I Still Think You're Beautiful and I Don't Ever Want to Lose My Best Friend
What's Good About Picking Up the Pieces?
Anna's POV
I'm so confused! I thought I had feelings for Vic, he's been there through everything with me and I don't know how I would be able to breathe without him, then again it's been exactly a month since I've actually gotten a response of any kind from him.
I've spent almost every available waking hour with the guys helping them with band stuff and just general hanging out... again with the exception of Vic that is. I'm getting tired of this shit, it's also been a month since I started self-harming again and not eating.
We were sitting in the Fuentes' back yard in a big circle at the moment.
"That's it! I can't take this anymore," I exploded suddenly and the guys jumped at my biggest display of emotion in a month. I stormed into the house without a word to them leaving them confused.
I had my mind made up, I am going to talk to Vic and find out why the fuck he is ignoring me. I ran up the stairs and knocked on his door, I had to at least be polite.
"Mike, I'm not coming down, so don't even bother." Vic said sounding a little annoyed but more broken than anything.
"Fine, then I'm coming in," I said while holding my breath and picking at the sleeve of the Drop Dead sweater I had borrowed from Tony since it was getting a little chilly out after the sun had gone down. I slowly opened his door and walked in to sit at the foot of his bed.
Vic looked completely depressed, but then I thought of what I must have looked like to him, I wasn't wearing any make up and I've lost a ton of weight, thankfully the fresh scars on my arms weren't visible, that would have just made things worse.
"I need to talk to you Vic, please?" I asked looking up at him from where I was sitting. He just nodded, I sighed exasperated.
"Why?" I asked trying not to break down in front of him like I had so many times in the past.
"Well, er, you and Tony were- are," I saw a flash of jealousy in his eyes as he looked down at what I was wearing as if to prove some point, "going out-" I was infuriated.
"Excuse me?!" I am about to snap I could feel it! "YOU HAVE IGNORED ME FOR A WHOLE MONTH BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT THAT TONY AND I WERE GOING OUT?! IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE TELLING ME RIGHT NOW?" I could not believe that I'm hearing this right now I pushed up my sleeves and tried not to hit him. Vic looked surprised at my outburst.
"Well, aren't you?" he asked seeming confused.
"No! Tony kissed me once and not once since then, I was stupid enough to be in love with you!"
"What? No, but Tony said to ask you-"
"That is exactly what you should have done Victor," I said losing all my anger and having only disappointment left, "you should have asked, did you ever bother to ask anyone if Tony and I were going out?" I asked feeling completely broken.
"No, but please, can we just try to fix this? Please?" He said with tears in his eyes.
"I dunno Vic, what's so good about picking up the pieces? Maybe I don't want to, maybe I should give Tony a chance since he's so nice to me and there for me and not too afraid to ask a fucking question." That's when I broke down. Vic came over and put his arms around me, he could tell I wasn't serious about giving Tony a chance at this point. He looked down at my arms.
"Are those because of me?" He asked sounding like he was about to cry as well.
"No, they're there because I gave in, because I didn't have anyone to stop me, but they're not because of you, I promise you that." I squirmed out of his arms and walked down the stairs to say goodbye to the rest of the guys.
"I'm so sorry Annabear, we tried to get him to talk to you, he didn't want to believe what we said, he thought we were just trying to make him feel better," Mike was trying to soothe me, all the guys were looking at me with the same apologetic smile, including Tony, I think he had gotten the message that I love him and the rest of the guys, but I was in love with Vic.
" I know you don't want to hear this right now," Mike continued, " we kinda wanted it to be a surprise but we have our first actual gig next week, and we all want you to be there." The guys all nodded in agreement. Tony spoke up.
"I know you won't want to be there because of Vic, but we love you too, and we want you to be there.
"Of course I'll be there, I love you guys! And as much as I may hate to admit it right now, I love Vic too. And I think you guys deserve an explanation, so here it goes he wouldn't even speak to me because he thought that Tony and I were dating, he just assumed the worst. I don't know if I can handle that happening to me again." I said while playing with my sleeves, realizing 5 seconds too late that my cuts were visible.
"This is his fault, I'll kill him!" Mike said almost in tears while Jaime was in tears and Tony looked like he felt like it was his fault.
"No, mike, it's not his fault, it's not even worth it I promise, I'm fine. I'll see you guys at the show next week, text me okay?" I said to all of them giving them hugs and started leaving.
For the first time in a month I put in my earphones and listened to music, Vic was talking to me again, I feel somewhat happy.
Vic's POV
I fucked up unbelievably badly, it was all my fault for never asking a simple fucking question. I need to write... and I did with Anna's words ringing in my ears, "what's so good about picking up the pieces...what if I don't want to?" (A/N link in the notes for Caraphernelia by PTV)
I'm so confused! I thought I had feelings for Vic, he's been there through everything with me and I don't know how I would be able to breathe without him, then again it's been exactly a month since I've actually gotten a response of any kind from him.
