Coffee?” I heard my twin say. I shook my head and continued to stare out the window. “Things are tough, but we'll get through it.”
“I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. This isn't your fault.” I felt the lump in my throat return. How many tears can someone possibly use? I felt him sit on the edge of the bed. “Any news?”
“Not yet, he's still the same.” His hand went on mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze. I didn't need reassurance. I just needed him to wake up and be normal again. Was that really just a bit too much to ask? He helped me off the bed, into a wheelchair. He took me for a walk, then outside. The breeze felt nice.
“Have you got any smokes?” I asked, loving the feeling of the breeze rushing around me. He handed me one, without a second thought I lit it, inhaling deep and throwing my head back at the pleasure of being able to smoke again. The smoke burning my throat as I took another deep drag. My thoughts wandered off to Tony. What would happen to him? He's going back to prison, without a doubt.
What did he mean by his message?
1/11/14