Waking up to the blinding light, I held my head as it pounded. I was led on the floor, surrounded by my stuff. It must of been a wild one, I ached all over. My bedroom door was open & Vic was stood in the doorway looking down at me. He soon left, disappointment in his face.

I had been clean from self-harm, drugs & drink for just over 2 weeks. But I went ahead & ruined it. I did not care in the slightest. When I walk downstairs, I'll be lectured about it, no doubt they'e called our parents & told them. Heaving myself off the floor, I wandered down to the bathroom.

Freshening myself up, I threw on some make-up & headed back to my room. I wasn't making an effort today with my outfit. I wanted to see if last night with Tony was just a 'phase'. Heading downstairs both Mike & Vic were stood in front the fire. Staring at me, arms folded across their chests. "Sit, we need to talk."

"We have to go to school." I replied to Mike.

"School can wait." Vic said, visible annoyance in his voice. For god sake, I flopped onto the sofa. "Claire, we're only saying this because we care." I rolled my eyes, it was my life. I'm not hurting anyone by this. I'm not making them cause self-destruction am I? "But you need to stop this again. 2 weeks for nothing."

"It wasn't for nothing." I huffed, getting up. The look on his face made me sit back down. He wanted an explanation & I wasn't going to give them one. They didn't need to know about my pathetic life, or my relationship problems. Why were they so bothered? "Tony..."

"What did he do? I'll beat his ass for you Claire." Mike chirped up.

"Nothing. Don't please, he was just tired." I lied. Please believe me, oh dear god please let them believe me. They studied me a bit longer, then believed me. Oh thank god. "Now can I go to school?" Vic nodded his head & both me & Mike left. We weren't late despite setting off late, Tony was stood at the school dates, his usual smile plastered on his face. Well that's certainly a change to last night.

"Text me if you need me." Mike said before kissing my cheek & heading off to his group of friends. Tony made a run at me, picking me up & swinging me round. His happiness evident. Why was he so confusing? Last night, was that all about?

***

We walked through the school, Tony with his arm around the bottom of my back as we walked. "You know, we need some more time alone." he whispered.

"Yeah..." I mumbled. My thoughts were stuck on last night, he ignored me all night. Didn't even realise I was gone & now he's like this? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's acknowledging me now but it's not my point.

"What's wrong?" he stopped, turning me to face him. I put on a massive smile & kissed him softly. That was my way of saying nothing. He pouted at me before grabbing my hand & leading me into the canteen. It was full of it's usual buzz. I sat myself down in our usual seat while he headed off to get our lunch. He'd left his phone. Now I know this is wrong but I started looking through it.

There was nothing at all from it from last night. What the hell? This was making me worse. He was cheating on me. I was right, I wasn't good enough anymore. He hates me, he wants a better person. Who would want someone like me anyway? I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm a pathetic excuse for a human being. I wasn't going to question him though.

"Soo baby, you have a choice of three things. Pizza & chips, just chips or just pizza." he grinned down at me. On the other plate was his food. Damn you for being a vegetarian Tony Perry. "Hey, don't bully me." Shit, did I say that out loud?

"Sorry honey bunch..." I joked. He hated when I called him that. That's the name I use for my close friends. I didn't have many of them. In fact I had 1. Jaime Preciado. I missed him though, he was currently on vacation in the UK with his parents. He'd been gone a month already. I prayed he'd be back in time for prom. After all, he did promise me a dance.

"Listen, clear your diary for this weekend..." his voice snapped me from my thoughts, stuffing food into his mouth. "..I've made us plans."

"What plans? Tony you know I'm going to visit family this weekend." I put my piece of pizza down on my plate. He nodded. What were you up to?

"I know, but while you're there don't make plans ok?" He swallowed his food & smiled the most adorable smile at me. I couldn't help but laugh a little. Well I say laugh, more like a girly giggle. That was one thing I never did often. We were sat laughing & joking when Mike came over.

"Sorry to intrude on your lovey dovey shit, but I'm gagging for a smoke so come on." Tony looked at me, I gave him an apologetic look & headed off outside with Mike. I was suppose to be giving up but I never really wanted to. I enjoyed it. "So you & Tony are good yeah?"

"Mikey, don't. But yes we are thank you very much." I smiled as I lit my cigarette. "He was tired last night, he had fallen asleep. I got upset, you know me."

