Who Are You?
VIII.
“Thank you San Diego!” I yelled into the mic as the show came to an end and the crowd continued to cheer. As the guys started to throw their guitar pics I searched the crowd in search of her face but deep down I knew she wasn’t there. I slumped my head down when I didn’t see her and made my way backstage.
“Hey are you alright buddy?” I hear Jaime say as soon as we hand over our instruments to Matt.
“Yeah just a little worn out.” I said, lying to him since he didn’t know about Savi but truth was even after nearly three months and a couple of shows I was still feeling down each and every time because I was missing her terribly. I thought I would be able to get over it soon enough but I knew that would never happen. Each show reminded me of that very first show I met her and it only made the wound in my heart worsen.
“Good thing it’s the end of this tour and we get to go home after this.” Jaime said as we headed towards the crowd of fans that waited for us. As we started to sign and take pictures with the fans I let my mind focus on them instead of what I was dealing with.
“Vic!” I heard Mike yell out my name from the opposite end of the crowd before making his way to me. I signed the items given to me and handed them back to their owners before he pulled me aside.
“What’s going on Mike?” I saw him look around as if he was stalling before turning back to me as I repeated his name.
“I know I should have done this a long time ago but I want you to know that I’m really sorry about the whole thing with Savi, I should have never interfered.”
I shook my head as soon as he said her name and started to step away. “Mike we can talk about this later.”
“No, I’m not done.” He said pulling me back. “Listen to me please Vic.”
“Okay, what is it?”
“I really am sorry; I want you to believe me. I thought I was doing the right thing then, you know look out for you like you’ve done for me plenty of times but I can see clearly that I did wrong. I just didn’t want to see you sad anymore but now I know that because of me it’s just gotten worse. I don’t know what to say but hope that someday you can forgive me.”
“It’s ok Mike, I know where your intentions were coming from and it’s not your fault. Things were just not meant to be I guess and I’ll get over it soon enough and get back to my normal self. I just need time, she meant a lot to me and I can’t just forget about her like that.”
“No, I know and I’m not expecting you to. But I think I have something that will make this situation better.” I saw a smile creep onto his lips and I had a bad feeling on what was going to happen next.
“Mike don’t tell me- I’m not up for hook ups right now.”
“Consider this part of my apology; now go she’s waiting by your truck.”
“Mike!” I glared at him, seeing that he clearly ignored what I just said as he pushed me in the direction of the truck. I passed by the bus and went into the vacant parking lot up ahead where my truck was located. I saw a girl sitting on the bed of my truck and I let out a sigh as I got closer. “I’m really sorry, I don’t know what my brother to-“I stopped as the girl turned around at the sound of my voice and smiled at me.
“Hi.”
“Savannah!” I quickly finished the distance and brought her in my arms for a hug but like at the hospital I felt her frozen in my arms. I let her go and looked into her stormy eyes as she searched for some answers in mine. “You still don’t know who I am do you?” I saw her drop her head down and brush away at a tear as she shook her head. I sat beside her in silence as I searched for the right words to tell her.
“I keep having these weird dreams that I don’t understand.” She started to say as she continued to stare at the ground. “They started when you brother gave me this a couple weeks ago.” She brought out the notebook from her bag and handed it over to me. “I read it so many times that I think I started creating stories in my head that have been causing these weird dreams. The thing I don’t understand is that my when I read it I get this wash of emotions all coming in at once that it just confuses me more and as I sit here I can’t seem to shrug this feeling of déjà vu that hangs over me. I sound crazy right?”
“No, not at all. You might not remember this but something very similar like tonight happened almost two years ago.”
“What do you mean?”
“At one of our shows in this same venue I saw you for the first time. I saw you first in the crowd during our set, right up front. You stood out to me because of those eyes. You see during the whole set I would look back at you and you would be with this big smile on your face as you sang along but you wouldn’t take your eyes off me.”
“Wow you probably thought I was weird.”
“On the contrary. After the show we always go out to hang out with our fans for a bit and I saw you there again when everyone was being rushed out. I saw you standing there alone and I was about to do what I was being told and go back to the bus to leave the venue but something kept telling me to go talk to you so I did. I ran to you and quickly grabbed your hand and ran off before the other fans noticed and before I got in trouble with the security. I brought you here where we are now until I took you back home with me.”
“We didn’t- I mean?”
“Oh no, it wasn’t like that, it never was. Yes we went back to my place but we literally spent all night just talking. That’s what I liked about you; you weren’t like anyone else I’ve met. I knew you were something special when I first saw you and I was right, I was never able to connect with someone like I did with you.” I felt myself being drawn to her as the distance between us kept getting smaller and smaller. “I love you Savi.” The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop my lips from meeting hers. I started kissing her and felt her lips slowly start to move in sync with mine reminding me of the very first time and every time after that. Oh how I missed these kisses. I felt myself get lost in all my emotions but knew I had to stop as this might be too much for her. “I’m so sorry.” I said realizing my mistake.
I saw her as she fiddled with her fingers as she tried to cover up the tears that now streamed down her cheeks. She stared down at her tattoo in silence for a moment and I knew it was game over, she didn’t remember and she wasn’t going to no matter how hard I tried. She turned to look at me and I stared into her eyes as the colors seemed like they started to swirl. I looked away so I wouldn’t make it harder on myself as she hoped off the truck bed. She took a step in the opposite direction but backtracked and quickly spun on her heels. I felt her chest crash into mine as she brought her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly.
“It was always you. When I was gone that was you bringing me back. They weren’t dreams, they were real, they were you.” I felt her arms loosen around my neck as she brought her hands down to cup my face. “Together forever in mind, body and soul” She said bringing tears in my eyes as I wiped away hers.
