She'd rather see me dead than face me.
Chapter 20~Excuses.
~Kari’s POV~
“Oh look the lights are back on.” I said dodging his question. “I’m going to bed. Good night.” I said as I headed up the stairs before he got the chance to ask me more things. I honestly wasn’t even tired. I lay awake sitting in my bed listening to music quietly so that Tony thought I had fallen asleep. I felt my phone vibrate. It was a text message from Axel.
Axel: “Hey Kari”
Kari: ”Hey”
Axel: “You wanna hang out tomorrow?”
Kari: “can’t. I’m busy” I honestly had nothing planned but I didn’t really know him.
Axel: “Come on. Just for a little.”
Kari: “sorry but I seriously can’t.”
Axel: “Yes you can. You should always have time for me.” What the hell?
Kari: “No sorry maybe some other time. Bye”
The conversation ended there. It scared me a bit that he was being so persistent when I barely even knew him. After about two hours of just thinking, I was finally able to go to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The twelve year old me sat at the edge of her bed. The doctor walked into the room. “I’m sorry. She won’t be waking up.” I began to cry as I looked at her unconscious body. I have been in this hospital for a week straight waiting for her to wake up and they tell me this now? It can’t be happening. I moved to the small couch in the corner of her room. I tried to close my eyes and sleep but I couldn’t. I opened my eyes to find her sitting up straight in her bed. “Mom! You’re alive!” I said as I began to get up. “No Kari. I’m sorry but I’m not.” She said as she placed her hand on mine. It was cold. She was right. She wasn’t alive.
~~~~~~~~~
I woke up shaking and crying. It was the same dream that I have had multiple times since I was twelve. I rushed out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I anxiously searched the cabinets and found my bottle of anti-depressants. I became extremely frustrated when I saw that the bottle was empty. Since I have been taking them on and off since I was twelve, I could usually tell when I needed them. I ran back to my room and got clothes then rushed back to the bathroom. I showered and got dressed quickly. I was putting on my shoes in my room when I heard a knock on my open door. I looked up as I continued to put on my shoes.
“Hey going somewhere?” Tony asked as he walked into my room. I needed to make up a lie fast.
“Just going to get some things at the grocery store really quick.”
“Oh well I’ll come with you.” Fuck. I didn’t want him to know.
“No its fine I got it.”
“Come on I’ll be bored here. And I’m already ready so you don’t need to wait for me.” I couldn’t come up with a good excuse so I just let him come.
“Fine. Come on let’s go.”
We walked to the car and got in. He noticed me turn on the car hurriedly. “Why are you in such a hurry?”
“Oh I’m not.” I lied nervously.
We drove to the store and I became extremely nervous and anxious that he would find out. At every stop light, I played nervously with my fingers hoping it would help calm me. He must’ve noticed. “Kari, are you ok?” he asked a little worried.
“Oh I’m fine.” We finally arrived to the store and I hid the bottle with my prescription on it in my pocket.
“So what were those things you wanted to get?” I looked around hoping that anything would spark an idea. Luckily something did.
“Oh well I wanted to ask if you wanted to go on a picnic later?”
“Oh yea that sounds great.”
“Ok. Well could you start getting some things while I go to the restroom real quick?”
“Oh sure.” I quickly walked off in the direction of the bathroom. I stood there for a while until the coast was clear. I walked over to the part of the store that had the pharmacy in it and headed to the counter. I showed the lady the bottle. She walked over and got me what I needed. I thanked her then walked to the bathroom again. I opened the bottle and took out a pill as I drank it with the water from the water fountain. I became a little relieved that I was able to succeed in my mission without Tony noticing. I looked for him through the aisles and finally found him. “Hey what’s that in your hand?” he asked pointing to the bottle.
“Oh you know just some allergy pills.”
“Oh.”
We finished getting the things we needed then headed back home to prepare some things. On the way back, I felt perfectly calm. We finally arrived and headed inside the home. I prepared a bit more of food while Tony packed some cold drinks and other things. We were finally done after about 45 minutes.
“Ready to go?” I asked.
“Yea.” We walked out to the car and loaded our things. We got in the car, and drove to the park.
