Are We Losing, or Beginning?

Savi’s face flushed a bright red. “Oh my god,” I laughed, face palming as I watched my band mate sprint back to Mike, demanding him to pay up. She laughed nervously and looked down at the ground, but I could still see the corners of her mouth lifting up into a smile.

I reached over and poked her in the stomach, causing her to squirm a little. “What are you smiling at?” I asked.

“You know damn well what I’m smiling at,” she half-grumbled, a smile still evident as she poked me back. I bit my lip a little and then grinned at her. Her tears were no longer falling, although her cheeks were a little stained. I stepped closer to her and gently reattached my hand to her cheek, my thumb brushing underneath her eye. Her skin was hot from her previous crying, plus she seemed a little embarrassed.

“Can we forget about this for the rest of the day, so we can have a fun last day together?” I asked hopefully. At my words, though, her face twisted slightly as she frowned, confusion spread across her face. “Oh, shit! I meant about Casey. Not the kiss. I like kissing you,” I blurted. She laughed at how flustered I was and nodded. I guess I was still hung up on her shit of a “best friend”; I was happy to see that she, apparently, was not. I was also happy to see that I played a part in making her feel better.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “It’ll be fine. Thank you,” she said softly. I smiled happily at her and went to say something else, but—good timing—Jaime reemerged, energetic as always.

“You guys,” he cooed, bouncing on his toes and scrunching his mouth up.

“Himes, knock it off,” I groaned.

“I just wanted to cordially thank you, for making the ten dollars I invested pay off—”

“Do you have to make things so uncomfortable?” I asked, my cheeks heating up myself. I snuck my arm around Savannah and pulled her a little closer to me, keeping my arm loose just in case she wanted to tuck away. But she stayed like I knew she would and let me lead her towards the door.

“Not so fast, kids!” My brother came booming into the lounge, his smirk evident but something else in his eyes.

“Jesus Christ,” I grumbled. “C’mon, Sav, let’s get out of here,” I said, pulling her in front of me and gently nudging her forward. Luckily oblivious to Mike’s dark look, she giggled quietly and opened the bus door, letting the heat of the Phoenix sun come blasting through the threshold.

I looked over my shoulder at my brother, seeing his twisted face; his eyes still dark and his eyebrows furrowed, although a small smile played on his lips. I didn’t understand the look but I definitely didn’t want to talk about it with him. Not yet at least. I shook my head and turned back around, following Savannah outside.

Before she got the chance to turn and face me, I wrapped my arms around her middle and carefully lifted her up, causing her to giggle even more. I could feel her laughter against my cheek and her hands gripped my forearms, holding herself up.

“Hey!” she called, her voice high pitched with her laughing.

“Hey,” I replied, a little smoothly, setting her down in front of me. “Sorry about them.”

“It’s okay, honestly. As long as they’re not making fun—”

“They’re not,” I assured. “It’s all in good fun.”

“I know,” she smiled. “So…” she said, her demeanor shying again. She looked down at her feet, the sandy ground.

“What do you want to do today?” I asked. “We've got an entire day free!”

“Hmm,” she hummed thoughtfully. “I think I’ll spend the day with Tony. I haven’t talked to him that much and he seems interesting,” she said, her face mostly serious but I could detect a smirk lingering below the surface. She started to slowly turn around and I pouted, reaching out for her. “I’m just kidding, loser,” she teased, poking my chest. I stuck my tongue out at her as a response.

“In all seriousness, do you want to go hang out with everyone? I don’t want to hog you.”

She bit her lip, her cheeks flushing a rosy pink color. “I’ll see them all tonight, like you said, right?” I nodded. “Then I’m fine with doing anything today… with you,” she said, looking down. “…and anyone else, whatever,” she shrugged.

I smiled, not replying for a moment. I studied her face carefully; sunlight was everywhere in her features, it had burnt it in some places but mostly gave her a summer color. Her darker brown hair had a few natural highlights in it, even a little red. Her blues eyes were wide and make-up less—stunning, in my opinion—and her lips were a bit chapped. She did have a couple of circles under her eyes, but didn’t we all.

“We don’t have to go crazy with activities today. I’m sure you’re tired. I am too,” I said. I couldn’t stop my hand from lifting, giving into the urge to twirl my fingers through some of her hair. The action made us step a little closer to each other, so we were only a foot apart. “Plus the heat index is super high today, typical Phoenix weather.” I paused and looked up at the sky. The sun was bright and the sky was cloudless. It looked like it was going to be a brutal day already.

“You guys have to play in this weather tomorrow,” she scrunched up her nose. I repeated the action, nodding in agreement. “You should all get a lot of rest today, so you don’t die and stuff,” she said with a small laugh.

