I woke up the next morning with my right hand gripping onto the front of Vic’s t-shirt as I remained buried in his chest. My left hand was being restrained by Vic’s as his fingers were intertwined with my own, making sure I wasn’t going to leave in the middle of the night. I stared at Vic for a long while since I was too afraid to move. He looked so peaceful and content, and I didn’t want to wake him.

Vic took in a long breath, which turned into a sigh as he released it. His breath hit my face, and to my surprise, his morning breath didn’t bother me – it didn’t really smell at all. Everything about Vic was sweet, and intoxicating. He opened his eyes and I watched as they searched around for a moment in confusion as he took in the interior of the hotel room. His brown eyes fixated on mine and I smiled as his features relaxed.

“You let me hold your hand all through the night,” Vic said with a smile. His thumb began to trace over my knuckles and I couldn’t deny that I admired the gesture.

“I don’t think I could let go if I tried,” I said with a laugh. Vic’s hand was grasping onto my own so tightly that my fingers had no choice but to follow suit.

“It’s because I’m so strong,” he said with a cocky grin. “I don’t even know my own strength.”

I shook my head and let out a laugh. “Come on, we better get ready and head out to the venue.”

Vic sighed and reluctantly allowed me to slip from his grasp. Goosebumps plagued my skin as the cool temperature of the hotel room chilled my naked body. I was surprised that I hadn’t grown sweaty during the night with Vic’s naked body pressed up against mine. We had stuck together in a way that wasn’t annoying or uncomfortable. I shook my head as I picked up my duffel bag and headed into the restroom to shower and get ready for the day.

-

We walked into the venue and I felt as if I had a new found confidence about me. I walked with my hangs swinging freely at my sides instead of holding them close to my body to prevent them from coming in contact with someone or something. With Vic walking by my side, I felt comfortable. Our hands brushed together every now and then, and although I was still somewhat jumpy with the contact, I allowed it to happen over and over again.

We reached the mass of people from the front of the venue, and without much thought, I grasped my hand around Vic's to keep myself at his side while the swarm of fans were still entering the venue. I could see the corners of Vic's mouth twitch up into a smile as he intertwined his fingers with my own and squeezed my hand for reassurance that he wouldn't lose me. It seemed to take forever to get to the buses, but that's probably because my mind was elsewhere as Vic held my hand. I thought back to the night before and remembered where those hands had been and how he had seen me in such a vulnerable state. I waited for the feelings of regret to wash over me, but they never did. I felt no regrets for sleeping with Vic, and a part of me - a huge part of me - wanted it to happen again.

"Hey! Vic! Sam!"

I couldn't see who was greeting us since I was trailing behind Vic, his arm twisting backwards in order to continue holding my hand. All I could see was a shadow casting over me - a tall, lean shadow with hair that was gelled up. A hairstyle that was fairly common, but I knew who it belonged to.

"Hey, Austin," Vic greeted with a grin. I showed myself from around Vic's body and immediately felt my hands going clammy. Vic squeezed a bit tighter.

"Hey, Austin," I greeted as well, sending him a slight nod, my lips in a tight line.

Vic looked between the two of us with a confused furrowing of his eyebrows and a lopsided smirk on his lips. "You guys know each other?" Vic asked. "I didn't know that."

Austin eyed me with a smirk and a seductive licking of his lips. He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off before the wrong thing could come out of his mouth. "I had to work the Skullcandy stage when they were playing on it not too long ago."

"Oh, cool," Vic smiled, seeming to buy my lie. I wondered if he was only pretending to believe me since he had told me the night before that he could see when I was lying. His facial expression didn’t change, and he turned his attention back over to Austin. He pulled my hand to try and get me to stand beside him instead of hiding behind him.

I watched as Austin’s eyes trailed down Vic’s arm and to our interlocked hands. Confusion spread over his eyes, but Vic didn’t seem to notice.

“What time are you guys playing today?” Vic asked.

Austin shook his head, snapping himself out of whatever thoughts were running through his mind. “Three,” he answered shortly.

“Ah, right in the prime of the heat. I’m sorry man,” Vic said with a slight chuckle. “We’re playing in the evening, right when it’s cooling down.”

“Lucky you,” Austin said with a smirk. As he said this he turned his gaze over to me for a moment, our eyes meeting and I wondered if he was referring to something else.