“Forever and a day Savi.” I heard her chuckle as the tears kept coming down, hitting the new smile on her face.
“I love you so much Vic.”
“Hey are you alright buddy?” I hear Jaime say as soon as we hand over our instruments to Matt.
“Yeah just a little worn out.” I said, lying to him since he didn’t know about Savi but truth was even after nearly three months and a couple of shows I was still feeling down each and every time because I was missing her terribly. I thought I would be able to get over it soon enough but I knew that would never happen. Each show reminded me of that very first show I met her and it only made the wound in my heart worsen.
“Good thing it’s the end of this tour and we get to go home after this.” Jaime said as we headed towards the crowd of fans that waited for us. As we started to sign and take pictures with the fans I let my mind focus on them instead of what I was dealing with.
“Vic!” I heard Mike yell out my name from the opposite end of the crowd before making his way to me. I signed the items given to me and handed them back to their owners before he pulled me aside.
“What’s going on Mike?” I saw him look around as if he was stalling before turning back to me as I repeated his name.
“I know I should have done this a long time ago but I want you to know that I’m really sorry about the whole thing with Savi, I should have never interfered.”
I shook my head as soon as he said her name and started to step away. “Mike we can talk about this later.”
“No, I’m not done.” He said pulling me back. “Listen to me please Vic.”
“Okay, what is it?”
“I really am sorry; I want you to believe me. I thought I was doing the right thing then, you know look out for you like you’ve done for me plenty of times but I can see clearly that I did wrong. I just didn’t want to see you sad anymore but now I know that because of me it’s just gotten worse. I don’t know what to say but hope that someday you can forgive me.”
“It’s ok Mike, I know where your intentions were coming from and it’s not your fault. Things were just not meant to be I guess and I’ll get over it soon enough and get back to my normal self. I just need time, she meant a lot to me and I can’t just forget about her like that.”
“No, I know and I’m not expecting you to. But I think I have something that will make this situation better.” I saw a smile creep onto his lips and I had a bad feeling on what was going to happen next.
“Mike don’t tell me- I’m not up for hook ups right now.”
“Consider this part of my apology; now go she’s waiting by your truck.”
“Mike!” I glared at him, seeing that he clearly ignored what I just said as he pushed me in the direction of the truck. I passed by the bus and went into the vacant parking lot up ahead where my truck was located. I saw a girl sitting on the bed of my truck and I let out a sigh as I got closer. “I’m really sorry, I don’t know what my brother to-“I stopped as the girl turned around at the sound of my voice and smiled at me.
“Hi.”
“Savannah!” I quickly finished the distance and brought her in my arms for a hug but like at the hospital I felt her frozen in my arms. I let her go and looked into her stormy eyes as she searched for some answers in mine. “You still don’t know who I am do you?” I saw her drop her head down and brush away at a tear as she shook her head. I sat beside her in silence as I searched for the right words to tell her.
“I keep having these weird dreams that I don’t understand.” She started to say as she continued to stare at the ground. “They started when you brother gave me this a couple weeks ago.” She brought out the notebook from her bag and handed it over to me. “I read it so many times that I think I started creating stories in my head that have been causing these weird dreams. The thing I don’t understand is that my when I read it I get this wash of emotions all coming in at once that it just confuses me more and as I sit here I can’t seem to shrug this feeling of déjà vu that hangs over me. I sound crazy right?”
“No, not at all. You might not remember this but something very similar like tonight happened almost two years ago.”
“What do you mean?”
“At one of our shows in this same venue I saw you for the first time. I saw you first in the crowd during our set, right up front. You stood out to me because of those eyes. You see during the whole set I would look back at you and you would be with this big smile on your face as you sang along but you wouldn’t take your eyes off me.”
“Wow you probably thought I was weird.”
“On the contrary. After the show we always go out to hang out with our fans for a bit and I saw you there again when everyone was being rushed out. I saw you standing there alone and I was about to do what I was being told and go back to the bus to leave the venue but something kept telling me to go talk to you so I did. I ran to you and quickly grabbed your hand and ran off before the other fans noticed and before I got in trouble with the security. I brought you here where we are now until I took you back home with me.”
“We didn’t- I mean?”
“Oh no, it wasn’t like that, it never was. Yes we went back to my place but we literally spent all night just talking. That’s what I liked about you; you weren’t like anyone else I’ve met. I knew you were something special when I first saw you and I was right, I was never able to connect with someone like I did with you.” I felt myself being drawn to her as the distance between us kept getting smaller and smaller. “I love you Savi.” The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop my lips from meeting hers. I started kissing her and felt her lips slowly start to move in sync with mine reminding me of the very first time and every time after that. Oh how I missed these kisses. I felt myself get lost in all my emotions but knew I had to stop as this might be too much for her. “I’m so sorry.” I said realizing my mistake.
I saw her as she fiddled with her fingers as she tried to cover up the tears that now streamed down her cheeks. She stared down at her tattoo in silence for a moment and I knew it was game over, she didn’t remember and she wasn’t going to no matter how hard I tried. She turned to look at me and I stared into her eyes as the colors seemed like they started to swirl. I looked away so I wouldn’t make it harder on myself as she hoped off the truck bed. She took a step in the opposite direction but backtracked and quickly spun on her heels. I felt her chest crash into mine as she brought her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly.
“It was always you. When I was gone that was you bringing me back. They weren’t dreams, they were real, they were you.” I felt her arms loosen around my neck as she brought her hands down to cup my face. “Together forever in mind, body and soul” She said bringing tears in my eyes as I wiped away hers.
“Forever and a day Savi.” I heard her chuckle as the tears kept coming down, hitting the new smile on her face.
“I love you so much Vic.”
Yay :)
7/20/13