“We’ll try not to die and stuff,” I laughed. “But c’mon, hopefully the guys have calmed down and we can just stay inside today. That’s usually what we do on days like this anyway,” I said. I glanced around the bus lot, where the other bands had parked. Nobody interacted on days like these, until later in the night when it cooled down.

With that, we climbed back onto the bus. It was quiet; everyone seemed to be back in their bunks, using the day off as a day to catch up on sleep. But I didn’t want to waste today, Savi’s last day. I was sad that it was the last, still feeling like I was in sort of a daze from earlier. My lips felt kind of tingly; I haven’t felt anything like that in a long time.

At the same time, though, I had absolutely zero ideas or plans for the day. We stood in the main lounge of the bus solemnly for a few minutes.

“So,” she started, a small smile playing on her lips.

“So,” I repeated with a grin.

“Yesterday was so much fun,” she said. “Thank you.” She smiled shyly.

“Everyone seemed to have a blast, I’m glad,” I said. I know I definitely had a great day and night—and morning. “I feel bad that today won’t be full of fun like that, though,” I said, falling back onto the couch. She shrugged her shoulders and followed suit, sitting next to me.

“That’s okay. It’s just nice to be here to hang out,” she said.

“I like hanging out with you,” I poked her side.

“I like hanging out with you, too,” she poked me back.

So that’s what we did. We sat with our legs crossed and facing each other, just hanging out and talking. We swapped silly stories, and we went back and forth between serious and casual conversation—I asked her what she wanted to do after school. She seemed to dance around that topic a bit, definitely feeling unsure about that. She asked about the band and wondered how I had the motivation to keep it going.

“I’m sort of a perfectionist,” I laughed a little, rubbing the back of my neck. “But I don’t think it’s in a bad way.”

“Well, clearly not,” she nodded with a smile. “It gives you a work ethic. I kind of lack that sometimes.” She frowned a little.

“No, it’s okay. You’ll find something you’re passionate about and it’ll all come together eventually,” I encouraged.

She smiled gently and tucked some fallen pieces of hair behind her ear. “I hope so.”

After continuing with light conversation, some of the other guys stumbled into view. We all sat in a circle, talking, laughing, playing video games. Savannah kicked our asses in Mario Kart—even with the rainbow road. Jaime accused her of witchcraft, which earned him a rightful punch in the shoulder.

“Oh, Savi!” he exclaimed, standing up. “Yesterday I got Jeffry a friend. His name is cact-guy.” We all looked at Jaime in confusion as he rummaged through his bags. He pulled out a plastic bag and turned it upside down, letting a paper receipt and something else fall out of it. He picked up the object and came back to everyone, handing Savannah, what looked like, a stuffed cactus with googley eyes.

“A stuffed cactus with googley eyes,” she said quietly to herself. “Oh my gosh,” she gushed, hugging the stuffed plant with an ecstatic smile on her face. “Thanks Himes, it’s adorable!” Everyone looked at Jaime like he was a complete weird-o, including myself, but Savi genuinely appreciated it and it was actually really adorable. Jaime definitely had his serious moments, but whenever he acted upon his kid spirit it was the best and very refreshing.

A phone started to ring. A look of worry struck both me and Savannah’s face; was it her nasty friend Casey, here to ruin another happy moment? Luckily, though, it was actually Tony’s phone. He stood up and waved apologetically, excusing himself to the back to talk to whoever he was talking to.

“Well,” Mike started. He pressed his hands into his thighs and stood up. “Case and I are going for a walk,” he said, which was just his cue to go smoke. I rolled my eyes and laughed out an ‘okay.’ He shot me another look, like the one from earlier, which I ignored. Jaime started typing away on his phone and just like that, it was me and Savannah again.

The sun was started to descend in the sky, and a cheesy idea sparked in my head. I jumped up and grabbed Savi by her hand. “Where are we going?” she asked, laughing.

I told her that the sun was setting so wasn’t as smoldering outside. It was a perfect temperature, actually. Walking out here was a lot nicer than sitting in that smelly, cramped bus.

“I’m kind of a romantic I guess,” I said once we started walking away from the buses and tents and stages and such.

“Exploring an open dessert is what you call romantic?” she teased, nudging my side. I laughed and nudged her back.

“No, silly.” Without much warning, I plopped down onto the ground. Savannah carefully sat down next to me, not too close but not that far. I scooted a little closer to her, grinned slyly in her direction. Her cheeks flushed a rosy color and she looked down shyly. I just draped my arm over her crossed legs and leaned into her side. “I’m a sucker for sunsets,” I said, nodding at the tiny sun lowering in the distance. I looked at Savannah. “Doesn’t compare to a San Diego sunset though, eh?” She smiled and nodded in agreement, knowing what I meant.

“You take all your ladies here, Fuentes?” she teased again. I squinted my eyes and stuck my tongue out at her, knowing she was playing but also seriously hoping she didn’t think I was a player or anything. I’m a straight up kind of guy, not one to lead a girl on just to fuck around behind her back. That was my brother’s job.