“I better get going, now. I need to get my radio back and make sure the crew knows I’m here,” I said very softly, so only Vic could hear me. He nodded and I pulled my hand from his. “Bye, Austin,” I said as I nodded in his direction.

“I’ll see you later.” He shot me a smile and crossed his arms over my chest, staring at me as I turned to leave toward the roadie bus. I didn’t like the way I could feel Austin’s gaze following the natural sway of my hips as I walked away. And I didn’t like the promise he was setting in those words; he wasn’t saying it as a goodbye, he was saying it as if he was going to make sure it happened.

My hands began to itch as they began to sweat from nerves as I thought about Austin and how I had shamefully given my body to him so easily. I tucked my hands into my pockets as I continued to walk toward the bus with my purse on my shoulder and the strap to my duffel bag slung across my body. I continued to grow more and more nervous as I was getting closer to the bus. I didn’t want to be outside anymore. I needed to get inside that bus and get to work so I could alleviate my mind from the swelling of thoughts and regrets that had been triggered by seeing Austin.

I entered the bus and was relieved to see that it was empty. The only noise being the soft snores of the bus driver as he slept peacefully in his bunk. I walked up to my bunk and drew open the curtain, ready to toss my bags in, but stopped myself when I saw a note and my radio sitting on top of my blanket.

Samia,
I hope you get here before lunch time, but in case you don’t, I’ve only scheduled you for catering duties for dinner. Radio me when you’re here so I know you got back okay.
-Kenny
PS- Did Vic find you alright?

I sighed as I clipped my radio onto the sleeve of my cut-off t-shirt. I radioed in to make sure that Kenny knew that I was alive, and instead of getting a response from Kenny, I got a response from my coworker, Dan, telling me that he was waiting for me at catering. I sighed, immediately knowing that the questions were going to start. Dan was nosey, and although he had always been around Warped Tour, working with me almost every year, I tried to avoid getting close to him. He was a friend, but he definitely didn’t know my story. But, he did know more than everybody else since he had known me since before I had to leave for a few years. He knew me when I wasn’t secretive and scared, and that scared me.

I was on my way to catering when I heard the voice of Austin Carlile calling out to me.

“Hey there.”

I didn’t turn around or slow down – I didn’t acknowledge him at all, actually. I continued to walk, hoping that he would get the hint and leave me alone. But he was too persistent. I could hear his footsteps growing closer, and I could feel his presence dangerously close to mine.

I don’t know how I did it, but I felt his hand reaching out to grab onto mine and stop me, but I quickly jerked my arm back and turned around, crossing my arms over my chest and burying my hands into the creases of my arms, keeping them close to me and away from Austin’s reach. I could feel my heartbeat accelerating and my chest heaving as I tried to catch my breath before an anxiety attack hit.

“Woah…are you okay?” he asked, noticing how I had grown so defensive so quickly. I didn’t respond and he shook his head, moving on from his curiosity. “Why didn’t you tell me you were dating Fuentes?”

I relaxed a bit, but this time I was the curious one. “I’m not dating him.”

“Oh please, I saw you holding his hand,” he grumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Vic’s my friend, okay? If he finds out that we have a thing, he’s going to flip.”

“What the fuck?” I said, out loud. “We don’t have a thing, Austin.”

Austin smirked, clearly glad he got a rise out of me. “Call it whatever you want, doll. But, we do.”

“No,” I corrected him. “We fucked. A meaningless fuck, that I do regret immensely, by the way. But that does not mean that we have a thing going on.”

“Because you’re dating Vic.”

“Huh?”

“You regret it because you’re with Vic,” Austin declared. “And if we don’t have a thing, then explain to me why you’re going to agree to meeting me at the venue’s bathrooms after final catering call?”

I furrowed my eyebrows, anger coursing through my veins. “I’m not-“

“I’ll see you after dinner,” he said quickly, cutting me off. “Don’t tell Vic.”

I opened my mouth to object once again, but his smirk and wink told me that he was just messing with me. He turned around, slowly walking back toward his bus, pulling his cell phone from his pocket as he did so. He knew that I wasn’t dating Vic, he was just trying to get me angry. I continued to stare after Austin. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was serious about me meeting up with him, part of me told me he was, but the other part of me was telling me to brush it off because I wasn’t going to meet him over there either way.

