Hayleys P.O.V

My eyes felt heavy and the room around me danced in bliss. I couldn't feel anything, all I know is my body was light and my head was clear. Nothing could stop this feeling.

"Okay, calm down" Oli said pulling me out of my trance. I looked at him and he pulled me away from the lines of Cocaine. I shook him off and went back to it.

"Don't tell me what to do" I muttered. I took snorted another line and enjoyed the burning sensation that came with it. It was like a good sorta pain.

"Listen, you're gonna get hurt if you keep taking this frequently as you are" He mumbled pushed me onto the couch.

I lay there looking at the ceiling. There were glow in the dark stars on the ceiling and it made me think of Vic. "The stars on your ceiling they glow but not for you" I sung sloppily.

Oli looked at me and shook his head. "I knew this was a bad idea" He looked really angry. I watched him take another two lines. He closed his eyes in bliss and laughed. "This is so good" He grinned.

I sat up and the room began to go dizzy. "I know, everything feels light" I giggled. "I'll be right back. Gotta pee" I said and bounced off into the bathroom.

When I got in there I suddenly felt sick. I grabbed the toilet and emptied my stomach into it. I seen red in my sick and began to panic. Everything went black for a minute.

I woke up to Oli violently shaking me. He was saying my name and I laughed so loud it almost shook the walls. "Hayley. You okay?" He asked. I nodded and he picked me up. I looked in the mirror and noticed the blood around my mouth and nose.

"Oli... what's going on?" I asked in panic. He looked at me and shrugged.

"Just a little blood, probably burnt your throat and nose. Happened all the time to me when I started out" He explained. I nodded and wiped it on my sleeve.

I walked into the living room and sat on the couch. He passed me a bottle of Vodka and I swig down a few mouthfuls. It burned my throat but I didn't care. Let the pain remind you hearts can heal? bullshit. The pain reminds you that you're alive. I'm living but I'm not alive.

There was a suddenly knock on the door and Oli fumbled over to it. He unlocked the door and in stormed a very pissed off looking Vic, a worried Tony, and angry Mike and a sad Josh. Vic made his way to me and kneeled down infront of me. "What are you doing here?" I giggled. He just looked at me sternly.

"What the fuck are you doing to yourself?" He demanded. I laughed in his face.

"Lighten up, you're so fucking uptight Victor" I giggled. He grabbed my hands and forced me to look at him.

"This isn't a game anymore. You're fucking up your own life now and for what? You lost your child. Want to know something that might shock you?" He said sounding angry. "You're not the only person in the world who has lost a child. Most people cry, have some time to themselves but in the end they pull themselves together and grow from it. You're tearing yourself down and for what? To get a stupid little high" He spat. "It's pathetic. You're pathetic" He said shaking his head at me.

"You cheated on me" I whispered. Tears formed in my eyes and one slowly fell down my cheek. His eyes softened. "You said you loved me. That we were forever but you broke that promise" I said trembling with sadness. "My heart can't take much more of this" I whispered looking away.

He closed his eyes and sighed. "I know. I fucked up so bad but I didn't lose grip on reality. I didn't give up" He said looking into my eyes.

I lost it and pushed him back. I stood up and pushed him even more until he fell backwards onto the floor with a thud. He looked up at me confused. "You have no right!" I shouted. "You have broken my heart, time and time again. What have I done to you? All I've ever really done was didn't stop one lousy kiss but other than that. Nothing!" I screamed. "You say I'm pathetic? YOU couldn't handle me saying I love you, YOU fucked your ex girlfriend knowing how I felt, YOU through no fault of your own granted let me think you got her pregnant, YOU threw me away when I made a little mistakes, YOU took my baby away from me and YOU CHEATED ON ME!" I screamed.

He stood up, tears streaming down his face. I looked around and everyone watched us intently. "Hayley you're high... you need to come back-"

No Vic. I won't go anywhere with you" I said shaking my head.

"This needs to end. TONIGHT" He snapped. His voice made me jump a little. "I made those mistakes okay but you want to know something Hayley, you shouldn't let anyone bring you down. Not me, not anyone. You're too good for that and you know what I may be selfish for still loving you but I'll never stop. Not until I stop breathing because you are the single most precious thing I have ever came across. Maybe that's why I make so many mistakes. I'm not worthy of you but until you finally walk away from me... I can't give up" He muttered.

I closed my eyes and sighed. "I don't want this anymore. I want this to be over" I mumbled. He nodded and opened his arms for me. I looked at them for a second and walked into them.

I began to cry my eyes out until I could barely breathe anymore. He held me tight and kissed my head over and over again. "I love you okay... we'll get through this" He said sounding hopeful. I nodded against him then he turned to Oli. "Why the hell did you get her on Cocaine?" He snarled. Oli apologized but Vic didn't take it. He dragged me out of the apartment and out into the car they had borrowed.

We went back to the bus and by the time we got there the drugs wore off. Jeremy and Taylor were pissed at me. I apologized until I could barely speak anymore. I fell asleep with Vics arms around me.

The Next Morning...

Vics P.O.V

I awoke in my bunk and smiled slightly at how last night went. I was still hurt at the fact Hayley was taking drugs but we were gonna fix it weren't we? Anyways. I rolled over and expected to have her pressed up against me but it was empty. I opened my eyes and the view confirmed this. Where did she go?

I noticed an envelope lying next to me. I frowned and sat up, grabbing the letter and opening.

'Dear Vic,

Last night was the wake up call that I needed, so thank you. This past year has been a rollercoaster ride for me, I've never had this much drama in all my life but with you it has been none stop. A part of me loved the thrill that it gave me, that you gave me but everything has to come to an end doesn't it?

My heart was broken the day we met, we built a relationship ontop of that and that is why we failed so many times. I wasn't ready. I told myself I was but I wasn't and everything in my body refused to let my pride be swallowed and take the time. Lust was mixed with love and hearts were truly broken, I wish I could say that I knew this would work but a part of me knew all along that it wouldn't. I'm sorry for that.

Today I will be getting on a plane back to Nashville. I'm getting a new place to stay and starting a fresh. Paramore needs some time off, some real time off. Jeremy and Taylor understand this and have given me permission to end the tour now. So I guess you'll be going home. The tour mangers are sad but they are dealing with it anyways. We done well on this tour. It will be an unforgetable one, I promise.

Please don't try to contact me or come find me. I need this. You said you could only truly give up when I walk away. So this is me... walking away.

I do love you, I just need to love myself a little more for now.

Yours truly,

Hayley Nichole Williams.

P.S. that's what you get when you let your heart win'

My hands shook and tears fell from my eyes. She was gone...

THE END.

Notes

So um yeah... the end... Or is it?