“It’s pretty,” she said thoughtfully. The sky started to darken around the mix of orange, pink, and purple colors. I wouldn’t say it out loud but I liked the view of her eyes, better.

I shook my head. I could feel myself liking her a lot already. It wasn’t a bad thing of course, just a dangerous thing. I sighed a little.

“What is it?” she asked.

We looked at each other. I smiled a little. “It’s just weird how things happen,” I said with a small shrug.

“How do you mean?” she tilted her head to the side; it was adorable.

“I hate to bring it up because I know it still scares you, but—”

“Oh, yeah, I know,” she interrupted gently with a small smile. I was glad I didn't have to explicitly bring up her accident. Of course I didn’t want to say that I was glad it happened, but if it weren’t for that, we wouldn’t have met. Or maybe we would have at the concert, who knows.

“I’m just happy that something positive came out of what happened,” I said. She smiled and nodded.

“I guess the accident wasn’t really losing—it was beginning,” she said with a wink, her eyes brightening up as she referenced a part from one of our songs. I laughed but nodded in agreement, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her closer into my side.

“You’re too damn cute,” I chuckled. She giggled a little and then there was that familiar silence, that familiar pull again. I turned my head into hers so our foreheads were connected. She shyly looked at me and her eyes flickered to my lips—mine did the same to hers. We leaned in simultaneously and I grinned a little when we finally kissed again. She grinned back and leaned in. I wrapped my left arm around her far waist, pulling her closer. I snaked my arm farther and farther around her waist so that I had her completely turned in my direction; I slid my hand down to the back of her right leg and guided her to my lap. I let my hand hover a bit, though, unsure if she was okay with that or not.

She seemed to be, not stopping the kissing or even faltering at all. I raised my hands to the side of her face, holding her head gently. I didn’t know how long we sat there like that, but I didn’t really care in the moment. We have only known each other for a couple days but it felt like a lot longer—probably because it was a couple days of constant company. She was the kind of girl that I could simply kiss for hours, not doing anything else or escalating at all only because I loved the feeling of her lips on mine.

I made sure not to let it go for hours, though. I carefully pulled away from her, breathless. “We should probably get back soon,” I breathed lowly. My heart was racing. “Before the guys send out a search party,” I added lightheartedly.

Blushing a little, she nodded. “Okay.” She started to lean backwards on her heels to stand up, but I couldn’t help myself and pulled her in for another kiss. I gently squeezed her waist and leaned into her, while she re-knotted her hands into my hair. I chuckled a little and forced myself to pull away. I planted a bunch of cute kissed across her face and helped her stand up. I was honestly a little out of breath and she seemed to be, too. I smiled at her and held her hand and we silently walked back to the buses, where the guys had probably set up a bonfire party by now.

When we got there, Savannah’s face lit up with excitement—a lot of bands had congregated already. She squeezed my arm as we approached the group, causing me to laugh a little.

“I always liked you all because of the music, but I never knew you’d all be so nice, too,” she whispered. I laughed again.

“Oh, thanks!” I teased.

“I mean, of course I thought you guys were nice, I just never knew for sure until I met you,” she stammered a little. I grinned at her and patted her arm. Before I could say anything, though, a pile of guys approached us. I honestly didn’t know where they got all of their energy. I figured it was because of their excitement to see Savannah—she truly was a lot of fun to be around, very likeable.

She was blushing a little and looked at me shyly right before Alex and Jack reached us. I smiled and ruffled her hair a little, peeling off to talk to other people and give her some space. She immediately started joking around and laughing with the guys, and I only turned around once to make sure she was okay that I left.

“Oh God, Vic,” someone laughed, pulling my attention to a group across the bonfire. I looked over to see Rian, Tony, and my brother. Rian made a classical Indian Jones style whipping noise, making some people laugh and me roll my eyes.

“You know you’re the only one for me, Rian,” I teased back, sitting in a chair next to him.

“Of course, of course.”

Luckily for me, the guys didn’t bring up Savannah or my obvious crush on her for the rest of the night. I let her be, talking to Alex and Jack and then whoever else came up to her, letting her have her time with other people. I only stole a glance in her direction a few times, and each time she looked really happy which was all I cared about.

I chilled with the guys for a long time. We all discussed future band plans, which got me excited to get back to writing for the next album. I already had a few ideas going but was forcing myself to hold back from it until warped tour was over.

The night went by fast. Everyone was already exhausted and it was only the beginning of the tour. We had a long road ahead of us. Especially since this was our first time on the tour, we didn’t really know what we were doing. We had to keep reminding ourselves that we weren’t made of steel and that sleep needed to happen eventually. We were going to be burnt out by August.