I finally arrived at catering, where there were only a few band members scattered about here and there, chewing on their chicken or grabbing new water bottles. I looked by the food assembly line and saw Dan standing behind the chicken, a pair of tongs in his right hand. He spotted me and held the tongs into the air clanking them together a few times as if to say hello.

I let out a chuckle as I grew closer to him. He was shirtless and his long, brown hair was pulled into a low ponytail, the shaved sides of his head clearly visible and his back tattoo that stretched up to the back of his neck was visible as well.

“Hey girly,” he said with a smile. “How you doing? How was the family reunion?”

I cringed at his words, realizing that my lies were no longer matching up. What had I told Vic that I was at? A funeral, that’s right. I really hoped that Dan and Vic didn’t know each other, or else I was going to be screwed. “It was great,” I lied. “Not a lot of family drama this year, so that’s good.”

“Ah, family drama is the worst,” Dan laughed a bit. I relaxed when I felt that he had believed my lie.

“Did your fiancé go with you?”

His words hurt to hear, and they also scared me half to death. Dan met him once before, six years ago, and I remember the day we had decided to become engaged, Dan was there when it all happened.

“I’m going to marry you, Samia Ortega.” His voice was confident.

I let out a fit of stifled giggles, trying to remain quiet, hidden away in my bunk while the rest of the moving bus was fast asleep, except for the driver, of course. “Okay, yeah,” I said with a sarcastic tone. “I’ve got to go, baby. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Sam. So fucking much. I can’t wait to have you in my arms again. And I can’t wait to kiss your beautiful lips and run my hands-“

“Babe,” I stopped him quickly. “Don’t get me started,” I murmured.

“You’re funny,” he chuckled. “Goodnight, Sam. Call me tomorrow, okay? I love you.”

“I love you, too. So much. Goodnight.”

Three days later, Dan and I were walking down to the postal office to pick up the mail for the tour. As we were sorting through the packages by name, Dan came across a package with my name on it. He tossed the box over to me and I dropped the envelope that was in my hands to catch it.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“I dunno,” Dan shrugged, his cigarette hanging from his lips. “Open it, let’s see.”

I nodded, and eagerly began to rip open the package. Inside of the box was another box, surrounded by bubble wrap. I pulled out the smaller box and opened that one as well, to reveal a bunch of packing peanuts and a small, purple box sitting at the bottom. I wrapped my fingers around the tiny, soft box and chills took over my body as my subconscious told me exactly what I was holding.

The pulled open the hinged box and remained silent as I stared down at the silver ring that was sitting inside. A pearl sat in the center of the ring, being held in place by silver swirls with small diamonds lining the detailing.

“He fucking didn’t,” I said in disbelief. I let out a loud laugh. “Oh my god.”

“Is that…a ring?” Dan asked, staring over my shoulder to look at my hands. He let out an impressed whistled. “Woah nelly, buddy don’t mess around. He’s trying to wife you.”

“Yeah, I see that,” I said with another laugh. I pulled the ring out of the box and slipped it onto my finger. “That fucker.” I chuckled as I held out my hand and stared at the ring. With my free hand, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone.

“What are you doing?” Dan asked.

“Calling that bitch to tell him he better give me a huge fucking wedding.”

“Did you just get engaged?” Dan nearly shouted.

“Yeah, looks like it.” I smiled widely and looked down at my hand.

“Oh, um, no,” I stammered, coming back into reality. “We’re not…um…”

“Oh,” Dan seemed to catch on to what I was saying. A frown spreading across his face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay,” I said quickly. “So, are you on catering duty all day, too?”

“Yep,” Dan smiled widely. “Looks like we can finally catch up after all these years. We used to be kind of close, you know. I’ve missed hanging out with you.”

I took in a slow breath, swallowing down the lump in my throat before murmuring a weak “yeah” in false agreement.

The day went by painfully slow. Dan continued to talk my ear off, and I noticed that when he would pause was when he wanted me to respond or volunteer information about myself. But I would usually just give him a quick little sentence that I felt basically summarized what he had just told me about. It was my way of letting him know that I was listening, but not willing to tell him anything about myself. He started talking about his ex-girlfriend, and then he moved on from that to his mother, and then he started to talk about drugs, and I honestly had no idea where he was going with all of this, but I just let him talk, and pretended to care.