"Yes I do & I also know that is a pack of lies." I couldn't help but laugh at him. Damn you for being my twin. "We're not twins for no reason you know."

"Sometimes it'd be easier." I joked, he did an over dramatic gasp, pretending to look hurt. "Sorry bro, the way it is."

"You are hurtful sometimes." he stuck his tongue out before heading back inside. I finished up my smoke & followed him. I was soon reunited with Tony, who didn't look as happy as before. Mood swings or what. I sat beside him & he leaned in closer, placing one single rough kiss on my neck.

"We are in school Cesar Antonio Soto Perry" I playfully hit his arm.

"Claire Felicia-Regina Fuentes, te odio." Oh I forgot about that, he knew my full name. I hated it, but apparently it was a beautiful name. I got the odd one. How typical, the only girl gets the weird name.

***

"Claire Felicia-Regina Fuentes, prisa de una puta vez antes de que llegamos tarde." shouted Vic from downstairs.

"Mike what did he say?" I pretended to not know. I didn't want to go, my family hated me.

"He called you a douche & said that you are a short ass who can't kill a fly." he went along with it. He knew. He actually told me to hurry the fuck up before we're late but I always did this when he used my full name & spanish in the same sentence.

"Oh it is on Victor Vincent Fuentes." I yelled. I could almost see the confusion on his face. I ran out of my room & downstairs before jumping on his back. He ran around, jumping up & down trying to get me on. My grip getting tighter. He sat down on the couch & on me. His arms reaching round to tickle me.

"S-s-stop tickling me!!" I screamed out, through the laughter. I couldn't control myself the tears were streaming down my face as he refused to let me go. I didn't even hear the door bell ring or anything, when my eyes opened for a spilt second it was Tony's face I was greeted with. "Babyy!!" I jumped up & hugged him tight.

"Surprise." he grinned, pulling me closer to him. Wait, why was Tony here? Tony wasn't family. I mouthed over to Mike. 'He's meeting the fam of course' was his reply. A smile reappeared on my face. After a year I was finally allowed to show off the boy I love to my family.

***

"Michael, stop now!" Vic shouted as the speed picked up. Vic was angry, I had no idea why. I had just woken up from a nap in the car. Then I realised. He was smoking in the car. This was Vic's care & smoking was not allowed under any circumstances. He slammed the breaks on in the middle of the road, and pulled over.

"What the hell is your problem?" I could sense an argument brewing. I unbuckled my seatbelt (not safe I know) slapping both of their heads. "Ouch..." both of them whined.

"Get out the car right now if you want to smoke. Might as well take a break, seeing how I now need one thanks to you." I scoffed. Seriously though, I could feel Tony's disapproval look burn into me. "Zip it you, I don't need a lecture."

After 30 minutes we set off driving again. I put my head in Tony's lap & looked up at him as he was looking down at me. Nothing was said, we just sort of looked & smiled. How did I ever get so lucky? If you'd of asked me a year & half ago what I would be doing now? I'd of told you I would of been dead.

It was true, I didn't want to live. But now I had a reason to. You might say that I had Mike & Vic & Jaime but they would of been better off without me. I wasn't me. Who I am now is me. A happy, bubbly girl. Not some depressed, washed out 'freak'. "I'm taking you for your first tattoo."

"What?!" both me & Vic said at the same time. My first tattoo? With Tony? "No, you're not having one." Vic stated.

"Oh zip it you. Just drive & concentrate on the road." I laughed at his stern voice. He looked at me through the mirror. A soft smile on his lips. We soon arrived at my grandparents house. I raced out the car & inside.

"Hay alguien en casa?" I called through the house. My abuelita came bounding out the kitchen, sweeping me into a tight hug.

"I missed you!" I whispered. I could feel the emotion inside me. I hadn't seen her in nearly 6 months since they moved.

"I missed you too chica" she grinned as she put me down. By now Tony, Mike & Vic had joined us. She hugged Mike & Vic before looking at Tony. Raising an eyebrow. A smile spread across my face.

"This is Tony. My boyfriend." I grinned, taking hold of his hand. After the introductions, after food me & Tony were sat on the sofa watching television. "I love you Tone"

"I love you too...." he paused for a second. "Forever & always."

Forever & always. I really hope so