After a while, things started to wind down a bit. I let my eyes flicker to Savannah; she looked visibly sleepy. People were starting to pack up and go to sleep in preparation for the shows tomorrow. I made eye contact with her and she smiled gently; I smiled back and nodded towards the bus. She quickly nodded and started to say bye to the people she was talking to—I did the same.

“Alright I’m turning in,” I said to Rian, Tony, and Mike. Luckily he hadn’t brought up what his problem was tonight; that would have been awkward with Savannah right across the way. I could tell something was bothering him, though, and I wanted to know what it was. I gave him a look that he seemed to be able to translate—a we’ll talk tomorrow when she’s gone look. He nodded and let me go.

I kissed Rian sloppily on the cheek, giving him a wink. With that, I stood up and walked over to Savannah, who was still saying bye to the Mayday Parade guys. I was happy that she was able to hit it off with them, they were cool dudes who made great music, definitely worth being a fan of.

“Hey man!” Jake said, shaking my hand and patting my shoulder. “Good catch on this one, dude, she’s a keeper,” he grinned. Savannah’s face heated up and I blushed a little myself, not denying it, though. I turned a little and winked at her.

“Alright, alright, night guys,” I said to the rest. Most of the other bands had left already, saying goodbye to Savi individually so she didn’t have many people to get through.

“Did you have a nice night?” I asked when we got into the bus. It was just us for now.

“Yes! It was awesome talking to all of those people. I am on a cloud,” she admitted with a giggle. I laughed, walking with her to the back of the bus.

“I’m glad you had fun,” I said. I started to rummage through my laundry, picking out comfortable clothes for the both of us.

“I’m just happy to be here,” she said softly. “And sad to go tomorrow!” she added with a pout. I stuck my bottom lip out in a pout, as well.

“We organized for a car so we can take you to the airport first thing tomorrow morning,” I said, tossing Savannah sweatpants and a fresh shirt. She nodded and smiled thankfully.

“Okay, sounds good,” she said. I left the back area for her to change. I changed quickly myself and then sat down on the edge of my bunk to wait for her.

I sighed a little. Maybe I was too passionate of a person but I could really imagine myself falling for her. I already liked her a lot, probably more than she liked me. And the fact that she was leaving tomorrow morning and I would be gone the rest of the summer made things complicated. I’d just have to go with the flow.

“Hi,” she reappeared in the doorway; I lifted my head up to make eye contact with her and smiled. I bit my lip, not really knowing what to say.

Was it wrong for me to want her to stay with me? I wasn’t going to try anything, but I didn’t want to cross any boundaries because I knew how reserved she was. Even so, though, I already liked her so much I really just wanted to be with her as much as possible—especially with the knowledge that the rest of the summer would drag by without her company.

“I hate that our time is up,” I started lowly.

“Yeah,” she looked down at her feet with a frown. I leaned forward and reached out for her arms, pulling her towards me. She stood in front of me shyly. I loosely tangled my hands into hers and stood up to be at her level.

“I’ll just say it. I like you a lot, Savannah,” I blurted.

She smiled, biting her lip a little in an attempt to tone the smile back. I grinned back. “Well then, our time isn’t really up, is it?” she said quietly.

“I guess you’re right,” I agreed. “I want to see you again.”

“Me too,” she said. She smiled a little and stepped closer to me. I snaked my arms around her waist and pulled her back, so we were sitting on the edge of my bunk.

Feeling sort of shy myself, I kissed her cheek and rested my head on her shoulder. “Wanna cuddle?” I asked quietly. She giggled a little and nodded, turning her head to face mine directly. She leaned in and kissed me gently. I smiled broadly, falling back into my bunk with her.

We snuggled up together under the covers, and I was kind of worried that she would be uncomfortable but she seemed like the complete opposite. I was the one that was a little tense. I was nervous. I didn’t want to fuck this up. But I tucked the anxiousness away, holding her close.

“Sleepy,” she mumbled, blinking slowly. I hummed in agreement and lightly kissed her forehead. We relaxed together and I quickly drifted off to sleep, feeling content with a girl I liked in my arms for the first time in a long time, dreading the alarm that would ruin this comfort in the morning.

Notes

omg

well, it's been nearly a year since we've updated… (time????)
Time is scary. it goes by fast without even realizing it.

anyway, I haven't written anything in a long time and the other things I have going, ptvfanfic.com wise and actual real stories I’m writing, are too sad and dark for me right now, so i figured it'd be healthy to write something fun for a change--and then I remembered this story! it's refreshing, just a cute and silly and mostly fluffy story (and this chapter was pretty dang fluffy especially the end omfg), pretty innocent and fun to write. So yeah :)
if anyone is actually reading this, i hope you enjoy! i'll probably update again eventually, most likely soon, and i hope to hear from some of you guys, whether you're old readers or new ones :)

have a nice day/night!

xoxo,
claire