“Last call for catering!” Dan called out. “Spread the word! We’re closing up in ten!”

The tent was nearly empty, only a couple of crew members were around, and they were just finishing their meals and picking up the trash around the catering tent.

“I think that’s it,” I said with a smile. “Looks like we’re done here.” I began to pick up the plates and utensils, setting them back down in their rightful boxes.

“Oh no,” Dan said with a smile. “We don’t have to clean up. That’s their job,” he said as he nodded in the direction of the workers that were cleaning up around the tent. “We’re free for the night.”

“Oh, thank god,” I muttered.

“Yeah, I know,” Dan smiled. “So what are we going to do tonight?” Dan asked, a hopeful smile on his face.

I didn’t understand why he still wanted to hang out with me, especially after I had been so unresponsive to him the entire day. I tried to think of an excuse to get out of hanging out with him. I couldn’t just tell him that I had plans, because really I would just end up crawling back into my bunk, and then what? Dan would walk onto the bus and see me there, knowing that I lied right away.

Dan was rattling off different bus parties that were going to be happening when I remembered an excuse that could get me away from the boring ramblings of Dan. “Oh!” I cut him off, mid ramble, “I actually have plans with Austin Carlile.”

“From Of Mice and Men?” he asked with a cocked eyebrow. “I didn’t realize you guys were friends.”

“We’re not,” I said with too much hatred. I quickly shook my head. “I mean, we kind of are. More of acquaintances, really. But I promised I would help him organize his storage trailer. I’m sorry,” I said with a frown.

Dan sighed and frowned as well. “It’s okay. Maybe later tonight if you’re not too tired we can play some Xbox or something.”

“Okay, we’ll see,” I said with a false smile. I didn’t know why Dan was trying so hard to reach out to me, but it was honestly starting to get on my nerves and I really wanted him to stop trying so hard. “See you later!”

Before Dan could reply, I quickly turned and walked away, heading straight toward the venue bathrooms where Austin said he was going to meet me. The walk was long, dark, and very terrifying, but I made it in one piece. Well, my body was in one piece but my mind was a severed mess. Why was I here? I should have just agreed to go with Dan, or just told him that I was going to hang out with Vic. Surely Vic would have let me tag along with whatever he was planning on doing. But then again, I didn’t really want to be around Vic because I didn’t want him to think that I was being attached or something just because we had sex.

“I knew you would come.”

I jumped at the sound of Austin’s voice, a slight squeal escaping my lips. “Shit, Carlile, you scared me half to death.”

“Easy, tiger,” he smirked as he came closer to me. He reached out to grab my hand, but I pulled away, just like I did earlier, but this time I was able to keep my calm and not have to fight with the heavy breathing or accelerated heart-rate. “Shit, what is wrong with you?”

I shook my head and held my hands close to my body. “What are we doing here, Austin?”

Austin smiled. “What do you think?” he asked, his voice low and undeniably sexy. A shiver went down my spine as I watched him remove his shirt. “We’re going to fuck.”

I let out a loud laugh. “Oh, no,” I said, “we are not.”

I went to walk away, but Austin spoke up again. “Can you stop playing hard to get? Samia, I know you’re attracted to me. And I know that you didn’t enjoy yourself last time. I can’t leave a beautiful woman unsatisfied. Give me another chance.”

Austin was right behind me now, his chest pressed up against my back. He wrapped his arms around my body and I immediately tensed up. He dipped his head down and kissed just behind my right ear. “Relax,” he whispered. “Give in to the temptation.”

I was still rigid at his words. I couldn’t just give in that easily. I would feel far too dirty, especially since I had just shared an intimate night with Vic. But now my hormones were going crazy, and now that I had started having sex again, I couldn’t deny that I wanted it. And I couldn’t deny that Austin was extremely attractive, and his forwardness was turning me on. But it was empty lust, and I didn’t want to give in. And there was no way that I could relax with Austin, because he wasn’t Vic.

“Here,” Austin said. He turned me around and held out a bottle of Jameson. “You may have the honors, my lady.”

I took the unopened bottle in my hands, not questioning where it came from or where he had been hiding it. The glass bottle felt like acid in my hands. My palms were hurting and my head was already starting to fog.

I ripped the cap off and pulled the bottle to my lips, stopping just before I could take the first sip. “Don’t worry,” Austin cooed. “Just relax.”