I've spent almost every available waking hour with the guys helping them with band stuff and just general hanging out... again with the exception of Vic that is. I'm getting tired of this shit, it's also been a month since I started self-harming again and not eating.
We were sitting in the Fuentes' back yard in a big circle at the moment.
"That's it! I can't take this anymore," I exploded suddenly and the guys jumped at my biggest display of emotion in a month. I stormed into the house without a word to them leaving them confused.
I had my mind made up, I am going to talk to Vic and find out why the fuck he is ignoring me. I ran up the stairs and knocked on his door, I had to at least be polite.
"Mike, I'm not coming down, so don't even bother." Vic said sounding a little annoyed but more broken than anything.
"Fine, then I'm coming in," I said while holding my breath and picking at the sleeve of the Drop Dead sweater I had borrowed from Tony since it was getting a little chilly out after the sun had gone down. I slowly opened his door and walked in to sit at the foot of his bed.
Vic looked completely depressed, but then I thought of what I must have looked like to him, I wasn't wearing any make up and I've lost a ton of weight, thankfully the fresh scars on my arms weren't visible, that would have just made things worse.
"I need to talk to you Vic, please?" I asked looking up at him from where I was sitting. He just nodded, I sighed exasperated.
"Why?" I asked trying not to break down in front of him like I had so many times in the past.
"Well, er, you and Tony were- are," I saw a flash of jealousy in his eyes as he looked down at what I was wearing as if to prove some point, "going out-" I was infuriated.
"Excuse me?!" I am about to snap I could feel it! "YOU HAVE IGNORED ME FOR A WHOLE MONTH BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT THAT TONY AND I WERE GOING OUT?! IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE TELLING ME RIGHT NOW?" I could not believe that I'm hearing this right now I pushed up my sleeves and tried not to hit him. Vic looked surprised at my outburst.
"Well, aren't you?" he asked seeming confused.
"No! Tony kissed me once and not once since then, I was stupid enough to be in love with you!"
"What? No, but Tony said to ask you-"
"That is exactly what you should have done Victor," I said losing all my anger and having only disappointment left, "you should have asked, did you ever bother to ask anyone if Tony and I were going out?" I asked feeling completely broken.
"No, but please, can we just try to fix this? Please?" He said with tears in his eyes.
"I dunno Vic, what's so good about picking up the pieces? Maybe I don't want to, maybe I should give Tony a chance since he's so nice to me and there for me and not too afraid to ask a fucking question." That's when I broke down. Vic came over and put his arms around me, he could tell I wasn't serious about giving Tony a chance at this point. He looked down at my arms.
"Are those because of me?" He asked sounding like he was about to cry as well.
"No, they're there because I gave in, because I didn't have anyone to stop me, but they're not because of you, I promise you that." I squirmed out of his arms and walked down the stairs to say goodbye to the rest of the guys.
"I'm so sorry Annabear, we tried to get him to talk to you, he didn't want to believe what we said, he thought we were just trying to make him feel better," Mike was trying to soothe me, all the guys were looking at me with the same apologetic smile, including Tony, I think he had gotten the message that I love him and the rest of the guys, but I was in love with Vic.
" I know you don't want to hear this right now," Mike continued, " we kinda wanted it to be a surprise but we have our first actual gig next week, and we all want you to be there." The guys all nodded in agreement. Tony spoke up.
"I know you won't want to be there because of Vic, but we love you too, and we want you to be there.
"Of course I'll be there, I love you guys! And as much as I may hate to admit it right now, I love Vic too. And I think you guys deserve an explanation, so here it goes he wouldn't even speak to me because he thought that Tony and I were dating, he just assumed the worst. I don't know if I can handle that happening to me again." I said while playing with my sleeves, realizing 5 seconds too late that my cuts were visible.
"This is his fault, I'll kill him!" Mike said almost in tears while Jaime was in tears and Tony looked like he felt like it was his fault.
"No, mike, it's not his fault, it's not even worth it I promise, I'm fine. I'll see you guys at the show next week, text me okay?" I said to all of them giving them hugs and started leaving.
For the first time in a month I put in my earphones and listened to music, Vic was talking to me again, I feel somewhat happy.
Vic's POV
I fucked up unbelievably badly, it was all my fault for never asking a simple fucking question. I need to write... and I did with Anna's words ringing in my ears, "what's so good about picking up the pieces...what if I don't want to?" (A/N link in the notes for Caraphernelia by PTV)
Notes
Oh Kay! First over 2000 views?!?! Oh My Gosh!! You guys are amazing! I can't even breathe and I' m almost in tears right now!! I love you all! And for any of you who think I'm exaggerating, I'm not...my sister can vouch for me! :,)Second I'm soo sorry that it has been 2 weeks since I've updated I feel so bad, but I hope this makes up for it a little!
What do you think is going to happen?! hmm?? drama!! I love hearing from you guys! :)
Link Caraphernelia( acoustic) by PTV- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJC6Lw08ynw
loveee thisss
12/9/13