Are We Losing, or Beginning?

We escorted the girls out of the RV. A nice gesture we didn't need to discuss to carry out, we just did it. I felt this emptiness fill me as they put all of their things in the backseat. Today was such a good day, it really kept me grounded (not that I was going to float away any time soon) it reminded me of why I was doing this, it was a little prompt of why the music industry is exactly what I'd always dreamed of—the fans made it so special and the girls were so down to earth, it just made it perfect.

Casey hopped in the drivers seat after giving us a wave over the roof of the car, we all smiled and waved back, Savannah was already in the car, buckling her seat-belt, with a nostalgic smile on her face. It seemed she felt exactly as I did.

"Bye!" we all said and Savannah gave a small wave as Casey hit the accelerator and drove away.

"Bye Savvie and Caseeeeeey!" Jaime screamed

"I think they're too far away to hear you dude" Mike laughed patting Jaime on the shoulder and they began to turn around and head back into the RV. I stared for a while at the now vacant space where their car had been only moments ago, wondering how far away they'd gotten and what they were talking about.

"Midget Fuentes, come on dude!" Jaime shouted snapping me out of it and I headed onto the RV too, frowning at him for calling me a midget. I flopped on the couch, lifting my legs onto the couch, putting my feet on Tony's legs (not caring whether he approved of it or not) and closing my eyes, feeling a new exhaustion set in.

"Your feet smell, Vic" Tony sounded disgusted, his expression probably matched his tone but I didn't open my eyes to find out

"That's probably Jaime" I mumbled and all of a sudden the air in my chest was cut off by a heavy weight. My eyes shot open in panic as I searched for what was cutting off my breath—Jaime.

"This is comfy" Jaime smiled closing his eyes and putting his head back onto the back of the couch and closing his eyes.

"Jaime get off my chest" I choked out sounding like I smoke like a chimney.

"Take it back"

"What?"

"Take it back!"

"Fine, your feet don't smell, get off me!" he smiled satisfied and hopped off. I rubbed my chest where my rib cage felt like it had snapped and punctured my oxygen deprived lungs (okay I was being dramatic I know) I sat up, rubbing my face and leaning my elbows on my knees.

"What now?" I asked. Tony and Jaime looked at me blankly like they didn't quite understand what I was asking. Then as if on cue Mike came from the back of the bus with Jameson in one hand and Jack Daniels in the other and a goofy grin on his face. Oh and a joint hanging from his lips, but I chose to ignore that as I hate his nasty habit of getting high.

"We get fucking drunk" he replied with a smirk, simultaneously shaking the bottles of alcohol to emphasize, I laughed and rolled my eyes.

“Yeah! Let’s do this!” As usual Jaime was enthusiastic about the idea (just like he’s enthusiastic about everything)

The party was in full swing and for some reason I just couldn’t swing with it. I couldn’t get the image of Savannah’s face when listening to Between The Trees’ set out of my head. It was like she was paralyzed by the sense of someone knowing what she was feeling. But she couldn't have been feeling that, could she? No of course not.

Vic stop over thinking—I told myself.

"You're being a party pooper" Tony slurred plopping down beside me. I was still sat on the couch and hadn't moved, still with the same untouched glass of Jack in front of me that had been there an hour and a half ago when the party started.

"Yep, just call me the party pooper crew" I shrugged and smiled weakly. I honestly needed to get a grip.

"You know Warped Tour was great, we killed it!" Tony slapped my shoulder, showing his enthusiasm

"Yeah it was great" my voice should have sounded lighter, more enthusiastic. But it didn't.

"Then why do you look like you were at McDonald's and somebody stole your fries?" His eyelids were half closed and a lazy smile was on his face. He was in drunk bliss and I was glad somebody was happy. I patted him on the shoulder and stood up, checking my phone for the time.

"Speaking of Warped, we need to drive to San Francisco and considering I'm the only sober one..." I paused, directing my attention at our supposed to be driver for the night (we all took turns)—who was one shot away from unconsciousness--Casey, mike's drum tech and best friend. "...I guess I'm the designated driver" I stuffed my hands in my pockets, conflicted on whether to just leave after saying that or wait to see if he had anything else to say.

I figured he was far too drunk to say anything that made any more sense than his last statement, so I headed to the very front of the bus.

I plonked myself down in the drivers seat, studying for a second. I was a good driver but I'd never drove an RV before. Eh, how hard could it be?

I loved the way the headlights illuminated the road in the dark, two beams guiding you across the asphalt. There were signs every few hundred yards that said: Tiredness can kill—in huge bright white letters that made you believe it. Not that I doubted it anyway because my top eyelids felt heavy against my bottom ones, I shook my head trying to keep myself awake, blinking rapidly.

Concentrate Vic, concentrate.

The party was still wild, Whitney Houston was soulfully letting the whole bus know that she wanted to dance with somebody (and I got the impression she'd prefer if that somebody loved her) I thought that the music would help me stay awake, but it didn't.

