RACHEL'S POV

I was doing okay with the nightmares since I started staying with the Perry's. I had got my things off my Aunt, but it meant sneaking in while she was away at work. The Perry's were lovely - I was instructed to refer to them as mama and papa and they literally never stopped making food. I was really thankful I was around them during such a hard time.

Stepping out of papa's car, I strolled slowly behind him and in the door. I was a bit shaken - my Dad looked especially bad that day. Without saying anything, I went up to my room and locked myself in. This was the fifth time in the week that I had done this. The moment I left him, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I hadn't eaten a proper meal in 4 days and I didn't intend to.

What's the point in life? My parents ar dead, I might as well be too. I might as well kill myself. Hm, but how? I wonder if there are enough pills in the cupboard? I don't want mama and papa to find me though, they don't deserve to see that. No. Maybe I should try and get myself ran over? Yeah, that sounds better.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. I continued to mumble my suicide plan to myself, unaware that mama had sat next to me on the bed.

'Rachel? What are you- no dear, death isn't good. Honey stop that, come on now.' She wrapped her arms around me to stop me from rocking back and fourth, hands clutching the covers. 'Dear, you're alright. Just tell me what's wrong.'

'I want to die,' I stated coldly, I could feel mama tense up. 'I want to be with my Mum and my Dad. Please let me?' I paused for a few seconds. 'Please?' I chocked out, bawling into her side straight after.

'I'm going to make you some hot chocolate, okay? You wait here, you're okay.' She patted my back before standing up and leaving the room.

TONY'S POV

Lying in my bed, I read through a letter that a fan had given me. Interrupted by buzzing, I lifted my phone to my ear as I carried on scanning the words. 'Hello mama.'

'Hello Tone-Tone. I'm sorry to bother you bu-'

'It's Rachel again isn't it? Is she talking about death again?'

'Uhhu. Tone I'm really worried about her, what did you do to calm her down when she got worked up? My hot chocolate just isn't working now.'

'I never did anything, mama. I just sat with her, hugged her.'

'Mmm..'

'What?'

'That's what your Father use to do to me when I was upset. That's how I knew I loved him, he had a way with me.. and not just calm-'

'Okay mama, spare me the details please.' I paused - I love Rachel. She knows I love her too. I want to be with her through everything. I want to hold her hand when she's told she's pregnant. I want to be the Dad. I want to buy a house with her. I want to kiss her on front of a priest. I want her to be mine - forever.

'Tony? Dear, are you there?'

'I am, mama. I need to go though. Talk to you soon. Good luck with Rachel, send my love.'

'I will, bye.'

MAMA'S POV

Hanging up, I placed the house phone back on its holder before heading upstairs. I went into Rachel's room to find that she was no longer there. Panicking I rushed through to Tony's room and, to my relief, she was there.

As I approached her, I realised she was sound asleep. She had snuggled into his covers and had her face buried in them. I moved her hair out of her face and kissed her cheek, 'goodnight, dear.'

I turned the light off and quietly shut the door, leaving her to sleep her troubles off as she had done numerous times before.

TONY'S POV

'Hey Vic, are we passing a mall soon?'

'Yeah, why?'

'I want to go to one for a little while.'

'What do you need?' asked Mike, taking a crisp and popping it in his mouth.

'You're gonna think I'm crazy,' I said, trying to figure out if I was. Not yet, Tony. It's too soon.

'Actually, it doesn't matter. Um, when does this tour end again?'

'We've only got one date to go, and that's tomorrow.'

'Right, okay. Well I know we usually don't go back straight away, but I'm going to. Rachel needs me.'

'That's okay dude,' smiled Jaime. 'That's good of you.'

Biting my lip, I nodded and headed back through to my bunk. It's too soon, Tony. Don't ask yet. Just wait a while.

Notes

predictions? thoughts?
thanks for reading!<3