“Oh look the lights are back on.” I said dodging his question. “I’m going to bed. Good night.” I said as I headed up the stairs before he got the chance to ask me more things. I honestly wasn’t even tired. I lay awake sitting in my bed listening to music quietly so that Tony thought I had fallen asleep. I felt my phone vibrate. It was a text message from Axel.
Axel: “Hey Kari”
Kari: ”Hey”
Axel: “You wanna hang out tomorrow?”
Kari: “can’t. I’m busy” I honestly had nothing planned but I didn’t really know him.
Axel: “Come on. Just for a little.”
Kari: “sorry but I seriously can’t.”
Axel: “Yes you can. You should always have time for me.” What the hell?
Kari: “No sorry maybe some other time. Bye”
The conversation ended there. It scared me a bit that he was being so persistent when I barely even knew him. After about two hours of just thinking, I was finally able to go to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The twelve year old me sat at the edge of her bed. The doctor walked into the room. “I’m sorry. She won’t be waking up.” I began to cry as I looked at her unconscious body. I have been in this hospital for a week straight waiting for her to wake up and they tell me this now? It can’t be happening. I moved to the small couch in the corner of her room. I tried to close my eyes and sleep but I couldn’t. I opened my eyes to find her sitting up straight in her bed. “Mom! You’re alive!” I said as I began to get up. “No Kari. I’m sorry but I’m not.” She said as she placed her hand on mine. It was cold. She was right. She wasn’t alive.
~~~~~~~~~
I woke up shaking and crying. It was the same dream that I have had multiple times since I was twelve. I rushed out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I anxiously searched the cabinets and found my bottle of anti-depressants. I became extremely frustrated when I saw that the bottle was empty. Since I have been taking them on and off since I was twelve, I could usually tell when I needed them. I ran back to my room and got clothes then rushed back to the bathroom. I showered and got dressed quickly. I was putting on my shoes in my room when I heard a knock on my open door. I looked up as I continued to put on my shoes.
“Hey going somewhere?” Tony asked as he walked into my room. I needed to make up a lie fast.
“Just going to get some things at the grocery store really quick.”
“Oh well I’ll come with you.” Fuck. I didn’t want him to know.
“No its fine I got it.”
“Come on I’ll be bored here. And I’m already ready so you don’t need to wait for me.” I couldn’t come up with a good excuse so I just let him come.
“Fine. Come on let’s go.”
We walked to the car and got in. He noticed me turn on the car hurriedly. “Why are you in such a hurry?”
“Oh I’m not.” I lied nervously.
We drove to the store and I became extremely nervous and anxious that he would find out. At every stop light, I played nervously with my fingers hoping it would help calm me. He must’ve noticed. “Kari, are you ok?” he asked a little worried.
“Oh I’m fine.” We finally arrived to the store and I hid the bottle with my prescription on it in my pocket.
“So what were those things you wanted to get?” I looked around hoping that anything would spark an idea. Luckily something did.
“Oh well I wanted to ask if you wanted to go on a picnic later?”
“Oh yea that sounds great.”
“Ok. Well could you start getting some things while I go to the restroom real quick?”
“Oh sure.” I quickly walked off in the direction of the bathroom. I stood there for a while until the coast was clear. I walked over to the part of the store that had the pharmacy in it and headed to the counter. I showed the lady the bottle. She walked over and got me what I needed. I thanked her then walked to the bathroom again. I opened the bottle and took out a pill as I drank it with the water from the water fountain. I became a little relieved that I was able to succeed in my mission without Tony noticing. I looked for him through the aisles and finally found him. “Hey what’s that in your hand?” he asked pointing to the bottle.
“Oh you know just some allergy pills.”
“Oh.”
We finished getting the things we needed then headed back home to prepare some things. On the way back, I felt perfectly calm. We finally arrived and headed inside the home. I prepared a bit more of food while Tony packed some cold drinks and other things. We were finally done after about 45 minutes.
“Ready to go?” I asked.
“Yea.” We walked out to the car and loaded our things. We got in the car, and drove to the park.
8/10/13