My eyes kept closing at their own accord, I felt the bus swerve to the right a little and my eyes shot open at the movement, I regained control and kept driving straight, my heart pounding slightly. I should have pulled over and got some rest and continued to drive when I was fully rested but we didn't have that kind of time.

"Vic, you need to come see this!" Mike yelled from far behind me where the party was taking place "There's a fucking bunny on..." The rest of his sentence was cut off by his hysterical laughter and I made an educated guess that he'd lit that joint I was so silently disapproving of.

"Busy" I mumbled sleepily, the words barely making it out from between my lips. My eyes closed and they felt nailed shut, the bus swerved slowly left and right as my exhausted mind shut down and my arms no longer belonged to me. The bus swerved more aggressively and I tried to force my eyes open to gain enough consciousness to pull over, it was mandatory really. But my eyes wouldn't open.

"Woah, Vic what the fucks going on?" Mike growled, probably unable to keep his balance because of the swerving, I couldn't reply, I felt comatosed.

All of a sudden—SMASH. We hit something. My eyes shot open and I panicked and scanned my surroundings. We hadn't hit another car, so no one else was hurt, and we weren't really going fast enough to injure ourselves. Mind you, I was wearing a seatbelt, so I personally wasn't hurt. Oh shit.

The music was still playing and it sounded so wrong and out of place in that moment in time. I couldn't hear cheering or happy slurring of drunken syllables anymore. My heart pounded. I drew the curtain that separated the drivers part from the middle section of the bus back and looked around.

Mike was sat on the floor with a lazy smile on his face, Jaime was sprawled on the floor, unconscious from too much liquor, Tony wasn't around so I guessed he'd gone to bed prior to the accident but I made a mental note to go check once I knew everyone in this section of the bus was okay.

Casey was rolling around on the floor, grasping his arm in pain, screwing his face up to some level of unattractivity I didn't know existed until now.

"Shit Casey are you okay?" I ran forward and crouched down beside him

"You broke my fucking arm you dick" he groaned trying his best efforts not to move the broken arm but failing.

"Shit, fuck, I'm sorry, I-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever" he snapped, attempting to get up.

"I'll get you to the hospital as soon as we reach San Francisco" he just nodded, quite pissed at me (with good reason too)

"Mike, you okay?" I asked my baby brother, he didn't respond, he just stayed there with the same creepy smile on his face. Whitney Houston was starting to me make me want to hit something so I walked over to the laptop and shut off the music. My ears began to ring from the all of a sudden contrast between ear splitting volume and complete silence.

I went over to Mike "Mike, you okay?" I repeated

"Yeah man, yeah" he slurred a little with a smile, but he didn't move. I realized the problem, his head was bleeding, pretty badly too. I pulled his head forward to get a closer look at the back of it, thick, rich red blood was oozing out of it, alarmingly.

"Y-you're bleeding. Shit, I made you bleed" I let his head go and his smile still remained

"I'm bleeding?" He questioned, his eyes almost closed, he touched the back of his head and examined the red substance on his hand.

"Awesome" he laughed and I shook my head. I got up and grabbed a towel and threw it at him

"Apply pressure to it okay" he looked at the towel like it was a UFO, I rolled my eyes and went back over to him, putting it against the back of his head and holding it there firmly. I replaced my hand with his and told him to hold it there solidly and then I headed into the back to see if Tony was okay.

Tony was fine, tucked up in his bunk, well and truly unaware of the event that had just unfolded. I wondered how he hadn't fallen out of his bunk but I didn't dwell on it.

I couldn't go to sleep now, I had to get to San Francisco and get Casey and Mike to a hospital. Unwillingly the accident Savannah was involved in pushed itself into my mind. The way the colour of the car was chipped away by the onslaught of the pavement as it smashed against it, the way it upturned and flipped... That could have been us.

How could I have been so stupid?

Abruptly, I had this huge nagging need to contact Savannah. I knew it was crazy considering the circumstances but with her car accident fresh in my mind I had to know she was okay. It was a must.

I dug out my phone from the inner depth of my back pocket. Upon finding it I opened the Facebook app and signed into our band Facebook.

Hey, Sav. It's Vic!
Haven't heard from you so I just wanted to check that you girls got home safely?
Hope you enjoyed your day.
It was great hanging out with you and Casey

I typed after finding Savannah's profile and hitting the send message button. I scanned over it a couple of times, checking that everything I said did come across corny or stupid. I reluctantly hit send hoping I didn't sound annoying.

Shoving the phone back in its place in my pocket I checked Mike was okay and got back behind the wheel. I couldn't wait to hear back from Savannah.

And this time I had to have control of the wheel and stay awake.

Notes

Hi!
Claire's British crumpet here
(OKAY THAT WAS SO LAME)

This took me forever but hallelujahhhhhhhhhh

**clumsily drops the writing stick and awkwardly picks it up and throws it to the better half of this story Claire**