Swimming In Chocolate Waters
It Gets Better, So Much Better
"Come on, let's get you cleaned up." I say as I walk her to the bathroom and sit her on the tub. I took out the Neosporin cream and alchol. I could tell by the look on her face that she was ashamed. "No need to be ashamed. It happens to the best of us."
Skylar looked down at her mangled skin and looked away "I'm pathetic."
"No you aren't" I whispered. She looked at me confused so I'm pretty sure she didn't mean to say that out loud "You said that out loud darling."
"Oh!" She sighed and wiped tears from her eyes "But it's true. I am pathetic."
"No you aren't." I said as I wiped her cut with alchol causing her to hiss " You'r e not pathetic. If anyone's pathetic it's the ones who pick on you."
"This." Skylar motioned to her battered body "This is the definition of pathetic. Only pathetic people do thing like this to themselves. So don't try and say I'm not pathetic."
"We've all been there sometime Sky. We all breakdown." I look her in the eye and her hazels stare back at me "When we do we have to pick ourselves back up and start over again."
"What if we don't want to pick ourselves back up? What if we don't want to start over again?" She looked away from me and out the window "What if all we really want is for all of it to end?"
My heart shattered at her last few words. Did she really want to end her life? Was this what she was trying to do when we found her? "Skylar was this.....was this a suicide attempt?" She didn't reply. She looked around me avoiding eye contact "Skylar! Tell me this wasn't one."
"No it wasn't." She said still not looking me in the eye. " I was just cutting and I went a little too far." I sighed in relief "But that dosen't mean that I don't think about it. That dosen't mean I don't want too." She looked at me sadly "Some day I will get the courage to go all the way. To finally end the pain, the suffering, the heartache. Because living life is just so fucking hard."
"Skylar you shouldn't talk like that." I say sternly "Things won't always be this hard. It may not seem like it right now. But it does."
Skylar eyes looked up at me full of hope "Really? Does it really get better?"
I shook my head and smiled "It does." I whisper as I lift up my sleeve showing my barely noticeable scars " I would know."
She smiled and hugged me tightly. Tears of hope spring from her eyes "God, I hope you're right Victor. I hope things get better."
"It gets better." I whisper planting a kiss on her head "So much better."
Skylar looked down at her mangled skin and looked away "I'm pathetic."
"No you aren't" I whispered. She looked at me confused so I'm pretty sure she didn't mean to say that out loud "You said that out loud darling."
"Oh!" She sighed and wiped tears from her eyes "But it's true. I am pathetic."
"No you aren't." I said as I wiped her cut with alchol causing her to hiss " You'r e not pathetic. If anyone's pathetic it's the ones who pick on you."
"This." Skylar motioned to her battered body "This is the definition of pathetic. Only pathetic people do thing like this to themselves. So don't try and say I'm not pathetic."
"We've all been there sometime Sky. We all breakdown." I look her in the eye and her hazels stare back at me "When we do we have to pick ourselves back up and start over again."
"What if we don't want to pick ourselves back up? What if we don't want to start over again?" She looked away from me and out the window "What if all we really want is for all of it to end?"
My heart shattered at her last few words. Did she really want to end her life? Was this what she was trying to do when we found her? "Skylar was this.....was this a suicide attempt?" She didn't reply. She looked around me avoiding eye contact "Skylar! Tell me this wasn't one."
"No it wasn't." She said still not looking me in the eye. " I was just cutting and I went a little too far." I sighed in relief "But that dosen't mean that I don't think about it. That dosen't mean I don't want too." She looked at me sadly "Some day I will get the courage to go all the way. To finally end the pain, the suffering, the heartache. Because living life is just so fucking hard."
"Skylar you shouldn't talk like that." I say sternly "Things won't always be this hard. It may not seem like it right now. But it does."
Skylar eyes looked up at me full of hope "Really? Does it really get better?"
I shook my head and smiled "It does." I whisper as I lift up my sleeve showing my barely noticeable scars " I would know."
She smiled and hugged me tightly. Tears of hope spring from her eyes "God, I hope you're right Victor. I hope things get better."
"It gets better." I whisper planting a kiss on her head "So much better."
Yess!! That's exactly the reaction I was trying to get. Glad to know i succeded.
11/13/13