He Makes Dirty Words Sound Pretty
Chapter 1
I'm on the edge of the hospital roof. My stomach was making noises because of the hundred or so pills in my stomach. I felt a stinging sensation in my left arm, and quickly jerked it away to see what hurt it. It was just my cuts against my t-shirt. I did one last line, but dripped it over the edge, watching the blood spiral to the ground, falling story, after story until it finally exploded on the street. I'm going to do it, and I'm not fucking up this time.
I put my arms out to the side, felling my shirt flap in the wind. A darkness starts to take over my world. I was saying my last goodbyes, needing my last minute here when the voice came in, urging me to do it. The voice is driven from the dark, and if I don't jump now, the darkness will stop me. I whispered goodbye as a tear rolled down my face, I leaned forward, letting gravity take me. Everything blurred and got closer. The last few seconds are nice, to have every worry and problem gone. The ground just kept getting closer, an asphalt has never looked so soft. Then I heard a shrill voice.
My younger sister Kassi was bouncing on my bed, screaming at me, "Wake up Nick, wake up!"
I sat up, hiding myself under my blankets still naked, "What? I was having a good dream.." I groaned.
"One of the bands you auditioned for replied!" she said, more excited than I was, because I knew it was just another rejection.
"Which one?" I questioned, still slightly intrigued.
"Pierce the V-" I ripped the letter out of her hand before she could finish.
Dear Nick L.,
We appreciate your audition to play rhythm guitar, and we would like to let you know that we would gladly accept you. If you're interested, fly out to San Diego to our studio, and if you would like, come on Warped Tour with us.
Vic Fuentes,
P.S. ticket inside (:
I looked in the envelope, and there was a plane ticket inside.
"Oh my God!" I shouted, thrilled that I could play with one of my all time favorite bands.
"Did they say yes!?" Kassi exclaimed, also excited.
That's when my already drunk dad busted into the room, already pissed for no reason, "Who said yes? Did your fairy ass finally get a girlfriend?"
I pulled my basketball shorts on and got in his face, "Why the fuck can't you just accept me? You did before mo-"
"Don't you mention that whores name!" he shouted, then wrapped his fingers around my throat.
I managed to choke out, "Fuck you," but as soon as I said that he backed up, my throat still in his grasp. He stared me down, then all of a sudden threw me down my stairs.
When I recovered from the fall, I grabbed Kassi, and told her to pack. I started to get my things when my dad asked, "And where the hell do you think you're going?"
"I'm leaving, and taking Kassi with me, I'm 18 now, and I'm done with your shit!" I said loud and sternly. She was coming with me to San Diego, and we were going to start over there. I had all of my shit together and put it by the door, and helped Kassi pack. I may have problems, and may want to end them, but Kassi is the last thing I love. I promised her I wouldn't ever try to kill myself again. I tried to keep her calm, and tried to keep the tears off of her beautiful brown eyes.
"Hey, you know I love you more than anything, right?" I murmured into her ear.
"I know, and I love you too," she was about to break. I can't let that happen.
"Then we're going to San Diego, and you're going to get everything you could ask for with the money I'm going to make from this, and we're going to have our own happy life without Daddy, without fighting or getting upset," I was trying not to cry myself, "Does that sound nice?"
She looked at me, with some actual hope in her eyes, "It does."
It was incredible to see her face light up after being on the verge of tears. She may only be 12, but she's one of the strongest people I know. I grabbed my dad's keys and stormed out with Kassi in my arms.
____________
As we arrived to the airport, Kassi seemed to be in shock. She's never seen anything like this at all. I flew to rehab center and back, so I've had a little experience. I looked at the ticket, and went to buy another one for her. It was $250 for a ticket. Fuck, I only have $400 to my name.
But this had to happen, it would help us both. And she needs the best, I couldn't let her go through what I did, she needs to be raised in better conditions. My mom left when I was 15. I figured out I was gay at 14. She left because I tried to kill myself. She said she couldn't take it anymore, and just walked out, never coming back. That's when dad started to drink more, to drown his problems. He started to hate me, to resent me. He blamed me for his wife leaving, and started to hate the fact I was gay.