I closed my eyes tight, my mascara surely leaving marks under my eyes from how tight I was closing my eyes. But I didn’t care. I dipped my head back, holding the bottle up, nearly completely vertical, to allow the liquid to flow into my mouth with ease. I left my throat open, the alcohol burning as it slipped down. I could have downed the entire bottle, but Austin cleared his throat, reminding me that he wanted some as well.

I handed the bottle out to him, a hiccup escaping my lips as I did so.

“Damn, who knew you could drink?” Austin shook his head and he pulled the bottle up to his own lips.

I took a few steps around, walking in place to try and get the alcohol to circulate faster. I could feel it sitting in my stomach, and my body was slowly beginning to numb over with tingly warmth. My limbs felt invincible and a growing desire began to burn in the pit of my stomach. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” I said with a confident laugh.

I felt instinct taking over and I slowly made my way over to him. I gently pushed on his chest, bringing him into the women’s restroom.

Don’t do this, Samia. Don’t you dare kiss him. Where is your dignity?

I shook my head, shaking my rational thinking away and pushing myself up against Austin.

“Fuck,” he hissed. “I like this Samia.”

I shook my head and grabbed onto the back of his neck, pulling his head down to my level so I could stare into his eyes. “We don’t have a thing,” I said in a stern tone. “This means nothing. We are not friends, and I do not like you.”

“Ouch,” Austin said with furrowed eyebrows. “Harsh.”

“You don’t like me, and you will never speak of this.” I was hoping that my gaze and tone would brainwash him into listening, but he still seemed to not be paying attention. I needed to get him to agree. I took his hand, careful not to allow my palm to touch his, and slowly trailed his fingers down my body and toward my pants. I let go of his hand at my pantline and pulled my zipped down and popped open the button. I continued to stare at him while I took hold of his hand once again and this time, pushed his hand down the front of my pants, allowing him to cup my crotch with the pressure of my hand, keeping his palm firmly in place. I couldn’t deny the pleasure it brought me to bring in charge and the effect that it had on Austin brought me pleasure as well.

“Did you hear what I said?” I asked in a hushed tone.

“Y-yes,” Austin stuttered as he licked his lips. He began to flex his fingers, catching me off guard, and causing me to moan just a bit. “I won’t tell a soul.”

I smiled in triumph, and removed my hand, somewhat expecting him to do the same, but instead he wrapped his other arm around my bottom and lifted me up so I was sitting on the metal sinks of the venue bathroom. In a matter of seconds he had pulled my pants down and spread my legs, leaving me exposed, cold, and vulnerable. I let out a moan as Austin wasted no time in slipping two fingers inside of me, his whole arm forcefully moving up and down, his fingers curled and bringing pleasure with every up and down motion.

“Admit that you’re attracted to me,” Austin demanded. His breathing was rough and his lips were dangerously close to mine as I let out whimpers. “Say it,” he demanded.

“Fuck you,” I hissed as he continued to move his hand quicker and quicker. The pleasure was too much, and I already felt myself nearing an orgasm.

“You will,” Austin smirked. “But first, I want to hear you beg.”

A smirk stretched across his lips as Austin began to withdraw his hand, just as I was ready to reach my peak. And I found myself doing exactly what he wanted. I begged and whimpered, but I no longer wanted this. I regretted every second of what I was doing. The hungry look in his eyes frightened me, and I tried to remind myself that I was okay now, and this was my fault. It was all my fault.

But everything he did reminded me of my past.

“That’s it, baby girl. Beg.”

Notes

I am so sorry it took like ten years for me update this. Okay, so it was really only a month, but still, that is way too long to wait and I apologize! School has been kicking my ass. :( Well, I mean, I'm doing alright this quarter, but I mean the work is just SO MUCH! Ack! And along with that comes the lack of inspiration. But here is an update, and I really hope it was worth the wait!

What do you think about Dan trying to get to know Samia?
What do you think about her fiance? Where is he now?
What about her meeting up with Austin?
And that little flashback at the end? Who do you think that was? Why do you think that was happening?

I swear all of these flashbacks and connections will make more sense as everything goes along. Just gotta give you guys little teasers to Samia's story. I'd love to hear any predictions you have :)

Love you all for sticking around and waiting for the update! xoxox