The room was like something that I had never seen before. It’s true that I’ve been in here more times than my own but I had never seen it so…terrifying. The light that was seeping in from behind me and Jaime, made the room appear eerie and the scene before us looked like something out of a horror film. As we stood there screaming, it was like time had come to a complete standstill to compensate for the life that has been lost within the dark shadows of the room.

I can feel Jaime’s cold, shaking hand take hold of mine as he struggles to keep his breathing level as he takes a step back from the sight of the bedroom before us. The look that’s in his eyes tells me everything about what he’s thinking; the amount of pain that is coursing through them can only be from the memories of that wretched night as they plague his mind one more time causing him to fall down to his knees as he shakes his head vigorously from side to side, trying his hardest to escape from the tainted thoughts of the past as they come thick and fast into his mind.

I, on the other hand, keep my gaze onto the scene that was playing out in front of my very eyes, still unable to believe what I was actually seeing. The cream coloured carpet that was usually spotless and clean was different tonight; in patches there was a dark, crimson coloured liquid that was leading over to a big pool of crimson that had trailed down the left side of the bed, each drop clinging desperately onto the carpet fibres and absorbing into the crisp, white bed sheets. Scattered around the room were broken, empty alcohol bottles, lying amongst the shards were open pill bottles and slumped over in the middle of the bed was the motionless form of a dark-haired man, the motionless form of my Michael, his arms and clothes covered in the crimson liquid which I sincerely hope is red wine but I can only assume to be blood.

My mind was telling me that I should be doing something, anything to help Mike but my body wouldn’t move, all that I could do was stand there in the doorway, screaming; screaming until my heart stop beating, screaming until I had nothing left to scream for. I could tell that Jaime was feeling the same way as his screams could be heard over my own, his face showing a mixture of fear and undeniable pain as he takes a look around the darkened room, his mind unconsciously adding to the memory that he so badly wants to erase but is unable to.

“T…T…Tony…” Jaime stutters as he tries to back away from the door some more, but his body won’t allow him to move, he’s frozen to the spot, unable to do anything or move anywhere.

“I know, Jaime. I know…” I whisper, my voice breaking under the pressure of my dying screams.

Glancing back at Jaime quickly, I give his hand a reassuring squeeze before I remove my own from his grasp and rush over to where Mike lay spread out in the middle of the bed. I need to see whether he was still alive, I need to know that he’s going to be alright, he just has to be alright. Dodging around the shards of glass and open pill bottles, I kneel down besides him, my breathing shallow and out of time as I place a shaking hand against Michael’s soft hair, the tears cascading down my cheeks as I stoke it gently, working my way down his face and to his neck; desperate to find a pulse and letting out a small sigh of relief when I manage to find one, it’s slow and weak but at least he still has one. I lean my body carefully over him, shaking slightly as I place a delicate kiss onto his cold, unmoving lips.

“Tone…” Jaime whispers as he kneels down shakily beside me, placing a hand gently onto my shoulder while his other hand clings desperately to the edge of the bed for support.

“He‘s still alive.” I inform him confidently as I sit myself up straight and wiping away the tears from my eyes. “You need to phone for an ambulance and then let Vic know what‘s happening…he‘s not going to want to know about this, but Mike‘s his brother and he deserves to know what‘s going on.”

Jaime nods before slowly getting to his feet in a gingerly fashion as he takes holds of his cell phone, pulling it out of his back pockets and dialling the well known ‘911’ number for an ambulance to come and save Mike from dying in a pool of blood in a wreck of a room that had once held so many happy memories between him and me, but now had been tainted with the pathetic incident of our argument earlier and now the horror scene that was playing out before me.

“Please be okay.” I whisper in his ear as I lean down over him again. “I am so sorry, Mike…”

My finger keeps stroking through Mike’s perfect black hair, while tears fall freely from my eyes. How could he do this to me, Jaime and to Vic as well? I thought that he wasn’t the type of person to make the same mistakes twice. But he hasn’t made the same mistake twice…now he has included a new method of pain to the mix. My mind sneers at me as I shake my head. It’s true, last time he only had the alcohol and the pills, now he’s taken to self-harming too…I didn’t think that he would ever do that after seeing Vic go through it in High School, but obviously I was wrong, just like I was wrong about everything else.

Doesn’t he value his life anymore? I stop at that thought. No. I don’t think that he does, and it’s all because of me. I can’t say that I blame him though; I’ve somehow managed to turn his life upside down ever since the day that I first met him, no wonder he felt like it was time to cheat on me. I never should have shouted at him, he was only doing what he thought was right for him, and for me…I was just too blind to realize that and now I‘m on the very verge of losing him for good.

“I love you so much, Michael…I’m just so sorry that I didn’t give you a chance to explain yourself…” I whisper as a sob escapes through my lips. Without thinking or caring about getting Mike’s blood on me, even more so than what was already literally on my hands, I moved my body so that I was lying down next to him, my hand clutching with his own as my own vision starts to cloud over with tears.

The last thing that I see before my eyes fully close is Mike’s frail, blood soaked body while my ears pick up on the sound of Jaime’s reproaching footsteps.