But that doesn't matter anymore, that life is behind me. All of this was flooding through my mind as we were about to board. as soon as we found our seats, Kassi fell asleep, leaning on me. I felt bad moving to wake her up, so I just was going to try to sleep too. Here come the nightmares again was all that was on my mind as I rubbed my scars. In less than three hours I get to meet my idols.
I put my arms out to the side, felling my shirt flap in the wind. A darkness starts to take over my world. I was saying my last goodbyes, needing my last minute here when the voice came in, urging me to do it. The voice is driven from the dark, and if I don't jump now, the darkness will stop me. I whispered goodbye as a tear rolled down my face, I leaned forward, letting gravity take me. Everything blurred and got closer. The last few seconds are nice, to have every worry and problem gone. The ground just kept getting closer, an asphalt has never looked so soft. Then I heard a shrill voice.
My younger sister Kassi was bouncing on my bed, screaming at me, "Wake up Nick, wake up!"
I sat up, hiding myself under my blankets still naked, "What? I was having a good dream.." I groaned.
"One of the bands you auditioned for replied!" she said, more excited than I was, because I knew it was just another rejection.
"Which one?" I questioned, still slightly intrigued.
"Pierce the V-" I ripped the letter out of her hand before she could finish.
Dear Nick L.,
We appreciate your audition to play rhythm guitar, and we would like to let you know that we would gladly accept you. If you're interested, fly out to San Diego to our studio, and if you would like, come on Warped Tour with us.
Vic Fuentes,
P.S. ticket inside (:
I looked in the envelope, and there was a plane ticket inside.
"Oh my God!" I shouted, thrilled that I could play with one of my all time favorite bands.
"Did they say yes!?" Kassi exclaimed, also excited.
That's when my already drunk dad busted into the room, already pissed for no reason, "Who said yes? Did your fairy ass finally get a girlfriend?"
I pulled my basketball shorts on and got in his face, "Why the fuck can't you just accept me? You did before mo-"
"Don't you mention that whores name!" he shouted, then wrapped his fingers around my throat.
I managed to choke out, "Fuck you," but as soon as I said that he backed up, my throat still in his grasp. He stared me down, then all of a sudden threw me down my stairs.
When I recovered from the fall, I grabbed Kassi, and told her to pack. I started to get my things when my dad asked, "And where the hell do you think you're going?"
"I'm leaving, and taking Kassi with me, I'm 18 now, and I'm done with your shit!" I said loud and sternly. She was coming with me to San Diego, and we were going to start over there. I had all of my shit together and put it by the door, and helped Kassi pack. I may have problems, and may want to end them, but Kassi is the last thing I love. I promised her I wouldn't ever try to kill myself again. I tried to keep her calm, and tried to keep the tears off of her beautiful brown eyes.
"Hey, you know I love you more than anything, right?" I murmured into her ear.
"I know, and I love you too," she was about to break. I can't let that happen.
"Then we're going to San Diego, and you're going to get everything you could ask for with the money I'm going to make from this, and we're going to have our own happy life without Daddy, without fighting or getting upset," I was trying not to cry myself, "Does that sound nice?"
She looked at me, with some actual hope in her eyes, "It does."
It was incredible to see her face light up after being on the verge of tears. She may only be 12, but she's one of the strongest people I know. I grabbed my dad's keys and stormed out with Kassi in my arms.
____________
As we arrived to the airport, Kassi seemed to be in shock. She's never seen anything like this at all. I flew to rehab center and back, so I've had a little experience. I looked at the ticket, and went to buy another one for her. It was $250 for a ticket. Fuck, I only have $400 to my name.
But this had to happen, it would help us both. And she needs the best, I couldn't let her go through what I did, she needs to be raised in better conditions. My mom left when I was 15. I figured out I was gay at 14. She left because I tried to kill myself. She said she couldn't take it anymore, and just walked out, never coming back. That's when dad started to drink more, to drown his problems. He started to hate me, to resent me. He blamed me for his wife leaving, and started to hate the fact I was gay.
But that doesn't matter anymore, that life is behind me. All of this was flooding through my mind as we were about to board. as soon as we found our seats, Kassi fell asleep, leaning on me. I felt bad moving to wake her up, so I just was going to try to sleep too. Here come the nightmares again was all that was on my mind as I rubbed my scars. In less than three hours I get to meet my idols.
Write moreee!
7/13/13