I grabbed her hand and spoke "I want to be ready with you." She pulled hers out of mine and ranaway yelling "I can't I'm not sorry." I turned and pulled my hands through my hair angrily. She was the best thing in my life, why was I so selfish? I kicked the wall. And pushed my back against it and slid down tears in my eyes. "I'm a jerk, god I hate me." I said and stood up and walked to my bus. I opened the door and walked through the living room. Tears were rolling down my cheeks now. They stood up and walked over to me "What happened?" "I ruined my life. I fucked up so bad guys." I fell to my knees as they sat around me. "I love Al-ex, I always have." "How did we not know?" mike asked. "Cause I thought it would ruin our 'image'. I'm such a fuck up!" "what did you do, Vic? Tony asked. I looked up at him. "On her sixteenth birthday I told her I loved her and I slept with her. But when morning rolled around I thought about me and our band and how it would look if I dated a 16 year old so..." I stopped cause I couldn't breathe. "I told her I didn't love her and told her we couldn't be." "If you loved her then why did you do that?" "I don't know I lost everything that day. My best friend, the love of my life-" Did you tell her?" "Yeah of coarse I did, but she has a wall up. Thats not even the worst part." I put my head in my hands. Jaime put his hand on my shoulder and asked "Then whats the worst part?" "I got her fucking pregnant and would answer her calls or anything, Her parents kicked her out, and she gave the baby up for adoption." They all stared at me. "Well say something!" I yelled. "Vic what do you want us to say, She was like a younger sister to us, and you had us believe this whole time she was mad at us when she was in love with you. And I have conflicting emotions about this, part of me wants to comfort you and the other half kick your fucking ass for getting our little sister and best friend pregnant and just leaving her." Tony said. "I didn't know!" "But you didn't try to know either did you?" He spat back. "No...I miss her so much!" Mike stood up and pulled me up. He helped me get to my bunk as I crawled in. I wanted to die, stop living for what I did to Alex. I was gonna make it up to her, and I meant what I said I wanted to be ready with her. I'm gonna win her back and prove myself. I layed there just staring. I fell asleep some how.

Notes

comment please!!!! :P